Tag Archives: lame

The (not) Friday Five!


What happens when it’s Sunday and you realize you don’t have a Monday post for C&R? You come up with a quick (not) Friday Five, that’s what!

1. In honor of Mother’s Day yesterday, this compilation video:

 
2. This:

3. These Wonder Woman shoes. Someone make them for meeeee! I’m a size 6. And put some white stars on the heels, kay? Here’s the how to: http://madartlab.com/2012/04/18/heels-for-earthbound-superheroines/

4. This review of Where is Baby’s Belly Button?

5. This month’s CD Exchange theme is Non North American music. I was looking for a J-pop song, but instead found this K-pop song. And now I can’t get it out of my head:

Runners up: Cooper, new Puntabulous posts, blooming jasmine, Mai Tais and driving on the coast. What’s on your list?

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What I Don’t Like About You

Last week I listed 20 television characters I love. That means this week it’s time to list 20 characters I hate. And not “love to hate” like Pete Campbell from Mad Men or Ben from Lost. These are characters that I find annoying, lame, whiny, stupid or all of the above. It may be the way the actors are portraying them, or just the way the characters are written. Or maybe it’s the actor himself/herself. Whatever it is, they’re obnoxious and unwatchable.

Annie Romano from One Day At A Time. Overact much? YES!

Phil from Modern Family. He’s way too clownish and dopey.

Debra Messing as Grace and Molly and Julia and any other character she’s played. She is truly awful. She just seems so self aware. Another overactor.

Ivy from 90210. She’s so flat, mopey and morose. ALL the time.

Ross from Friends. What a drip.

Elmo. It’s the voice. It’s like nails on a chalkboard.

Angela Chase from My So Called Life. The angst, the awkwardness, the hair tucking behind the ear, the flannel shirts, the always hugging herself and saying “like” every other word. And how many Jordans are in your school anyway? Can’t you refer to Jordan by his first name only?

Clare Edwards from Degrassi. I’m not sure why I can’t stand Clare. Maybe it’s because she’s a drama queen. Or that she looks like a middle-aged woman in those awful school uniforms. I just know she bugs me.

Kramer from Seinfeld (sorry, Tam). Too weird, too slapsticky. Not my cup of tea.

Jennifer Love Hewitt as anyone in anything. It all started with her character on Party of Five. All that “cutesy” acting and the going around with her sleeves pulled over her hands drove me nuts. Cleavage + acting cutesy = bad actress!

Will Schuester on Glee. He’s so smarmy. And waaaay too into the Glee kids. I might hate him more than Sue Sylvester does.

Hope on Thirtysomething. Never happy. What a wet blanket.

Annie Camden from 7th Heaven. She always seemed so annoyed and kind of bitchy- with a little bit of Church lady thrown in for good measure.

Ally McBeal. Ugh. I couldn’t even make it through one episode.

Susan from Desperate Housewives. I detest her “adorable klutzy” schtick.

Dawn Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Whiny, petulant and useless.

Smurfette. That voice. I can’t smurfing stand it.

Ellis from Smash. He’s such a sneaky little weasel. And not in a fun way.

Declan Porter from Reven8e. His hair is way too big for his body. I call him the human Q-tip. He’s useless as far as I’m concerned. Every time he appears I want to shake my fist at the television (you called it, Craig).

Lori from The Walking Dead. She thinks all the women should be cookin’ and doing laundry – not kicking zombie butt. And she can’t even keep track of her own kid. Or drive!

So which characters make you want to throw something at the screen? Let me know in comments!

The (not) Friday Five!

1. News interns caught on camera!

2. Harry!

Instead of doing it himself (which he is capable of, but would never get around to), Harry (finally) decided to hire a drywaller to patch up the holes and window frames in my office and in our bedroom. Hallelujah!

3. The Twilight Video Game!


 
4. Guest posts!

Posting is hard. Sometimes you just need a break. Adam came up with a guest post for me for Cooper’s Corner. Check it out! And if you would like to guest post for me (either here or on Cooper’s Corner, let me know! I’m lazy and not ashamed to admit it.)

5. The Girl Scout Thin Mints candy bar!

Nestle is teaming up with the Girl Scouts to produce a Thin Mints inspired candy bar. It may show up in June. I should be done with my diet by then.

Runners up: Homemade chicken noodle soup on a rainy day, library hold lists, hot water bottles, Canada Dry Ginger Ale, getting all your laundry done, and the My First Wonder Woman book (which I bought for my 3 year old niece [they have a Superman one too, Polt]).

the CONAN show

Last Tuesday Harry and I went with our friends D. and S. to see Conan. Check in was in the ground level of a parking garage at 1:30. Notice my nails – I painted them orange for the occasion.

After we got our tickets we had time to kill until they took us to the studio at 3:00. The garage was freaking cold, so we left to find something to eat. We found a place called Henry’s Hat not too far away. The Conan staff took my camera, so here is recreation of my lunch: a Mai Tai in a tiki glass and breakfast potatoes.

Back at the garage we were led in groups (I have never seen so many f*cking hipsters in one place) to the studio. We walked across the street and then wound our way through the various sound stages to the Conan holding pens. I thought it was funny to muse out loud if random people we passed were famous. After the 30th time it was still hilarious. To me. Or maybe it was the Mai Tai talking. Anyway, imagine my excitement when I spotted Johnny Galecki (of The Big Bang Theory and one of my favorite shows, Roseanne)! He was on his cell phone and wearing a blue shirt! “It’s David Galecki!” I said excitedly (I was thinking of his character on Roseanne).

Brad, the guy in charge of our group confirmed that it was, indeed Johnny Galecki. Not one minute later an Asian guy passed by. “Hey, that guy’s famous!” I said. I didn’t know his name, but he looked like the guy from Entourage. Brad said he was on Community and Ugly Betty. So I said I’d Google him when I got home.

I don’t know what the hell Brad was talking about. It was totally Rex Lee from Entourage and Suburgatory (A show I watch!). Besides, Suburgatory films there, we passed right by their trailers and wardrobe racks. Whatever, Brad. We also passed by Chuck Lorre’s parking space and the Harry’s Law soundstage. How awesome would it have been to see Kathy Bates?! After a brief wait in the holding pens, we finally made it into the studio.

We were in the 7th row. Yay! Out of 9 rows. Boo!

The set looked so much smaller in real life. Some dude came out to warm up the audience and tell us to clap when the “applause” sign lit up. Then the band came out. They were awesome! First, La Bamba sang a song.

Then Mark Pender (the bald guy) sang a song. It kind of sounded like “Jump, Jive and Wail”, but it wasn’t. Anyway, they were fantastic.

Then the most boring Conan show ever taped started. Conan came out and did his monologue. He did his little jump, but no string dance. It was their one year anniversary, but you wouldn’t have known it from the show. They did nothing special to mark the occasion – no skit, no confetti, nothing. Maybe they were tired from the New York trip. He did do a funny sign bit with a guy in one of the front rows (to sit in the front rows you had to get there at 9:30).

Andy did a bit about fall foliage. Um, I adore Andy, but it wasn’t that funny. I’m going to blame the writers.

There was also a peanut players skit about Herman Cain. It was kinda meh. I think the Depardieu one from August was hilarious. Here’s that one.

The first guest was Julie Bowen. I love Modern Family, but she bugs me. Oh – we just watched Horrible Bosses last night – it was cute and funny and I would recommend it. She was in that. Oh well, at least she had some energy.

Her son made a turkey. It was the most interesting guest on the show.

Next up was a snowboarder. God, he was dull.

My mind wandered off halfway through the interview.

Then a comedienne (?) came out. She had a baby voice and made weird faces. She spoke too softly so we couldn’t make out a lot of what she was saying. That night when we watched the show on tv we were able to confirm that she was lame and not funny.

Then it was over, but before Conan left the stage he sang a sweet little goodbye song to the audience.

Outside it was dark and we made our way back to the garage. We passed my new friend Brad who called out to me to remember to Google that guy. Which I did. Brad, you need to watch more tv. On the way home we stopped at the Downey Brewery where I had a Lambic Frambois and some onion rings. God, I ate nothing healthy that day.

Harry had a sausage party.

Back on the road we went in the wrong direction for about half an hour, because we’re awesome like that. Despite the lackluster show, we had a great time and hope to see Conan again in the future.

The next day I had some homemade yellow split pea soup and a big salad to make up for the delicious crap I ate the day before.

A friend for john?


In case you didn’t know, everyone’s favorite bunny has decided to get a pet.
Which of these animals will make the cut?

has had rabbits before. He wants a pet that will be a little more interactive.

Allergies.
Too big.

Too lame.

Too Richard Parker.

A disaster in the making.
Salmonella!

Boring.

Probably none of these – john seems to be leaning towards a dog. Instead of a parakeet.

Which is silly, because, as everyone knows, parakeets are as good as or even better than dogs.

Why parakeets are better than dogs:

Their poops are smaller and easier to clean up
You’ll never see them pulling a “Toby”

They are cheaper (food, toys, care) than a dog
You don’t need to walk them
They bathe themselves
They will vote for you in important C&R elections
They don’t slobber all over you when you kiss them
They won’t hump your leg
They don’t have bad breath
They sing along to the radio with you
They love youtube

They can fly
They can talk (even though it’s creepy)
They get along well with rabbits

If john does get a dog,
he needs to decide on a breed.

He recently asked for input on his facebook question of the day.
The kid suggested a greyhound – but are greyhounds and rabbits a good mix?


A lab probably isn’t a good idea either…

Tam suggested a Cavalier King Charles spaniel…

Or a pug – which is a breed john likes.

Justin didn’t weigh in, but I’m sure he would suggest a Siberian Husky.

David P. suggested a large dog,

while Polt would go for a lap dog. Maybe a poodle, like Mama Polt’s Angel.

I am partial to Shiba Inus.

Or collies. You never know when you might fall down a well.

josh said to get a nice dog.

In one of my favorite Kids In the Hall bits, Bruce McCulloch sings the praises of a terrier:

So many choices!

So, john, if you do end up with a dog, I’m sure the lucky pooch you choose will be a great addition to your life and will provide you with lots of love, joy and companionship. Just don’t put a bandanna on it.