This is a wooden plaque that Craig mailed to Mr. Sombrero (MY BOYFRIEND).
So my question to you is: What should I do with it?
It’s been quite a while since my last Piss Puddle game … and there’s actually a reason. A month or so ago, Adam and I were shopping at our local fancy pet boutique (Walmart) and we decided that it was healthier for me and better for the environment to switch to a all-natural, corn-based kitty litter. Sadly, my new litter does not leave very obvious piss puddles … so we assumed that the Piss Puddle game had run its course. But then, Michelle M. kindly included my Piss Puddle on the Cocky & Rude bingo card. What were we to do? We couldn’t disappoint millions of Black Out Bingo players by never completing the card!
So together, we rooted around in the back of our supply cabinet and discovered that there was just enough of my old litter left over for one final puddle. First Adam held me over my litter box and squeezed my hind-side. As you would expect, I refused to piss. Adam then shook me up and down until I scratched him and ran away. Then he considered using his own urine … but he decided that it was “too uncivilized” — what a douche! Finally I watched as he drew this final Piss Puddle with some water and a measuring cup. What a stupid cheater!
You know the rules. Tell me what you think this “Piss Puddle” looks like in the comments. You better come up with something more creative than Adam was thinking when he drew that stupid dick-shaped puddle.
Have you missed your favorite game? Don’t blame me! I take a piss in the litter box at least once a day … but Adam hardly ever takes a photo of it. It’s just not fair! I work so hard to create such beautiful piss puddles. Anyway — here’s one that I’m especially proud of. Let’s make a deal: you tell me what you think it looks like in the comments and I’ll scratch Adam’s eyeballs out if he doesn’t post a Piss Puddle game more often! Meow! -Spring
You never realize how reliant on something you are, until it’s gone. Due to the recent storm (I hate weather), I was without electricity from Saturday at 6pm until Tuesday around noon. I’m still without cable and Internet (which accounts for the infrequent and oddly timed C&R posts). Here’s a list of the things I’ve done while suffering electricity withdraw:
Now that electricity has finally returned, I’m beginning to brainstorm my next blog post, tentatively titled, “Boring list of things I did last night without cable television and Internet access.”
It’s been quite a while since I last graced you with one of my beautiful puddles of urine. Lately I’ve been curling up under blankets, scratching Adam, and eating a bit more kibble than usual. I’m trying to fatten myself up for the winter. But when I’m not busy with all of that crap, I’m still creating magnificent works of art in my little box. Here’s one of my recent masterpieces … tell me what you think it looks like in the comments. If you don’t, I’ll come to your house and tear your furniture to bits. Actually, I might do that anyway.
I’ve spent the last four days in a constant state of motion. On Thursday and Friday, I took vacation days from work and met two of my real-world BFFs in the Lancaster, PA area. One of my BFFs is getting married in a few weeks, so she decided that she wanted to live it up and get wild … in Amish country. Then on Saturday, Mr. Sombrero and I spent the day in New York City, where we checked out two Tribeca Film Festival movies. And finally on Sunday, it was a morning of
Easter Zombie Jesus Day festivities with my family and then an afternoon of relaxing spring cleaning! Here’s some photos from my crazy weekend:
Wednesday night I spent 45 minutes at the self-service car wash, vacuuming up every spec of dirt, dust and sand on the inside and scrubbing away all of the dirt on the outside of my car. Thursday morning I was greeted by a dozen blobs of avian diarrhea on its hood and roof. Ugh. (That’s my landlord’s truck and half-dead bush in the background.)
Not too far from Lancaster is Adamstown, PA. That’s where I found Adam’s Antiques! I never knew that I had an antique store … but with my never-ending energy and obsessive work ethic, it doesn’t surprise me that my antique store is open 7 days a week.
In another antique shop I discovered this super-creepy Donny & Marie costume (I bet that every kid wanted one of these!). I was a little surprised that the manufacturer chose not to go with the more common phrase, “flame retardant” and instead chose to use … that other word. (click photo to enlarge)
On the second day of our trip, my friends and I visited Intercourse, PA. Here’s a photo of me making a duckface next to the sign.
The word “Intercourse” just makes everything funny!
Here’s just one of the many horse and buggies that got in my way as I was trying to speed down the streets of Intercourse in my shit-covered car.
When I finally got home on Friday, I was greeted by Spring and her three perfect pee pee puddles. Is it weird that I took a picture of this? Yes, yes it is.
While I was snapping photos of urine clumps on Friday, Mr. Sombrero attended a Tribeca Film Festival screening of Angels Crest, which starred Kate Walsh (she used to be on Grey’s Anatomy, but now she’s on that other show), Jeremy Piven (I loved him when he was on Ellen, but now he’s just a douche), Mira Sorvino (meh) and Thomas Dekker (John Connor in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles AND he was gay and then not gay and then gay again or something like that … on Heroes). Here’s a shot of the stars on stage during the post-movie Q&A session. (click photo to enlarge)
Here’s Kathy Gilleran, the subject and voice of Gone.
From the TribecaFilm.com: This gripping confessional documentary becomes an outlet for a mother to tell the heartrending story of her search for her missing son. Kathy Gilleran, a retired police officer from Ithaca, New York with 20 years under her belt, received a phone call on October 31, 2007. It was from the UN Industrial Development Organization in Vienna, Austria, where her 34-year-old son, Aeryn, was working. He had disappeared. In Gone, Gilleran shares her personal journey, putting together pieces of what happened, only to have them fall apart again. Talking directly to the camera for most of the film, her articulate manner draws the viewer into her quest for the truth. Mixing in footage she shot while searching for Aeryn in Vienna, she speaks about the frustration with the local police and an investigation full of holes. Like any loving mother, Kathy perseveres—through dead ends, contradicting reports, and signs of homophobia when Aeryn’s openly gay life came into question. Gone will most likely leave many wanting more answers—the same answers Kathy wants.
I was SO jealous that Mr. Sombrero saw famous people without me on Friday… so my eyes were peeled all day. I may have had stars in my eyes, but I think I saw Connor Paolo (Serena’s gay little bro on Gossip Girl) on the subway and I think I passed Hamish Linklater (the Julia Louis-Dreyfus character’s brother on The New Adventures of Old Christine) in a crowd of people outside our second screening. Oh, and a member of the festival’s jury, J.D. Heyman sat next to me during the first screening — I googled him, and it looks like he’s a managing editor for People magazine.
Mr. Sombrero insisted upon snapping my photo next to this “I’m Shady” poster.
And I insisted upon him snapping a photo of me tongue kissing one of the sexiest ladies ever: Madea. Check out my impressive tongue length!
And here’s a photo of an adorable little subway rat! I called to it, but it refused to come any closer to me.
On Sunday, in celebration of Zombie Jesus Day, I decided to snap a few photos of the pretty flowers that are growing all over my landlord’s property.
I think that this is a daffodil or something.
This one’s a ginger.
And then I decided that it’d be a good idea to clean out the giant closet in my kitchen. Most people would probably use it as a pantry or something, but I use it more like a shed. It’s where I store my bike, my tools (I’m handy!), my window-unit air conditioners, computer parts & wires, and some other odds and ends. This photo would be far more impressive if I had taken a ‘before’ photo …
…but you’ll just have to use your imagination. Imagine this heap of paper & cardboard recycling in assembled-box-form, filling the entire closet. Or maybe you can’t even see my mountain of cardboard because you’re blinded by my wallpaper (which is still ugly). Either way, just believe me that it was a disaster. And now it’s organized! Yay!
So that was my way-too-busy 4-day weekend. What’d you do?