Don’t you just hate it when a product you love is discontinued? I do! Here are just a few of my favorite things that no longer exist.
Bath Products: Listerex Herbal Facial Scrub kept my face nice and clear and Bonne Bell Shower 2000 (the green kind) smelled soooo good). I sure miss Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific! shampoo. It really did make my hair smell terrific.
Snack Foods: Chipsters and Korkers, Dixie Snack crackers (they were shaped liked little drumsticks), Dip in a Chip crackers and Flaky Flix cookies. Mrs. Field’s cookie stores are no longer around (in San Diego – and the Mrs. Field’s grocery store cookies just aren’t the same). And neither are the Pretzel Time stores – my favorite of the mall pretzel stores. Boo!
and Candy: I mentioned before how much I liked the now extinct Choco Lite bar. I also miss the Marathon Bar. And why doesn’t See’s Candies make the peanut butter lolly pop anymore? They said it’s due to peanut allergies, but their other candies contain peanuts. Whatever, See’s.
Entrees: I’m not an adventurous eater. When I go to a restaurant, I usually get the same thing. Hey, I know what I like! So imagine my dismay when my go-to meal has disappeared from the menu.
The Thai chicken wrap at Mimi’s Cafe.
The steak salad at Rock Bottom.
The chili at Red Robin.
And Harry is mourning the disappearance of the salmon sliders at Sammy’s Woodfire Pizza.
Well, those are just some of the things that I miss. How about you? Are there any products/foods that you will never, ever enjoy again? Let me know in comments!
Our ninth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate nine weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!
As we begin the 10th week of BC&RL3, we check in with each of our contestants with the simple question: How are you feeling? Good? Bad? Indifferent? Anything? Here’s what they had to say…
If one word could encompass how I am feeling, it’s FRUSTRATION. I eat well, I exercise (occasionally) and yet it seems to be increasingly difficult for me to lose weight. WTF! I’m so sick of this … I’m ready to just give up and become one of those blobby people in WALL•E.
I would say I’m feeling optimistic. Even though I seem to have hit a plateau, I’m almost halfway to my goal. And that’s without exercising! My next step is to start moving around so I can drop the rest of the weight before summer begins.
I’m a sad puppy because I haven’t lost nearly as much weight as I would like…and because I’m eating too much crap! I blame stress, work, and Adam. Why can’t we live in a world were foods that make you fat tasted like rotting shark flesh instead of one where they taste sooooooo good.
So this week we’re supposed to discuss how we feel. Me, kinda meh. I’m glad I’m out there walking so much, it makes me feel better physically. I’m a bit disappointed in myself that I don’t stick to the diet regime as strictly as I’d like to be. I’ve me even more disappointed that I can’t seem to overtake Michelle M. and get that purple line on the graph all for myself! I won’t know exactly how good I’ve done, blood sugar wise, until June, but I think I’m doing well. At least I really hope so. But by and large, I’m feeling now with the contest almost over the same way I did before it began: Meh.
I’m feeling pretty good. I ended up walking 22.8 miles on Saturday and didn’t get as sore as I have in the past. I intend to try a full marathon length walk this week. With the extra exercise, I have been slacking about keeping within my calorie budget, so my weight has been flat. Hopefully, I’ll do better with that this week.
WTW?! I can’t believe it’s been 2 months. I’m nowhere near my goal of 10% which bums me out, but that only means that I have only few more weeks to get (half way) there. I am constantly working out and moving, so that’s a very positive thing. And if you’re wondering, this is actually a picture of me working out. Yeah, I’m that furry.
What am I feeling? Fat depressed frustrated pig. Sigh. I have been trying to be good, and nothing is happening. Arrgghh. I really need to get back in the measure and recording groove. This week. Cross my heart. It’s tempting to just say “screw it” and eat an entire cheesecake, but I haven’t gotten there yet, at least I’m not gaining. *eye roll* Ugh.
Classes ended last week, course grades are filed, and I’m essentially free for the next few months to recharge mentally and gear up for fall classes. And my weight is down a bit more, which is nice. So I ought to be able to say I’m feeling great, but instead… meh. Saw my physician yesterday, who looked at my weight (and other medical issues) over the long-term, and recommended I give up caffeine, and insisted I join weight-watchers. Sigh. So today I’m feeling more like disappointed-cat or discouraged-cat. However, I couldn’t find their pictures, so instead here is a photo of ennui-cat.
And now the week’s results:
Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!
Did you hear the news?! Andy Cohen, Bravo’s Executive Vice-President of Original Programming and Development has been FIRED!* My sources say that it was something to do with his smarmy attitude, giant teeth and lazy eye. I guess that people just couldn’t stand him anymore! In his absence, the Bravo Television Network has hired ME to develop a whole new slate of reality programming for the network. And who better to star in my new reality shows, than all my friends? Behold, Bravo’s new season of shows:
Mikey’s Getting Married! – A show that follows Mikey and Jeopardy! Champion Ty as they plan their nuptials. Episodes will focus on each detail of the wedding planning process, including an episode where their Save The Date card goes through 18 revisions before it is ready to send. The first season will culminate with a wedding, and season two will be retitled: Mikey’s Ever After.
Queen of Smut – This show follows the ultimate Queen of Smut, Tam, as she explores the world of M/M Slash Fiction. Tam travels the world to create the ultimate international collection of gay smut fiction, which will be cross-promoted and published by Bravo at the end of the season. Episodes will focus on every detail of the process, including author interviews, cover shoots, behind-the-scenes negotiations and Tam’s drunken exploits in New Orleans.
The Fabulous World of Polt – Polt became a worldwide sensation when he posted a photo of his nude ass online for the world to see. But that’s hardly the (rear) end of his story! Join Polt each week as he explores his fabulous world in search of hookups, obscure Star Trek novels, purple place mats, Superman t-shirts and the ultimate prize: true love.
Michelle Wins Everything – Each week, this game show will feature multiple contestants facing off against Michelle M. in a variety of challenges. The catch? They will never win! Michelle M. is perfect in every way, and will therefore win everything. There’s only one winner in this fantastic new reality game show!
It’s Just Craig – Craig amused us for years with his popular blog, Puntabulous. But then he quit! Is that the end of the story? This new series follows our favorite has-been star, Craig, as he strives to find his new place in the world. Will he return to blogging? Will he live happily ever after with a cardboard cutout of Natalie Portman? You’ll find out in Bravo’s new series: It’s Just Craig.
Mush & Friends – In this blatant rip-off of MTV: Canada & Logo’s hit show, 1 Girl 5 Gays, Bravo’s Mush & Friends is destined to be a hit! Each week, Mush Morgan will sit down with a rotating cast of 5 guests to answer 21 questions about love, life and sex. Panelists expected to appear: Chris D., Enrico, Jere, Jeliot, Josh, Justin, Mel, Mikey, Adam, Polt, Nathan, Justin**, Ryan, VUBOQ, FDot, TwoPi, Ty and M. Nico***!
It’s A Math Math World – TwoPi, Xi_Heather and the rest of their family star in this reality show about their exciting lives in the world of math! Hopefully it’s more exciting than it sounds.
VUBOQ: Vicious Unrepentant Bitter Old Queen – This self-titled series follows VUBOQ as he makes pottery, runs marathons, travels around the country, and has sex with every letter of the alphabet.
Watch What Happens Live with Adam & Michelle – Taking over the reins from the recently terminated Andy Cohen are new co-hosts, Adam and Michelle! Who better to interview all Z-list celebrities than these amazing new Bravo personalities? NO ONE, THAT’S WHO.
Rounding out Bravo’s schedule will be the returning hits: Top Chef, Top Chef: Just Desserts, Flipping Out!, Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis, Kathy (plus celebrity guests, minus the theme song), Tabatha Takes Over, and a brand new season of the previously cancelled series, Work Out. I’m going to cancel all of the Real Housewives shows and everything else because it’s all just crap.
So what do you think? Will I succeed as the new Executive Vice President of Original Programming and Development, or will I fail? What shows will you watch? And what other shows would you love to see? Tell me all about it in the comments!
*This whole post is a lie!
**Who invited him?!
***He probably won’t show up.
Every Friday either Adam or Mikey shares his five favorite things of the week. But why should they have all the fun? Here is my list of what was awesome this week:
1. Anna and Kristina’s Grocery Bag
I discovered this show on OWN (thanks Oprah!). They are showing all 3 seasons and I am currently having an A&K marathon. Anna and Kristina’s Grocery Bag is a cooking show where the hosts review popular cookbooks by cooking some of the recipes within. They also give tips about food and preparation as well as testing ingredients and cooking equipment. At the end of their cooktime they invite a chef over to taste and critique. I love when the chefs taste their food (or just look at it) and crack up. Anna and Kristina make me laugh – I would love to hang out with them. Plus – they’re Canadian*! They often (always) make mistakes (either their own or through the fault of the cookbook). Anyone who’s ever had a disaster in the kitchen can relate.
*Tam, Kristen and Nathan – why didn’t you tell me about this awesome show??
2. Unrecognizable actors
I just watched I Love You Phillip Morris – the movie was amusing (and based on a true story). When watching the credits at the end, I was dumbfounded that the character of Jim Carrey’s lover was played by Ewan McGregor. I didn’t even recognize him! I feel he really disappeared in this role. I don’t see this often (Tom Cruise is always Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson is always Jack Nicholson, Jennifer Aniston – well, you get it). So props to Ewan for being such a great chameleon.
Cherry Caipirissima (from the NYT’s article on simple summer cocktails)
3 cherries, pitted and halved
3/4 oz simple syrup (vuboq used Rose’s Lime Stuff)
2 lime wedges
2 oz of white rum
6 ice cubes
In a cocktail shaker, muddle the cherries and lime wedges with the syrup. Add the rum and ice cubes. Shake like the dickens. And pour into a rocks glass.
*I didn’t have cherries or limes, so I used strawberries and lemons. And I used vodka instead of rum. And I was too lazy to make simple syrup, so I substituted lemonade. It was super delicious! Thanks vuboq!
4. Asian kids!
They sing! They dance! They play musical instruments! They’re adorable and I can’t get enough. And Tam says they’re only $20,000. I better start saving up! (do I get my money back if they can’t sing or dance?) This little cutie is so talented he makes Crocs look good.
Thanks to being a Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser loser, I finally weigh enough to donate blood! Soon, some unfortunate soul will receive an infusion of AWESOME. And maybe now I’ll get into heaven!
This week’s runners up include: The premiere of Project Runway and all the other reality tv I’m watching, and that’s about it. I need a life.
The second week of Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 2 has drawn to a close. Last week we said goodbye to Canadian Bacon; who will we say goodbye to this week? This week we asked each of our contestants to show us and describe the inside of their refrigerators. Here’s what they had to say:
DOCTOR AND THE BUNNYMAN Mel & John
Mel: Since I have to work and won’t be home in time to send a pic of my fridge, I’m sending one of the freezer where we store deceased patients at work. Unfortunately, I’ve been doing this so long that it does nothing to kill my appetite. Fortunately, the week overall has been a good one. My rate of weight loss has slacked a bit, as was expected, but is in a healthy range. I’m in the process of breaking in new custom orthotics and hope to get back to my running training soon. A friend is trying to get me to register for a marathon in July – not sure I’ll be up for that, but I at least want to do another half marathon or two in 2011 (did two this past fall). I’ve been consistently meeting my nutritional goals, eating fewer calories, and not feeling at all deprived or hungry.
John: Food still abounds, but I’ve still managed to make good choices and got some time in to exercise. Riding my bike and doing some push-ups. I hate push-ups, but I hope to be “pec-tacular” when this is done or at the very least, to drop a cup size. I’m down [censored]% this week. As for my (real) fridge, yogurt, bread, rolls, turkey, light mayo, skim milk, grape jam, Swiss cheese and Sprite Zero. Michelle M. will hate at least half of what is in there.
Enrico: This week was hard for me. I would find myself at Mexican restaurants, eating burritos with extra sour cream, completely forgetting about the weight loss challenge! But I did curb my eating habits somewhat… after all, I only ate 45 cookies one night, rather than the usual 60. Either way, this doesn’t really say anything about what’s in my fridge this week, since I hide all the good stuff from my roommates and keep it in my bedroom. But this is what my fridge looks like anyway. MMM.
Craig: Wow. My refrigerator looks ridiculously unhealthy. Look at that giant bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups! And donuts! And mayonnaise! And beer and wine and homemade Bailey’s Irish Cream (that’s that’s in the brown jug up top)! Oh but wait! Not all hope is lost! We drink skim milk! Yay! We’re so healthy!
GINGY & THE HAT Adam & Mr. Sombrero
Adam: Visitors to my apartment are usually surprised by how bare my fridge is. I hate to waste food, so I usually only buy as much as I need for the next few days. Since I cut out the junk food, a significant portion of my (vegan) diet is made up of fruits and vegetables, so I usually have a good stock of apples and oranges on hand. I also have onions, tomatoes, baby carrots, lettuce, frozen veggies, etc. A few condiments, juices, seltzer water, tofu, sandwich thins, and tempeh take up the rest of the space. Boooooring!
Mr. Sombrero: As most of you know, Mr. Sombrero had la gripe for the past week. Veggie soups for breakfast, lunch and dinner – 4 days straight. So I’ve been able to lose the weight without doing any exercise. And I highly recommend it – the more contagious the disease, the more weight you’ll lose. So go ahead – get that flu, diarrhea, malaria (your choice) – and see that belly fat melt away! At least for one week. And here’s a telegraph from Mr: Sombrero: BEEN SICK FOR QUATTRO DAYS STOP SOUP FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER STOP FRIDGE EMPTY STOP NADA TO EAT STOP SAD FACE STOP
Polt: This is the Poltfridge. It’s got all the essentials: Pepsi, wine, outdated milk, beer, a shelf full of condiments. Even a box of Arm & Hammer in the back. You may notice the healthy stuff: a shelf of yogurt, apples, and even celery…still wrapped in plastic. Please don’t notice that the healthy stuff is outnumbered by the unhealthy stuff. And by the way, it does look kinda lonely in there, and i DO take donations….
Jere: My fridge is full of many mysterious leftovers belonging to my roommates. For some reason, almost all my items are currently in the vegetable drawer. These include a loaf of bread, a banana, and two bags of shredded cheese. I also have half a dozen eggs on the top shelf. The absence of red delicious apples. It’s time to go grocery shopping.
FDot: The inside of my refrigerator contains food and drink. Most of it is in bottles and jars. Some of it is in Tupperware. Tupperware was developed in 1946 by Earl Silas Tupper as a way to contain food in an airtight receptacle so it would last longer. There is also a light in my refrigerator that allows me to see inside of it when I need something in the middle of the night. Anything I can possibly need is inside my refrigerator except when I really want it. Atop my refrigerator is a freezer, but I never open it anymore ever since that fateful day……….
Paul: Here are the contents of my fridge. Top Shelf: bottled water, filtered water and coffee. Meat Drawer: steak, cod fillet. Middle Shelves: yogurt, cottage cheese, sugar-free, fat-free pudding (chocolate and cheesecake), eggs. Bottom Shelf: chicken, tomatoes, fat free Cool Whip (for the pudding). Crisper: onions, potatoes, beefsteak tomato, golden delicious apples, oranges. Not a very exciting selection, but it’s working. I do recycle the water bottles, having them like that helps me keep track of how much water I’m drinking. I like to make the cheesecake pudding into a pie, but right now I don’t want the extra calories of the graham cracker crust. I saw the doctor today and got my meds and the clearance to start working out, so now it’s time to really get started losing weight!
TEAM MUSHY CUPCAKE Mush & Ryan
Mush: My weight loss this week is an astonishing [censored]. That’s [censored] pounds! I’ve never lost [censored] pounds in one week before, like, ever. I’m super excited! I also don’t expect it to last; I’ll probably go back to my usual plodding [censored] lbs-per-week loss after this. The vast majority of the stuff in the fridge I use doesn’t belong to me. What’s in there is leftover Indian food in containers and some veggies and diet ranch dressing. And 1% cottage cheese and no fat milk. Being skinny better be fucking worth it.
Ryan: A mix of my and my roommate’s stuff. Highlights: rhubarb preserves, yogurt (fat-free so that can eat a pound to get protein without freaking Mush out), lard (which should go to the freezer since I don’t plan on baking anything with it any time soon); vinaigrette in need of mixing, turkey, cottage cheese (still not tried), eggs (which I learned you can poach inside cooking oatmeal); more yogurt; beer (not touched since this started).
TEAM OINK Harry & Michelle M.
Harry & Michelle: Because we live in the same house (and use the same refrigerator) we only have one blurb. And because neither of us likes to be on the bottom (shut up), we took drastic measures.
TYLER-EXIA & BULI-MIKEY Mikey & Ty
Mikey: This is my fridge, well at least it is the fridge my apartment. I share this fridge with a roommate and absolutely everything you see in there is hers. I have no food at home, which is part of my plan and part of my problem. When I do have food at home, I eat it all until it is gone. When I don’t, I drink water and complain about my lack of food. It takes all of my strength and sense of ethics to not steal my roommates food. Wish me luck!
Ty: To look at my fridge, you might think I never eat. This is even particularly well-stocked for me; usually it contains the water pitcher and condiments. Ah, but how deceptive! Most of my calories never see the fridge except as leftovers. Even when I cook, I tend to buy only what I need for immediate use. The simple reason is that I tend to be a little OCD about food: Gotta clean my plate, finish off any leftovers ASAP, eat the entire box of Cheez-Its, etc. Since I vowed not to make any profound discoveries about my eating habits in this competition, I’ll have to stop there. As for this week’s results, there was a lot of socializing, hence a lot of outdoor calories, hence only a nominal drop. Boo!
How did our teams do in the second week? It’s time to find out!
We’ve calculated the cumulative percentages for each team, and here are the results:
And now it’s time to eliminate a team! Here’s how it works: just like American Idol, you vote for the team that you want to save. The team with the least votes will be eliminated. Polls close around Noon (EST) on Saturday.
Wait a minute! Before you start your campaigning, please feel free to plead your case, write speeches, freak out, party down, or even flip your shit in the comments. We’ll see which team is eliminated next on Sunday!
Oh, and if this blog post wasn’t long enough for you, check out what our fridges looked like last time we played!