Tag Archives: ride

Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Ryan Wins!

This is it!  The final week is complete!  Today we reveal the winner of Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3, the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh!  But before we make it official and name Ryan as the winner, let’s check in with our contestants one final time and find out how they’re doing.  How do they feel about the contest?  Are they proud or disappointed?  Would they do it again?  Here’s what they had to say, in order of Rudest Loser to Biggest Cock:


MR. SOMBRERO: 8th Place, RUDEST LOSER!
It’s been quite a ride. I’m nowhere near the goal I set for myself but I did manage to lose few tiny pounds of blubber. I think I would be better at it if I didn’t have to write all these weekly updates 8-/ (was that the right emoticon for rolling eyes? Anywho, I will continue ‘participating’ even after this contest is done so maybe by the next round I’ll be more disciplined. And now, if you’ll excuse me, imma go celebrate with señor Cuervo.


POLT: 7th Place!
So this is then, the Final Week. Comparing this with my first photo, you can see I lost the weight, but kept all the skin. *SIGH* What did I think of the contest? Same as the others, although it was fun to check each week and see how everybody else was doing. Would I do it again? Sure why not? I’ve been in all three of them so far, right? Why not a fourth, if there is one? And how did I do? Well, I didn’t lose as much weight as I wanted, but then again, weight loss has always been a secondary goal. I’m on the diet to get my blood sugar under control, per the doctor. And I won’t know how successful I was at that until the middle of June when I get my blood work results. But at any rate, it was fun, congrats to everyone who did better than me (which I presume is everyone else), and I’ll see ya all again in the fourth contest (if there IS one).


ADAM: 6th Place!
I managed to lose of bit of weight during the course of BC&RL3, but overall I’m fairly disappointed with myself. I had hoped to jump start a significant weight loss and that didn’t happen … yet. Losing weight is a constant battle and I really just need to get my head in the game. Am I proud of myself? Yes! Somebody’s gotta be proud of me! ((self hug)) Would I do it again? OF COURSE! (It’s my website, I don’t have a choice!) Love to you all and congrats to Ryan!!


TWOPI: 5th Place!
I’m submitting the same photo that I started this competition with, as I feel like I’m just getting started on my diet, WWO-style. I’m pleased that I managed some modest weight loss in BC&RL3, but I need more dramatic changes to get to where I want to be.


TAM: 4th Place!
Well, overall I’m disappointed in my result. I know it’s mostly because I didn’t exercise but it did make me more conscious of what’s going into my mouth, not a bad thing and it’s nice to know I’m not the only slack ass out there who can’t stick to a diet. Yay for the lazy dieters club. I intend on keeping up the efforts and keep trying. Maybe I’ll even put more effort in. Or not. I’m not sure but I’m going to not be so oblivious as I go forward, so thanks for that C&R, it’s been fun, sort of.


MICHELLE M.: 3rd Place!
I’m sad the contest is over. Because I’m only about halfway to my goal weight – I went from being a hippo to a pig. But I’m proud of myself because I lost 7 pounds. It’s hard for me to lose weight now that I’m older, so I’ll take what I can get. Too bad I didn’t work out… But I’m going to keep on keepin’ on until I lose the rest of the weight. I don’t want to have to participate in BC&RL 4 next year!


MIKEY: 2nd Place!
Am I proud of myself? YES! I lost more weight in this round of BC&RL than I did in the previous rounds. Also, I’m eating healthier and going to continue to lose weight even now that this stupid thing is over. I will celebrate by commencing operation starvation. Will I do the contest again? YES. Especially if I can end up winning like he was formerly in cupcake form.


RYAN: 1st Place, BIGGEST COCK!!!
I am happy to have lost some more weight, but I’m a little disappointed that I wasn’t as disciplined as last time. At least I’m no longer embarrassed to take off my shirt.


And now the results:

CONGRATULATIONS RYAN!!!
YOU ARE THE BIGGEST COCK!!!
…AND You Won Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!


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My week.

Monday
Harry had hockey, so Cooper and I watched The Muppets. My favorite muppet is Floyd. He’s so cool and laid back – the opposite of me! Cooper’s favorite muppet was the little girl giving Walter the side-eye. Cooper is also a big Chris Cooper fan.

Did I have a soda, candy and popcorn while watching the movie? No. I had celery sticks, apple sauce and water.

Tuesday
I checked in on the roses. After finally getting rid of whatever was eating holes in the leaves, our five rose bushes came down with powdery mildew. And just when they were looking so healthy and lush and were starting to bloom. I had to cut them all back. Boo.

I did my ironing. I hate ironing. Here is a shirt that is supposed to be “no iron”. Grrrr.

Wednesday
Wednesday we got in the car and headed to Temecula‘s wine country (about an hour north of us). Last year Harry gave me a horseback ride and wine tasting lunch for my birthday. We finally got around to doing it. My horse’s name was Rusty and Harry’s was Quincy. It was super hot, and my horse kept fighting me to be in front of the guide, but it was fun!

After our ride we went to Wilson Creek Winery for our wine tasting. Woo hoo!

Then we had lunch. The restaurant was outdoors. They had misters which was lovely on such a hot day. The rolls had cheese on them (yuck), but the crackers were pretty good. I had a (steak) salad.

Thursday
Thursday was the last day of my painting class. Some of the students brought in snacks. One of them brought chocolate cupcakes. I took one because it would have been rude of me to refuse.

Here is the painting I’ve been working on. It’s Franz Marc‘s Red Horses. It’s a little off because the dimensions of my canvas are different from the original. And I still have a lot yet to do. I’m the queen of unfinished projects, but hopefully I’ll keep working on it.

Friday
After dinner at a Mexican restaurant with friends (I had 2 daiquiris, peach and strawberry), Harry and I decided to go to the local dive bar to drink some more. He had beer and some kind of cinnamon shot thing. I had 2 rum and cokes. They have a neat jukebox with bajillions of songs.

We killed zombies, played air hockey (Harry won) and pool (Harry won – maybe it’s because I played this way…).

Saturday
We went to our local farmer’s market. We got some fresh, organic California strawberries.

Then we took the car in to Pep Boys because the air conditioner broke. This would be their second go round trying to fix it (this isn’t our first experience having to bring the car back for a re-repair). After we got there they told us to bring it back another day (after just telling us on the phone to bring it in). After we get it fixed we shall never, ever return. Manny, Mo and Jack can suck it.

We decided to have lunch in Hillcrest. We went to Freebirds World Burrito. It’s kinda like Chipotle, but with more options. Check out my huge burrito:

We sat outside and guess what music was playing? “Black Betty”. I kid you not. Also, I totally didn’t have a brownie or cookie. Willpower!

On the way home we saw this bar. It reminded me of Adam.

Sunday
I didn’t do much. I can’t find my brand of shampoo anywhere anymore, so I used this brand for the first time. It smells like flowers and fruit salad.

I also read, played on the computer and watched tv. Then I worked on Cooper’s exciting post for Monday.
Check out Cooper’s Corner for a very important announcement: http://cooperscorner.info/

So how was your weekend? And who is your favorite muppet? Let me know in comments!

The Twelve Days of Whatever

On the first day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the second day of Whatever, my true love gave to me –
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.



On the third day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – three more polls,
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – four Mikeys licking, three more polls,
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the sixth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses…
four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the seventh day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – seven schlongs a swingin’,
six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls,
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the eighth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Eight Tams a riding,
seven schlongs a swingin’, six poos a ploppin, five naked asses…
four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the ninth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Nine commenters commenting,
eight Tams a riding, seven schlongs a swingin’, six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses…
four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the tenth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Ten armless Adams,
nine commenters commenting, eight Tams a riding, seven schlongs a swingin’,
six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls,
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the eleventh day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Eleven pissy puddles, ten armless Adams, nine commenter commenting, eight Tams a riding, seven schlongs a swingin’, six poos a ploppin’,
five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes
and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the twelfth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Twelve boxers boxing, eleven pissy puddles, ten armless Adams, nine commenters commenting, eight Tams a riding, seven schlongs a swingin’,
six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes
and a parakeet in a pear tree.

Happy holidays to my C&R family!

The Cocky Chronicles 1.07

Episode 1.01 | Episode 1.02 | Episode 1.03 | Episode 1.04 | Episode 1.05 | Episode 1.06

Those Were The Good Old Days…

Every day when I was young (and wasn’t at school) we’d eat lunch at 11am.

We’d watch The Price Is Right.

It was glorious!  But then at 12:30, my mother would force my brother and I to go outside and play!

We’d bitch and complain.  Sometimes we’d cry.  Being outside was awful!  There were no television outside!
No video games! But my mother would ignore us.  Cuz it was time for “her show” (Days of our Lives).

Once we were resigned to the fact that we’d be stuck outside until 2:00,
we would do a variety of things to pass the time.

Sometimes we’d hang out in my tree house.  Please note that my tree house was way crappier than this one.

Sometimes we’d play in the stream behind our house.

Sometimes we’d ride big wheels down hill in our backyard and try to avoid all the trees.

Sometimes we’d build forts in the woods.

Sometime we’d beat each other with sticks until one of us cried,
and then spend the rest of the time begging the crier not to tattle.

Sometimes we’d shoot arrows straight up into the air and run away
as fast as we could before it fell back to Earth and stabbed one of us to death.

But most of the time, we’d just get filthy and wet.  Then at 2:00, my mom would yell at us and make us
take baths before we resumed our indoor afternoon of television and video games.

Awww those were the good old days.  Then I got old and everything went to shit.

Tell me one of your childhood memories in the comments!

Have You Ever … On An Airplane?!

How are you celebrating National Aviation Week (August 15th – August 21st)? How about you buy me a plane ticket to somewhere exotic? You could include some spending money, plus a nice hotel room and all sorts of delicious gourmet vegan meals. Thanks!

But before I get too ahead of myself … let’s find out what you’ve done on an airplane. The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your

points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever ridden on an airplane?
2. Have you ever flown first class on an airplane?
3. Have you ever sneaked into first class on an airplane?
4. Have you ever been inside the cockpit on an airplane?
5. Have you ever piloted an airplane?
6. Have you ever flown over an ocean on an airplane?
7. Have you ever watched a movie on an airplane?
8. Have you ever consumed a meal on an airplane?
9. Have you ever gotten drunk on an airplane?
10. Have you ever thrown up on an airplane?
11. Have you ever fallen asleep on an airplane?
12. Have you ever had another passenger fall asleep on your shoulder?
13. Have you ever gone to the bathroom on an airplane?
14. Have you ever farted loudly on an airplane?
15. Have you ever been uncomfortable when an overweight passenger ‘overflowed’ into your seat?
16. Have you ever been driven crazy by a crying baby on an airplane?
17. Have you ever made a commotion on an airplane because you were afraid of flying?
18. Have you ever yelled at another passenger on an airplane?
19. Have you ever yelled at a flight attendant on an airplane?
20. Have you ever gotten in trouble on an airplane?
21. Have you ever flirted with a stranger on an airplane?
22. Have you ever had sex with someone you know on an airplane?
23. Have you ever had sex with a stranger on an airplane?
24. Have you ever been on an airplane that was overrun with snakes?
25. Have you ever been on an airplane that crashed?

In the comments, tell us your point total and (approximately) how many times that you’ve flown in your lifetime.

10 Reasons Why Polt’s Toilet Seat Keeps Breaking

Yesterday on Twitter, Polt gave us a quick peek into the Palace‘s bathroom:


A weird tradition?  Not so much.
There are perfectly good reasons that Polt keeps breaking his toilet seats.
10 perfectly good reasons, in fact…

1. He didn’t win Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 1 or 2.


2. He needs to start using a ladder when he pees on Asian twinks while they are
pooping into a toilet, instead of standing on the rim.


3. That purple glittery toilet seat that he bought was just for show —
not designed for actual use.


4. Toilet seats are not designed to be hung from the ceiling, over a bed.


5. The bad economy is even effecting the Palace, where they’ve had to
switch to generic brand toilet seats.


6. Being a power bottom can really mess up your shitter.


7. They don’t make outhouses like they used to.


8. It was Taco Bell night at the Palace … explosions ensued.


9. Superman Sundays got a little out of control.

And Finally…

10.Polt got a little too excited while giving a [toilet] rim job.


Thank you Craig, for your help with this post.