Tag Archives: Thursday

Stuff I actually dream about

In my last post I talked about the things I like to daydream about.
But what do I dream about when I’m fast asleep? Let’s find out…

Monday I dreamed that Jessica Simpson was coming out with a line of butter candies. The flavors she had were: buttered toast, buttered popcorn, hot buttered rum and baked potato with butter. She needed my help to come up with the 5th flavor. I suggested buttered waffles.

Tuesday I dreamed that I worked at the Mad Men offices. I was going through everyone’s files to find out what their salaries were. I’m sneaky that way.

Wednesday I dreamed that I was hanging out with Lynda Carter/Wonder Woman. She was really impressed that I had a gold ring with three purple stones (I do not really have a gold ring with three purple stones).

Thursday I dreamed that I was a consumer reporter analyzing pool rafts.

Friday I dreamed that I couldn’t open my high school locker. It seemed I spent all night trying to open my combination lock. I hate those kinds of dreams. (In high school my locker combination was 10-16-38).

Saturday I dreamed that I was in charge of refreshments for the Honey Boo Boo airshow (she would jump out of an airplane and fly to the ground). I couldn’t find a dozen doughnuts, cupcakes or cookies, so I had to mix and match. It was very frustrating.

On Sunday I dreamed that I went to a party thrown by Kathy Griffin. I par-tayed until the wee hours. The next day Liam Neeson was mad at me for keeping his little boy out all night long. I guess I was supposed to be babysitting him – oops.

So what does any of this mean? Who cares. At least I didn’t dream that my teeth were falling out or that I had a mouth full of gum. My favorite dreams are flying dreams – but I rarely have those. What are some of the weird dreams you have? Let me know in comments!


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Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 13

Our twelfth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate twelve weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

BC&RL3 is almost over!  What are the contestants going to do after the contest ends?  Will they continue their diets or fall back into their old ways? Here’s what they had to say…


Mr. Sombrero
Ok I barely lost any weight but this contest opened my eyes and I realized how much I suck at it an need to take this whole weight-losing seriously. Since I always cram things last minute I hope that I can lose few more pounds by the end of this competition. I have few things lying around the house that can help me do that…


TwoPi
On the advice of my physician, I’ve quit caffeine completely. Next up: joining Weight Watchers online. Charles Barkley says I need to “learn to lose like a man”; I’m guessing he lost a bet or something, based on the photo above. Will WW push my weight loss past the 10% goal I set at the start of BC&RL3? Time will tell. I do know that I won’t end up looking like this photo though — Sir Charles has much better legs than I do.


Tam
Will I continue after this great contest is over? Yes. I’ve been a total slacker lately, but it’s always been there in the back of my mind, so it’s keeping me more honest than I might be otherwise. I have a trip to the UK in Sept. and losing some weight would be nice, so I think I’ll keep at it, even if I don’t have to check in every week. The way things were going before we started this, I would have been up as much as I’ve lost, so if nothing else, this brought my compulsive eating to a halt. I’ll keep slogging away. Congrats to Cupcake. Someday I shall be a cupcake, ’tis my fondest wish. (And I’m writing this before I know who wins, but I’m sure it’s Cupcake.)


Adam
Let’s face it, I’ve done horribly in this competition. But I’m going to change — I swear! Diet, exercise, willpower, and weight loss are all in my future! I hope…


Michelle M.
I’m about halfway to my goal, so I’m going to keep on dieting until I get there. Summer is coming and I want to fit into my shorts!


Ryan
I plan to continue after this, but I haven’t exactly been that diligent over the past few weeks. If I do my best to keep track of what I eat and make my exercise goals, I could hit my next weight goal sometime this summer. I don”t know if that will be the end because I’ve never been this lean in my life, so I have no idea where I want to end up. I think I might pick up running in the next couple of weeks. I’m at the point that walking longer doesn’t provide much of a challenge beyond finding the time.


Polt
This week, we’re to talk about Beyond BC&RL3. When this is over, I’ll not fall back into my old ways, cause I don’t want my doctor yelling at me. I got onto this diet I’m on because of her, and luckily it just happened to correspond with this competition. Weight loss, though, is only a secondary goal. My main goal is to get my sugar levels down. And that I’ll continue, hopefully, well after the contest. And in doing so, I’ll eventually end up all sleek, and svelte, and sexy-like. Just like this photo!


Mikey
The graph here is what I had hoped my weight loss would look like. It hasn’t yet, but I have started to lose weight again! Ty and I are continuing to two a few things to maximize our loss and minimize our waists: cooking healthier foods rather than doing the NYC thing of ordering in ALL THE TIME, substituting seltzer for tonic (don’t laugh…it works. I lost 5 lbs after making that small change), and trying to get more of the dreaded exercise.


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

My week.

Monday
Harry had hockey, so Cooper and I watched The Muppets. My favorite muppet is Floyd. He’s so cool and laid back – the opposite of me! Cooper’s favorite muppet was the little girl giving Walter the side-eye. Cooper is also a big Chris Cooper fan.

Did I have a soda, candy and popcorn while watching the movie? No. I had celery sticks, apple sauce and water.

Tuesday
I checked in on the roses. After finally getting rid of whatever was eating holes in the leaves, our five rose bushes came down with powdery mildew. And just when they were looking so healthy and lush and were starting to bloom. I had to cut them all back. Boo.

I did my ironing. I hate ironing. Here is a shirt that is supposed to be “no iron”. Grrrr.

Wednesday
Wednesday we got in the car and headed to Temecula‘s wine country (about an hour north of us). Last year Harry gave me a horseback ride and wine tasting lunch for my birthday. We finally got around to doing it. My horse’s name was Rusty and Harry’s was Quincy. It was super hot, and my horse kept fighting me to be in front of the guide, but it was fun!

After our ride we went to Wilson Creek Winery for our wine tasting. Woo hoo!

Then we had lunch. The restaurant was outdoors. They had misters which was lovely on such a hot day. The rolls had cheese on them (yuck), but the crackers were pretty good. I had a (steak) salad.

Thursday
Thursday was the last day of my painting class. Some of the students brought in snacks. One of them brought chocolate cupcakes. I took one because it would have been rude of me to refuse.

Here is the painting I’ve been working on. It’s Franz Marc‘s Red Horses. It’s a little off because the dimensions of my canvas are different from the original. And I still have a lot yet to do. I’m the queen of unfinished projects, but hopefully I’ll keep working on it.

Friday
After dinner at a Mexican restaurant with friends (I had 2 daiquiris, peach and strawberry), Harry and I decided to go to the local dive bar to drink some more. He had beer and some kind of cinnamon shot thing. I had 2 rum and cokes. They have a neat jukebox with bajillions of songs.

We killed zombies, played air hockey (Harry won) and pool (Harry won – maybe it’s because I played this way…).

Saturday
We went to our local farmer’s market. We got some fresh, organic California strawberries.

Then we took the car in to Pep Boys because the air conditioner broke. This would be their second go round trying to fix it (this isn’t our first experience having to bring the car back for a re-repair). After we got there they told us to bring it back another day (after just telling us on the phone to bring it in). After we get it fixed we shall never, ever return. Manny, Mo and Jack can suck it.

We decided to have lunch in Hillcrest. We went to Freebirds World Burrito. It’s kinda like Chipotle, but with more options. Check out my huge burrito:

We sat outside and guess what music was playing? “Black Betty”. I kid you not. Also, I totally didn’t have a brownie or cookie. Willpower!

On the way home we saw this bar. It reminded me of Adam.

Sunday
I didn’t do much. I can’t find my brand of shampoo anywhere anymore, so I used this brand for the first time. It smells like flowers and fruit salad.

I also read, played on the computer and watched tv. Then I worked on Cooper’s exciting post for Monday.
Check out Cooper’s Corner for a very important announcement: http://cooperscorner.info/

So how was your weekend? And who is your favorite muppet? Let me know in comments!

It’s The Thursday Four!

My new haircut looks something like this.

Much like the ‘Friday Five’, the ‘Thursday Four’ is an exploration of great things.  …except there are four things instead of five.  …and it’s Thursday and not Friday.  …and it doesn’t really have the same ring as ‘Friday Five’.  OH WELL!  This week Michelle M. and I got together (figuratively, not literally) to present these four great things to you.  Read ’em and weep, suckers!

1. Grooming myself! (and having other people groom me.)  This week I trimmed my beard really short, AND got a haircut!  I look marvelous!  I’d post a photo, but I’ve gotten so fat that I hardly look like myself anymore.  (Hurray for BC&RL3!)  Either that or I’m just super lazy tonight.  ANYWAY — I love having a closely shorn head and face.  Is that weird? -Adam

Fuck you, Chris Christie!

2. Chris Christie vetoed gay marriage!  After I’ve finally gotten over the fact that he fired every teacher in NJ, I needed a new reason to hate that fat Republican fuck.  And he did not disappoint — last week he vetoed gay marriage!  Yay Chris Christie!  Now I have a reason hate you forever.  If I ever see you in person, I promise to spit on you.  People just don’t spit on each other enough these days.  Unless they need emergency lubrication — but that’s a whole ‘nother story. -Adam

3. Downton Abbey* – what a great show. Season two has just ended, but there will be a season three, and Shirley MacLaine will play Lady Cora’s mother. Yay! Here is a clip from Saturday Night Live if you haven’t been watching and would like a rundown on the show. – Michelle M.

They see me rollin', they hatin', patrollin' Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty.

4. And look! There are Downton Abbey paper dolls, in case you’re going through DA withdrawal like me. I love the faces for the Chicken Lady, er, Dowager Countess, O’Brien’s evil soap and Mr. Pamuk. – Michelle M.

Runners up: The Good Wife*, reusable shopping bags, complaining, spending other people’s money, liquid wart remover,lazy posts, pregnant ladies, selling crap on eBay, adorably tiny bottles of diet soda, eating like a pig before BC&RL3, and hardcore gay pornography.

That’s our Thursday Four … what’s yours?

*Why isn’t this show on Our T.V. Night??

One week in the life of Michelle M.

I was at a loss about what to post, so here’s a rundown of my exciting, fun-filled week.

Monday – It rained. I went grocery shopping, did laundry, ironed and watched The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Tuesday – The digital arts class I wanted to take was closed, so I signed up for painting. Class started today. This is the building it’s in. We didn’t do any painting, just got our materials list. I was relieved I wasn’t the oldest one there.

Wednesday – I drove all over town looking for the supplies on my materials list. After going to four stores I finally had them all.

Thursday – Our car broke down. To the tune of $3,000. This is the rental car we’re using. In class we painted a still life of ugly bottles. We were only allowed to use burnt umber, so I ended up with an ugly brown painting of ugly bottles.

That night we went out for dinner. I had a glass of Chardonnay. The menu described it as having notes of pear, lime zest, butterscotch, honey and vanilla – none of which I could taste (wine always tastes like wine to me). Harry had a beer.

Friday – I gave blood. I wanted to have Nutter Butters, but I’m doing the non- gluten thing and had a Rice Krispie treat instead. Afterwards, we went to Wendy’s because I was craving chicken nuggets. I blame Mikey.

Saturday – I got my hair did. At least one day a month my hair does not look like a big frizzy mess. We went to Islands for dinner where I had a lovely (and potent) Mai Tai. Harry had a beer.

Sunday – We went to Las Olas for dinner (Harry had 2 beers). This is the view across the street. I love California.

Then we went to the used record store and Pizza Port for a drink. I had a hard apple cider. Harry had 2 additional beers. We rounded out the night by going to the pet store and buying a new toy for Cooper. Then I kept Adam awake ’til all hours finishing up this post.

How was your week? Was it as amazing as mine? Let me know in comments!

C&R Fight Club: Kristen “The Kid” Wins Round 5

In a surprisingly close battle, Kristen “The Kid” has won the battle of Thursday vs. Friday.  That’s right — with a lead of only 18%, everyone’s favorite air to the Tam’s Reads throne has won our fifth Cocky & Rude Fight Club Battle.  Atop Sprinkles the pony, Kristen who earned 59% with 79 votes, managed to defeat Rebecca Black who only earned 41% with 55 votes.  It looks like Rebecca won’t be the one that’s  “Party’n party’n yeah! Party’n party’n yeah! Fun, fun, fun, fun…” this weekend.  We at Cocky & Rude believe that Rebecca’s loss in this battle can be attributed to her car seat indecision and overrated ‘mole that shoots lasers’ abilities.  Congratulations, Kristen!

C&R Fight Club: REBECCA BLACK vs. THE KID!


Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club!  The rules to the game are simple.  Each week we’ll introduce our fighters.  We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses.  Then we’ll put the results to vote.  You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…


REBECCA BLACK

Date of Birth: June 21, 1997
Place of Birth: Anaheim Hills, CA
Residence: With her parents, John Jeffery Black and Georgina Marquez Kelly
Relationship Status: Presumably single, possibly dating one of the boys in the video
Regional Accent: Californian Auto-Tune
Occupation: Singer(?)
Favorite Rapper: Patrice Wilson
What time do you wake up in the morning: 7AM (gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs)
Favorite Breakfast food: cereal
Favorite underage driving destination: slow highways with cities in the background, parking lots, parties near trees with rainbow lighting
Favorite day of the week to git down on: FRIDAY
Do you look forward to the weekend?: we so excited!
Which seat can you take? (Front seat or back seat): undecided (“which seat can I taaaaaakeee?”)
Favorite curse word: none

Viral (pop?) star, Rebecca Black burst onto the Internet scene in March of 2011 after recording her hit song, Friday.  Reportedly costing her mother a whopping $4000, the “vanity release” has since spawned countless spoofs and covers by the cast of Glee, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, The Roots and Taylor Hick, Nick Jonas, Katy Perry, Conan O’Brien and Andy Richter, and Justin Bieber.  The video features an excessive use of Auto-Tune, underage driving, a whole lot of “fun, fun fun, fun, partying, partying, yeah!”, a rap interlude by co-producer Patrice Wilson, bad haircuts, a disregard for car safety, and a brace-face named Benni Cinkle.  Rebecca’s weapons are numerous and include a convertible driven by minors, rainbow colored party lights, Benni Crinkle bites, and ear shattering Auto-Tuning.  It should also be noted that Rebecca may or may not be able to shoot lasers from her sizable  mole.  Beware!


KRISTEN, “THE KID”

Also known as: Dieter Vonsnizenhauzerkrank (i can’t believe I’m admitting this)
Alias: ‘Lil Meezy
Date of Birth: May 28
Place of Birth: Ottawa, Canada
Residence: With my mom
Relationship Status: Mentally dating various celebrities
Regional Accent: Canadian, eh?
Occupation: Forever Unemployed
Height & Weight: Not tall enough & a little too much
Favorite Rapper: S-L-I-M S-H-A-D-Y
What time do you wake up in the morning: Too early for any human being
Favorite Breakfast food: bagels, bagels and more bagels. 
Favorite underage driving destination: The Bagel Shoppe
Favorite day of the week to git down on: THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you look forward to the weekend?: Only if there’s PARTYING involved 😀
Favorite place to party: The Slytherin Common Room
Which seat can you take? (Front seat or back seat): Front seat. I demand riding shotgun
Favorite curse word: BULLOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daughter of Tam (last week’s C&R Fight Club winner), Kristen (more commonly referred to as “The Kid”), hails from Ottawa, Canada.  Like your average teen girl, “The Kid” attends school, enjoys riding a pony named Sprinkles, dreams of one day becoming a ballet dancer, and loves watching Jersey Shore (she’s seen every episode!), and The Food Network.  Kristen’s favorite movies include Hitchcock’s Rope, Vertigo, Rear Window, and Psycho — so she’s clearly no stranger to murder and intrigue.  It may seem like “The Kid” fights in the shadow of her mother’s battle, but don’t be fooled … she shines bright!  Her secret weapons include Sprinkles the Pony (who may or may not be rabid), an endless supply of bagels (don’t let the holes fool you, they hurt when they hit you!), The Situation’s abs of steel, Snooki (who may or may not be rabid), and her favorite hockey team: the Pittsburgh Penguins.  Don’t mess with Dieter Vonsnizenhauzerkrank!!!


Who will win in the battle of Friday vs. Thursday?  Will Rebecca Black ignore her 2,710,134+ YouTube dislikes and Auto-Tune herself all the way to victory?  Or will “The Kid” trample her opponent to death with Sprinkles the Pony?  We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.

Check back on Sunday at noon for the results!

Thanks to Kristen & Michelle M. for your assistance with this post!