This is a wooden plaque that Craig mailed to Mr. Sombrero (MY BOYFRIEND).
So my question to you is: What should I do with it?
Last week I listed 20 television characters I love. That means this week it’s time to list 20 characters I hate. And not “love to hate” like Pete Campbell from Mad Men or Ben from Lost. These are characters that I find annoying, lame, whiny, stupid or all of the above. It may be the way the actors are portraying them, or just the way the characters are written. Or maybe it’s the actor himself/herself. Whatever it is, they’re obnoxious and unwatchable.
Annie Romano from One Day At A Time. Overact much? YES!
Phil from Modern Family. He’s way too clownish and dopey.
Debra Messing as Grace and Molly and Julia and any other character she’s played. She is truly awful. She just seems so self aware. Another overactor.
Ivy from 90210. She’s so flat, mopey and morose. ALL the time.
Ross from Friends. What a drip.
Elmo. It’s the voice. It’s like nails on a chalkboard.
Angela Chase from My So Called Life. The angst, the awkwardness, the hair tucking behind the ear, the flannel shirts, the always hugging herself and saying “like” every other word. And how many Jordans are in your school anyway? Can’t you refer to Jordan by his first name only?
Clare Edwards from Degrassi. I’m not sure why I can’t stand Clare. Maybe it’s because she’s a drama queen. Or that she looks like a middle-aged woman in those awful school uniforms. I just know she bugs me.
Kramer from Seinfeld (sorry, Tam). Too weird, too slapsticky. Not my cup of tea.
Jennifer Love Hewitt as anyone in anything. It all started with her character on Party of Five. All that “cutesy” acting and the going around with her sleeves pulled over her hands drove me nuts. Cleavage + acting cutesy = bad actress!
Will Schuester on Glee. He’s so smarmy. And waaaay too into the Glee kids. I might hate him more than Sue Sylvester does.
Hope on Thirtysomething. Never happy. What a wet blanket.
Annie Camden from 7th Heaven. She always seemed so annoyed and kind of bitchy- with a little bit of Church lady thrown in for good measure.
Ally McBeal. Ugh. I couldn’t even make it through one episode.
Susan from Desperate Housewives. I detest her “adorable klutzy” schtick.
Dawn Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Whiny, petulant and useless.
Smurfette. That voice. I can’t smurfing stand it.
Ellis from Smash. He’s such a sneaky little weasel. And not in a fun way.
Declan Porter from Reven8e. His hair is way too big for his body. I call him the human Q-tip. He’s useless as far as I’m concerned. Every time he appears I want to shake my fist at the television (you called it, Craig).
Lori from The Walking Dead. She thinks all the women should be cookin’ and doing laundry – not kicking zombie butt. And she can’t even keep track of her own kid. Or drive!
So which characters make you want to throw something at the screen? Let me know in comments!
Here’s some (more) stuff that annoys me. Enjoy.
Nadia from Bitchin’ Kitchen. Why does she have to talk like that? That exaggerated accent is ridiculous.
The guy from the Beastie Boys. That whiny thing he does with his voice is like nails on a chalkboard.
Recaps of shows on the show itself. I don’t need a review of what I’ve already seen when we get back from the commercial break. I’m looking at you House Hunters.
People who don’t say thank you when I open the door for them. Maybe next time this happens I’ll scream, “YOU’RE WELCOME!!!” at them.
Contestants who hold their signal device incorrectly on Jeopardy (behind their backs, with crossed arms, pushing their button with their index fingers). They should all take lessons from my favorite Jeopardy contestant of all time: Ty Cone.
And the bleached eyebrows. Enough already.
Debra Messing‘s character on Smash. There is nothing sympathetic about her to me. She is unpleasant and whiny and she cheated on her husband. Am I supposed to root for her? Yuck. I hope she falls down an elevator shaft.
WordPress. It hides half my comment (if it even lets me make one). And that’s if I can even log in. Will I be Michelle M. or melliots? Who knows?!
Why can’t I just buy a six pack of soda at the grocery store? I wanted to but some Hansen’s mandarin lime soda to add in with my beloved Berenger’s zinfandel, but all I could find was cases of the stuff. I don’t need that much soda! I am on a diet!!
Other things that bug me: ads before YouTube videos, accidentally deleting my post and buying the wrong kind (sugar free) of Fudgsicles.
So what’s been getting your dander up? Le me know in comments.
This past week I have been sick, sick, sick. I haven’t been this sick since I taught preschool (where I got sick on a weekly basis). The sickness started with chills, fatigue and nausea and a fever. Then the coughing started. So I went to the store, got some cold medicine, came home and conked out. Being sick stinks. Sure, you get to stay home and laze around, but you can’t really enjoy it if you’re coughing up a lung. There are some things that make it bearable, though. Here are a few of mine:
Canada Dry Ginger ale with ice (or 7up in a pinch, but not Schweppes, that stuff is nasty)
Orange Popsicles (the ones made with real juice)
Granny Smith apple slices
my hot water bottle
Homemade chicken noodle soup
A stack of library books
Honey Lemon cough drops (cherry is disgusting)
I don’t have one of these, but it would certainly come in handy…
And a little TLC
Those are some of the things that make me feel better when I’m under the weather. What makes you feel better when you’re sick? Would you rather have someone take care of you, or do you like to be left alone? Let me know in comments!
C&R’s last crowdsourced Friday Five was such a hit that I’ve decided to do it again. Here’s your Friday Five!
From Polt: What did I love about this week? Freshly laundered bedsheets, still warm from the dryer. Slapping these little slices of heaven right on the bed and then sliding between them, rolling onto your side, pulling the sheet up to your nose and making yourself a little cocoon of warm, comfy, lavender-scented awesomeness is one of life’s greatest pleasures! Next to a night with three Asians with hairthings spent on those sheets. Yeah, that would be better.
From Tam: My new favourite thing is PC Caramelized Red Onion Chutney. At our house we hate mustard and we hate mayonnaise, so sometimes sandwiches are a little dry, but since I discovered this product … *swoon*. The description: With a fusion of English-style malt vinegar and Italian balsamic vinegar of Modena, along with brown sugar, herbs, spices, and slow-cooked caramelized onions, our zesty chutney adds a dash of vibrancy to your dishes. Imported from United Kingdom. Doesn’t that sound yummy? I guess the imported thing explains the price, a bit steep, but worth every cent to liven up my sandwich. I see they use butter in it so it’s not vegan. Sorry Adam.
From Craig: M&Ms – Growing up in my parents house, Mom always kept bowls of red and green M&Ms scattered around the house around Christmas. (For our Canadian readers, M&Ms are like your Smarties but a million and a half times better.) I carried the tradition over to my new place for my first Christmas on my own and it was fantastic. Easy access to M&Ms at all times with no one but myself to eat them? Yes please! Even after the Christmas season ended, and all the red and green M&Ms had made their way through my toilet and into your drinking water, I’ve kept the tradition alive by keeping original M&Ms on my coffee table at all times. Not only are they extremely delicious, but they add a splash of color to my drab earth toney living room!
From Mikey: So there was this thing called the Super Bowl on Sunday. You might have heard of it. Well anyway, before the game aired NBC ran a commercial/promo wishing everyone a Happy Super Bowl. Sure this sounds like typical network TV fare for the most watched event of the year. What made this one amazing was the fact that someone (most likely Tina Fey) got a bunch of the stars of NBC’s shows together to sing and dance to “Brotherhood of Man” from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. The result…magic. And GAY magic, which only happens during Madonna Super Bowls.
From Michelle M.: A federal appeals court ruled against California’s voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage (Prop 8) on Tuesday. Finally.
This week’s runners up: the state of Washington, The premier of Smash, slow cookers, painting bottles, Dance Moms (last weeks competition took place at East Islip High School!), Happy Endings, Archie Panjabi, The River, cat breading and hardcore gay pornography.