Tag Archives: plan

Biggest C&R Loser 2013

Biggest_CR_Loser_2013

Welcome to the 6th week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40!  This week’s theme is “MEAL PLAN” – each contestant will show you a meal that they’re particularly proud of. Do they eat this healthy at every meal, or is it a rarity? Who knows! Here’s what they had to say:


Mr. Sombrero

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This organic vegan place down the street has these awesome smoothies. This one is called “green power”. Ingredients are: pear, banana, almond butter, soy milk aaaaaand [drum role please] kale!!! It’s tastes really good, despite the fact that it looks like swamp water. I had it for breakfast couple of times this week and it’s a nice change from standards like oatmeal, yogurt or nothing.


Nathan

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I mentioned the banana smoothies I have in the morning before, but I came to the sad, pathetic realization that I’ve done very little cooking from scratch (except pasta, which isn’t very diet-y) While living in residence at teacher’s college. So I guess I have to stick with a paltry smoothie offering for this round.


Polt

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It’s a salad from a local buffet and a Diet Coke. And that’s healthy, right? The only problem is, this photo is from a few years ago. But I DO try to eat salads and healthy foods, more often than not. Well sometimes. Well, I WANT to eat healthier at times, at least. That counts, right?


Tam

meal Tam

As a rule we eat pretty healthy. Most dinners are protein, vegetable, starch, lunches are usually sandwiches of some kind. We rarely have dessert but it varies from fruit to pudding to ice-cream if we have some in the freezer. I forgot I had to take a picture, so I found pictures of dinner I made Monday evening. Bulgar pilaf, pork loin, green beans and I confess I may have snuck a cruller that day, but that is the first donut I’ve had in… months.


TwoPi

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Most of my progress evaporated on Super Bowl Sunday, with its horrid temptations of beer and chili and chips and … and… (and that incredibly delicious buffalo chicken dip that Craig blogged about in 2008, back when Craig blogged.) But this week’s another week, and another opportunity to start eating right and exercising. (Bwahahaha!) Anyways, a fairly frequent meal in our house is a chicken and veggie stir fry. Lately I’ve been increasing the ratio of veggies to chicken, and cutting back on the Thai fish sauce to minimize sodium. It still tastes awesome, is easy to make, and my kids are even willing to eat a little bit of it.


Adam

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I’m so proud of the meal in this photo! It’s what I eat every day for breakfast … nothing! People say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but they can go fuck themselves. Plus the calories that I don’t eat for breakfast can be used later in the day (and I feel less guilty when I eat 10,000 cookies per day).


Michelle M.

bcrlf

This meal consists of: vegetarian lentil stew (yummy!), a garden salad (with no fat Italian dressing) and a wheat roll. We had this the other night. I didn’t take a photo, but this is approximately what it looked like. Absent is the butter I put on my roll :(. The meals I cook are healthy. It’s the fact that I snack (chocolate and chips), eat late at night and don’t exercise that gets me in trouble. If I could cut all of that out, I’d be golden!


Mikey

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This is not the single healthiest meal I’ve eaten all week. I haven’t eaten very healthy at all this week. I took hot dogs, covered them with Jack Cheese and wrapped it in a pizza in honor of 30 Rock‘s finale. I stand by my choice.


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Biggest C&R Loser 2013

Biggest_CR_Loser_2013

Welcome to the first week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40!  But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s meet this year’s contestants and find out their motivation for participating:


Adam

Adam
I need to drop some weight before I require a Jazzy Power Scooter. And it’s get’n close.


Michelle M.

MichelleM
I am participating because my ass has recently acquired its own moon. I hope to drop at least 10 pounds.


Mikey

Mikey_bigbones
Why am I doing this? Since losing weight for my wedding…I am very fat. It sucks. My goal is to be lose between 20-35 pounds. It can be done.


Mr. Sombrero

MrSombrero
This year I plan on kicking all your asses and losing a crap-load of weight! Woohoo!


Nathan

Nathan
I’ve included a photo of me looking as rotund as possible so that no matter what, my end photo will look way better. It’s all about setting the bar low. Alright, well, I’ve decided to join the competition this year since it’s part of my New Year’s plans anyways, so now I should at least feel some pressure from my throngs of Internet fans. I hope to shed a few pounds this year so that I won’t have to buy new clothes (which I will have to do if I gain any more weight).


Polt

Polt
So, I’m supposed to tell you why I’m doing this and what I hope to accomplish. Okay, I’m doing it because I’ve participated in every one of these things in the past, it’s tradition! I mean, it wouldn’t be a C&R Biggest Loser contest without Polt not winning it, now would it? And what do I hope to accomplish? Well, winning the money would be pretty nifty, but we all know that ain’t gonna happen. I suppose what I hope to accomplish is to not come in last. The photo is one I used a few years ago, and since I’ve not changed much since then, it seems appropriate to use it again.


Tam

Tam
I’m back… again. I don’t think I’ve gained any weight since the last time we tried this, well, I had but I’d lost it again. I was doing pretty well until being home from work every day over Christmas. Having access 24/7 to food is not good. So I’m back on the wagon. My technique this time around? I’m not sure yet. I haven’t thought that far ahead, but I really want to get rid of the stuff I gained back a couple of years ago. Hopefully having to check in here every week will keep me more honest and stop me when I’m tempted to just eat something without thinking. Not that it’s worked in the past, but hey, I can hope.


TwoPi

TwoPi
Here I am again! I felt like I did okay in BC&RL3, where my goal was to steadily lose weight without giving up too much. I was mostly able to keep off the weight I lost last time (at least through mid-November), although I have ballooned a bit over the holidays. So I’m back, this time aiming to alter both diet and exercise routines as best I can. I’m hoping to feel healthier and have more mobility by June.


Advice From The Expert… ASK ADAM!

It seems that people are always pestering me for my expert advice.  Truth be told, I’m awesome at everything.  I know all of the answers.  All you have to do is ask.  That’s why I’m introducing my new advice column: Advice From The Expert… Ask Adam! 


Dear Adam: What should I make for dinner tonight?
Signed, Starving For Supper

How about a nice micro-green salad topped with a simple ginger and garlic-spiked orange glazed tempeh!  Nom!


Dear Adam: I’ve always wanted a boyfriend who was young, cute, and rich. But I only got two out of three. Should I hold out for the full package or should I settle for hot but poor?
Signed, Should I Settle?

How many young, cute and rich guys do you know that aren’t characters on Gossip Girl? Be happy that you landed 2/3 of the perfect man!


Dear Adam: I know you’re not supposed to wear white after Labor Day, but what are you proscribed from wearing after Memorial Day?
Signed, Fashion Backwards

When in doubt … just wear plaid!


Dear Adam: How can I get my husband to clean his bathroom more often?
Signed, Wedded Pissed

Two words: WITHHOLD SEX. It’s the best way to get whatever you want!  That bathroom will be sparkling in no time!


Dear Adam: A couple of vegans moved in across the street. Should I be afraid of their aggressive cult-like ways?
Signed, Confused Carnivore

Trust me, vegans are just like everyone else! … but just to be safe, make sure to lock your doors and windows after dark.


Dear Adam: My younger brother is a great guy but has no self-esteem. His lack of confidence has kept him from doing anything with his life. He’s in a dead end job, hasn’t had a relationship in years, and his circle of friends has dwindles more and more each year. I want to encourage him, but he refuses to discuss his plans or goals with anyone. I just want him to be happy, but he clearly is not. What should I do?
Signed, Sibling Misery

Don’t worry, he’ll grow up eventually. Can I have his number?


Dear Adam: What the hell should I do with my life?
Signed, Miss Direction

Become a prostitute! Prostitutes make TONS of money!  You’ll be rich in not time at all!


Have a question for Adam? Email him today!

Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 2

Our first week is complete!  Today our contestants celebrate one week into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh!  It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

Everything is easier if there’s a goal & prize in place.  This week, the contestants were invited to tell us what they will do to reward themselves when they attain their weight-loss goals.  Here’s what they said:



TwoPi
My mid-range goal is to lose 10% and be able to maintain that weight loss. I’m hoping to feel healthier, have better flexibility, and be able to see my doctor without having her recommend yet another fad diet. Most importantly, I don’t want to have to buy new clothes in larger sizes than what I currently wear. So I guess the prize I’m working toward is keeping my current wardrobe intact!



Mikey
My goal is to look hotter than this bitch on my wedding day.  I know that’s  tall order, but everyone knows I’m a bigger queen than she will ever be.  I’m on my way there, too!  Despite four events for Ty’s birthday (including one with a 24 course meal), I managed to lose weight this week.  I’m attributing it to the flop sweat that broke out due to my extreme anxiety during planning the parties!



Mr. Sombrero
My goal is to lose 11% in this round so I can fit into my old pantalones again.



Michelle M.
Like Tam, My goal is to fit back into my jeans. I have been wearing the same pair (or sweats) for I don’t know how long. I refuse to buy more in a bigger size when I have plenty of good ones in my closet.



Tam
Hmmm. I thought about goals. New clothes? Well, that could be a necessity. Books? Ha! That’s a given. So I decided for every 10 lbs I lose I shall buy myself a lovely bouquet of flowers to remind me of what I’ve achieved. And how many bouquets do I get this week? Blerg. Thanks to traveling and eating out and receptions and booze and pastries … NADA. But I’m home next week where I can get back on the wagon, really. I think I will print out a nice flower pic and paste it to my fridge when I get home. Maybe it will help. One can only hope.


Adam
When I attain my weight-loss goal, I’m going to get a tattoo. Not as extreme as that guy … just something small on my right forearm. I’ve always wanted a tattoo, and this motivation is as good as any finally man-up and get it. Oh, and maybe I’ll go back to being a vegetarian. I’ll reward myself with tattoos and cheese!  But not a tattoo of cheese.



Ryan
Whenever I reach a weight milestone, I’m rewarding myself with music. It both motivates me to stay on course with my diet and exercise and makes sure that I put thought into what music I buy. I’ve shown a few options in my photo. PS – I’m pretty sure most of this week’s weight loss was the release of excess water and glycogen from my liver that built up from the conference the weekend before we started.



Polt
So I’m supposed to talk about my “Personal Goal Prize”. Hmm, well when I win the competition, I will have lost enough weight and firmed up enough to be able to wear one of these babies! I’m not sure WHERE I’d wear it, but that’s beside the point, cause looking like that, I’m sure I’ll find no shortage of places that would WANT me to wear it! And I do hope the pouch comes in various sizes, cause I’m gonna need a bigger pouch.


And now, the week’s results:


Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our nine contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

The Cocky Chronicles 1.10

Episode 1.01 | Episode 1.02 | Episode 1.03 | Episode 1.04 | Episode 1.05
Episode 1.06 | Episode 1.07 | Episode 1.08 | Episode 1.09

For more adventures of Super Viagra & Vagina Girl, go to Puntabulous.com