Tag Archives: stuff

Biggest C&R Loser 2013

Biggest_CR_Loser_2013

Welcome to the 8th week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40!  This week’s theme is “TEMPTATION” – Everyone is tempted by something (food, laziness, sleep) when they should be eating healthy and exercising.  What tempts the contestants?  Let’s find out!


Polt

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So this week, it’s Temptation. My biggest temptation is: Gay Porn. ‘Well DUH!’ I can hear you all saying now, but I mean as it relates to this contest. See, if I give in to the temptation of the uncounted amount of gay porn on the Internet, then I spend time watching that and NOT out walking. And after watching gay porn, I’m generally in need of replenishing my…energies. So I eat. And usually it’s snacky-stuff, that’s not healthy for me. So if I could resist the gay porn, I could be exercising more and eating better. …..but yeah, we ALL know that ain’t gonna happen.


Tam

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My temptations are books, I’m either reading one (Don’t ya love my snazzy red e-reader?) or writing one and Chapman’s oatmeal cookies and chocolate ice-cream sandwiches. But they were on sale. How could I not buy them? I’m just a lazy ass all around. I should be up doing something useful and energetic, but I’d rather surf the net and do reading-type stuff. Which would explain why there is no way in hell I am winning the $40.


TwoPi

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I’ve mostly been eating what I want. I’ve gotten over my cravings for sweets (fairly easy) and for salty snack foods (harder). But what I’m so so SO tempted by is caffeinated coffee. My physician took me off caffeine last summer, and I’ve been successful staying off. But man, when I get behind on grading papers, get up early to get work done before the kids wake up, and I’m sipping my third cup of decaf wondering why it isn’t doing it for me…dang. I’ve been jonesing for caffeine pretty badly lately.


Adam

Lately I’ve been tempted to actually lose weight. I’ve been considering a visit to the gym. I’ve even thought about counting calories. Maybe I’ll actually succumb to the temptation!!


Michelle M.

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What tempts me? My inner child. Grown up me knows she should eat right and exercise, but my inner child is quite the little temptress. What she says pretty much goes.


Mikey

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My number one temptation is take out. Living in NYC it is sooooo easy to order anything to your door, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you will eat well. At least once a week I am tired enough to think about ordering…but my brain denies it.


Mr. Sombrero

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I get tempted so easily. Mostly by peanut butter and anything else that starts with the word, “Reese’s.” Late at night when I’m watching Chelsea Lately, I think that should be exercising. Instead, I just close my eyes and imagine that I am Mena Suvari in American Beauty, being showered with rose petals. Except that it’s me instead of Mena, and I’m being showered with jars of PB. And then I get hit in the head and wake up. Then it’s time for bed.

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Nathan

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My biggest temptation is eating delicious quick unhealthy foods. I’m a sucker for pizza. Making healthy choices is more expensive and more work, and I’m just lazy I guess.


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Biggest C&R Loser 2013

Biggest_CR_Loser_2013

Welcome to the 5th week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40!  This week’s theme is “WHAT DO YOU MISS THE MOST?” —  Our contestants have  accomplished nearly an entire month of dieting.  What do they miss the most?  Foods?  Laziness?  Here’s what they had to say:


Mikey

KANT

I miss the sense of abandon I had before this all started. When I felt like getting dessert, I got dessert. Now…when I eat anything at all I have a philosophical argument with myself that would make Kant proud. The upside could be the successful publication of my treatise called the Metaphysics of Eating.


Mr. Sombrero

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I wish I was able to stick to the healthy stuff. All the stress eating, which sometimes I’m not aware it’s even taking place until I’m done, is not helping. What I miss is having time to exercise… and being lazy.


Nathan

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This month, I’ve done an excellent job of not eating any fast food. I might not have been perfect so far, but that’s something!


Polt

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So, after a month of dieting, I have to list what I miss the most. hmm, how about losing weight? I do miss doing that, since I’m not losing any. Course, if I actually tried to diet and exercise more, that may not be an issue. Nah, let me think…what do I miss most? How about my $5. God knows, the way I’m going, I’m never gonna see that money again.


Tam

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I miss mindlessly stuffing my trap without thinking about, just rating what I want because I want it. More or less. However of um going to win this damn contest I need to step up my game.


TwoPi

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I found one last candy cane this morning, stashed in a coat pocket. I saved it… and devoured it on the drive home from work. Now that they’re gone I miss them, even if they were spearmint instead of peppermint. And more generally, I miss the holidays, the weeks of planning for festive meals filled with family, fun, and comfort foods. But hey, Valentine’s Day is coming up, and our tradition is no gifts but a really nice dinner cooked at home. So that’s something to look forward to!


Adam

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I miss NOT feeling guilty before I eat cookies. And I also miss the cookie that I just ate. I want another one!


Michelle M.

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What do I miss the most? Well, since I haven’t started dieting or exercising, I would have to say, nothing :(.


Stuff I actually dream about

In my last post I talked about the things I like to daydream about.
But what do I dream about when I’m fast asleep? Let’s find out…

Monday I dreamed that Jessica Simpson was coming out with a line of butter candies. The flavors she had were: buttered toast, buttered popcorn, hot buttered rum and baked potato with butter. She needed my help to come up with the 5th flavor. I suggested buttered waffles.

Tuesday I dreamed that I worked at the Mad Men offices. I was going through everyone’s files to find out what their salaries were. I’m sneaky that way.

Wednesday I dreamed that I was hanging out with Lynda Carter/Wonder Woman. She was really impressed that I had a gold ring with three purple stones (I do not really have a gold ring with three purple stones).

Thursday I dreamed that I was a consumer reporter analyzing pool rafts.

Friday I dreamed that I couldn’t open my high school locker. It seemed I spent all night trying to open my combination lock. I hate those kinds of dreams. (In high school my locker combination was 10-16-38).

Saturday I dreamed that I was in charge of refreshments for the Honey Boo Boo airshow (she would jump out of an airplane and fly to the ground). I couldn’t find a dozen doughnuts, cupcakes or cookies, so I had to mix and match. It was very frustrating.

On Sunday I dreamed that I went to a party thrown by Kathy Griffin. I par-tayed until the wee hours. The next day Liam Neeson was mad at me for keeping his little boy out all night long. I guess I was supposed to be babysitting him – oops.

So what does any of this mean? Who cares. At least I didn’t dream that my teeth were falling out or that I had a mouth full of gum. My favorite dreams are flying dreams – but I rarely have those. What are some of the weird dreams you have? Let me know in comments!


Fat Betty in “How Many Things Can Betty Jam Into Her Mouth?”











Stuff I daydream about.

Life is harsh. Sometimes the best thing to do is slip into a nice daydream. Here’s just some of the stuff I like to imagine while I’m stargazing, woolgathering or just plain avoiding reality.

My most frequent daydream is of winning the mega millions lottery.
But The Publisher’s Clearing House prize would do just fine. I’m not picky.

After I win my millions, Harry and I will travel. Some of the places I fantasize about going to are Fiji (or any tropical island, really), Santorini, Austria, Australia, The U.K., Copenhagen and Belgium (I hear they make a good french fry…).

I like to pretend that I’m a ballerina. And not just a ballerina, but a prima ballerina assoluta.

I also like to daydream that I’m a singer/songwriter with a multi-octave range.
Here I am performing at one of my sold out concerts.

One of my favorite sports is figure skating. I like to imagine what music I would skate to, what costumes I would wear and what it would feel like to win an Olympic gold medal (in my head I have also won the gold in equestrian events, diving, skiing and gymnastics).

Have you heard? I’m (supposed to be) writing a novel. Of course, I like to think it will be a #1 best selling book. It will, of course, be optioned for a movie. And I’ll have so much fun traveling around the country staying in 5 star hotels and doing book signings. Make sure you come out to see me when I come to a bookstore near you!

Naturally I’ll win a best screenplay Oscar when I adapt my book for film. I’ll receive a standing ovation for my humble and humorous, yet touching acceptance speech.

Once I win the Oscar, maybe they’ll give me a whack at writing that Wonder Woman movie I’ve been waiting for…

All my daydreams aren’t frivolous, though. Sometimes I pretend that I’ve come up with the cure for cancer, paralysis or any other number of illnesses/diseases. The Nobel prize, Time cover for Person of the Year, money and accolades will all be secondary to the knowledge that I am helping the human race.

Some of my daydreams are actually attainable. I often wish that my house was sparkling clean, my laundry and ironing is all done, the cupboards and refrigerator are filled with food, and I’m at my goal weight. Then I can completely relax while watching movies and reading a stack of books guilt-free.

So what do you like to daydream about? Flying to the moon? Scoring the game winning touchdown? Being the homecoming queen? Stealing Mr. Sombrero away from Adam? Let me know in comments!


A few of my favorite things

What do raindrops on roses, all edges brownie pans, schnitzel with noodles and apple bottom jeans have in common? They are not my favorite things (sorry Oprah and Maria von Trapp). I like other stuff. Here are a few of my favorite things:

My Le Crueset pitcher in Caribbean Blue. I just love the color. I got it so I can make iced tea (pouring the hot water in won’t crack it). I don’t like tea, and try as I might, cannot acquire a taste for it. But having this pitcher is an incentive to drink healthy, good for you, yucky tasting tea.

Nothing says “class” like plastic wine glasses (I also have plastic champagne glasses). We do have the crystal stuff, but who wants to hand wash a glass after enjoying their Beringer‘s zinfandel? The answer is: Not me.

Our TV trays – we use them ALL the time. Why eat at the dinner table when you can cram your face with food in front of the TV? Conversation is overrated anyway.

Butt warmers. Almost makes it worth driving a station wagon (it’s Harry’s – I will not cop to owning a station wagon).

Speaking of warm buns – croissants! Mmmm. Buttery, flaky and low calorie! Well, I’ll have to settle for two out of three.

Jasmine – this isn’t our jasmine. Ours isn’t quite as lush. But it’s blooming and smells heavenly.

Know what else smells good? Me! Because I use Elizabeth Arden‘s Green Tea perfume. It doesn’t smell like green tea, though, more like peppery lime.

Parcheesi! I love this game. Even though I haven’t played it in a million years, it’s still a favorite. Doubles, blockades, sending someone home – so much fun!

I love notebooks. I like the promise a brand new notebook holds. Maybe I’ll scribble down ideas for a post, make out a grocery list or start writing that million dollar novel – especially now that I’m participating in Craig’s Six Figure Summer (maybe he should make that Seven Figure Summer…).

See’s Milk Bordeaux candies. Did you know that See’s calls the sprinkles “chocolate rice”? You do now. Thank goodness they’re so rich or I’d be giving Fat Betty some competition.

So this is what I think of when the dog bites or the bee stings. And if you look under your chair, you will find… nothing! You get nothing! And you get nothing. Everybody gets nothing!

So what are some of your favorite things? Let me know in comments!

Adam Grrrrrrrr’s Too!

Stuff annoys me too.  Enjoy!

There’s not much that can distract me from Julia Roberts‘ giant mouth. One thing that can? Lily Collins‘ giant eyebrows in Mirror, Mirror.

I hate when people write the word that you’re trying to guess in Draw Something!!

And why the hell does it take so long for my Android Phone to load Draw Something? And why can’t I have the flashy loading screen that iPhone users get to see?

People at work that don’t know how to do their own job, and expect me to cover for them.

Movies like Tower Heist that pretend to be comedies. I DIDN’T LAUGH ONCE.

When I’m in a store and I can’t figure out how much something costs. Label the damn shelf!

Gas is so expensive! Grumble, grumble, grumble!!

People who don’t recycle!

Other things that bug me: People who throw trash on the floor of public restrooms, the fact that no matter how much I diet and exercise I can’t seem to lose any weight, I didn’t create (and then sell) Instagram, and people who won’t buy the stuff I’m selling on eBay.

Call me a whiny baby in the comments!