Tag Archives: Upset

Stuff I actually dream about

In my last post I talked about the things I like to daydream about.
But what do I dream about when I’m fast asleep? Let’s find out…

Monday I dreamed that Jessica Simpson was coming out with a line of butter candies. The flavors she had were: buttered toast, buttered popcorn, hot buttered rum and baked potato with butter. She needed my help to come up with the 5th flavor. I suggested buttered waffles.

Tuesday I dreamed that I worked at the Mad Men offices. I was going through everyone’s files to find out what their salaries were. I’m sneaky that way.

Wednesday I dreamed that I was hanging out with Lynda Carter/Wonder Woman. She was really impressed that I had a gold ring with three purple stones (I do not really have a gold ring with three purple stones).

Thursday I dreamed that I was a consumer reporter analyzing pool rafts.

Friday I dreamed that I couldn’t open my high school locker. It seemed I spent all night trying to open my combination lock. I hate those kinds of dreams. (In high school my locker combination was 10-16-38).

Saturday I dreamed that I was in charge of refreshments for the Honey Boo Boo airshow (she would jump out of an airplane and fly to the ground). I couldn’t find a dozen doughnuts, cupcakes or cookies, so I had to mix and match. It was very frustrating.

On Sunday I dreamed that I went to a party thrown by Kathy Griffin. I par-tayed until the wee hours. The next day Liam Neeson was mad at me for keeping his little boy out all night long. I guess I was supposed to be babysitting him – oops.

So what does any of this mean? Who cares. At least I didn’t dream that my teeth were falling out or that I had a mouth full of gum. My favorite dreams are flying dreams – but I rarely have those. What are some of the weird dreams you have? Let me know in comments!


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C&R Fight Club: MIKEY Defeats MIKE TYSON!

In an unexpected and startling upset, Mikey defeated former undisputed heavyweight champion of the world, Mike Tyson, in last Thursday’s Cocky & Rude Fight Club bout.  Most assumed that such an experienced boxer would defeat Mikey … but that was far from the case.  Mikey rocketed to the win with a staggering 90% of the popular vote, made up of an amazing 312 votes (far more votes than any other C&R Fight Club battle thus far).  The convicted rapist and pidgeon breeder, Mike Tyson earned only 36 votes, or 10% of the popular vote.  Don’t forget that all fights are determined by a poll that does not block repeat votes … so we at C&R are guessing that someone really wanted Mikey to win.

CONGRATULATIONS MIKEY!

Have You Ever … Been Annoying on Facebook?!

Let’s face it.  It’s 2011 and just about everyone and their mother (and their grandmother) has a Facebook page.  But are you annoying the crap out of all friends?  Do they consider unfriending you each and every time they see your name on their news feed?  There’s only one way to find out … a Have You Ever?! quiz!

You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever not had a profile photo?
2. Have you ever poked someone?
3. Have you ever tagged friends in photos that they’re not in?
4. Have you ever tagged a friend in an embarrassing photo that you know would upset them?
5. Have you ever posted more than 5 photos a week of your child?
6. Have you ever deleted your birthday from your profile in attempt to weed out your ‘true’ friends?
7. Have you ever invited people to attend events that you know they could never attend, thus making them feel badly?
8. Have you ever posted or shared game updates on your profile page?
9. Have you ever sent multiple game invites for the same game to the same person?
10. Have you ever written a private message to someone on their wall, so everyone can see it?
11. Have you ever “liked” your own comments?
12. Have you ever complained about Facebook redesigns and/or updates?
13. Have you ever posted religious or political comments and/or links?
14. Have you ever clicked one of those “see who is looking at your profile” scams and unknowingly spammed a whole bunch of your friends with it?
15. Have you ever installed a Facebook app that requires inviting at least 5 additional friends, yet never actually works?
16. Have you ever tagged more than 5 people in a single status update?
17. Have you ever posted a ‘chain letter’ status message?  (i.e. “Post this as your status update if you believe/hope/want/love…”)
18. Have you ever felt that a comment is a good place to offer someone unnecessary and unwanted education or grammatical corrections?
19. Have you ever posted cutesy-tootsey love messages to your significant other for everyone to see?
20. Have you ever posted a complainy status messages, just to make everyone feel sorry for you?
21. Have you ever posted FourSquare updates to your Facebook page?
22. Have you ever left sexuality-revealing comments on the Facebook page of someone who has not publicly revealed their sexuality?
23. Have you ever sent a Facebook message to more than 10 people and caused them all to get an email every time someone responds?
24. Have you ever tagged your friends as family members, or listed yourself as being “in a relationship” with someone who is really just a friend?
25. Have you ever left your friend requests in limbo (avoid accepting or denying friend requests) for more than a week?

Now tell us your total in the comments … so we can unfriend you!