Tag Archives: fly

Stuff I actually dream about

In my last post I talked about the things I like to daydream about.
But what do I dream about when I’m fast asleep? Let’s find out…

Monday I dreamed that Jessica Simpson was coming out with a line of butter candies. The flavors she had were: buttered toast, buttered popcorn, hot buttered rum and baked potato with butter. She needed my help to come up with the 5th flavor. I suggested buttered waffles.

Tuesday I dreamed that I worked at the Mad Men offices. I was going through everyone’s files to find out what their salaries were. I’m sneaky that way.

Wednesday I dreamed that I was hanging out with Lynda Carter/Wonder Woman. She was really impressed that I had a gold ring with three purple stones (I do not really have a gold ring with three purple stones).

Thursday I dreamed that I was a consumer reporter analyzing pool rafts.

Friday I dreamed that I couldn’t open my high school locker. It seemed I spent all night trying to open my combination lock. I hate those kinds of dreams. (In high school my locker combination was 10-16-38).

Saturday I dreamed that I was in charge of refreshments for the Honey Boo Boo airshow (she would jump out of an airplane and fly to the ground). I couldn’t find a dozen doughnuts, cupcakes or cookies, so I had to mix and match. It was very frustrating.

On Sunday I dreamed that I went to a party thrown by Kathy Griffin. I par-tayed until the wee hours. The next day Liam Neeson was mad at me for keeping his little boy out all night long. I guess I was supposed to be babysitting him – oops.

So what does any of this mean? Who cares. At least I didn’t dream that my teeth were falling out or that I had a mouth full of gum. My favorite dreams are flying dreams – but I rarely have those. What are some of the weird dreams you have? Let me know in comments!


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My Celebrity Free Pass List

Just like Ross on Friends, I have a free pass list* (a celebrity free pass is an agreement between you and your significant other** that should you meet one of the five people on your list, you have free reign to get it on). Here are the lucky celebrities who may or may not have their world rocked should they happen to cross my path (or someone invents a time machine):

1. Barry Gibb (in his glory days). Who can resist gold medallions, a hairy chest and a falsetto?

2. Joe Manganiello. Joe is a classically trained American film and theatre actor. He is most known for his role as a werewolf on the series True Blood. He is active with several charities and looks good with his shirt off.

3. Cary Grant (in his heyday). So dashing and debonair. And that transatlantic accent – swoon!

4. Boris Frederic Cecil Tay-Natey Ofuatey-Kodjoe. Boris is an actor and former model. He was named one of People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People in the World and that’s good enough for me.

5. Christopher Reeve (in his alive, walking around days). When I was 10 I joined the Christoper Reeve fan club. Who wouldn’t want to fly with Superman? And Somewhere in Time is one of the most romantic movies ever.

*Unlike Ross, my list is not laminated and is subject to change without notice.

*Harry is allowed to have a free pass list, too. I better not find it, though, or there will be 5 fewer celebrities in the world.

So who is on your 5 list? Let me know in comments!

The Cocky & Rude Compatibility Quiz


Recently the C&Rmy was asked to take a compatibility quiz. After compiling and scrutinizing the data (aka, giving it Harry and making him figure out the percentages), the results were in. Here are your best and worst matches. Love is in the air, so if you need to, dump your significant other, fly across the country, destroy your competition and get ready to woo your true love!
























Happy Valentine’s Day!

It’s Michelle & Adam’s Friday Five!

Guess what?  It’s Friday!  Yippie Skippy!  This week Michelle and I decided to each contribute 2.5 Friday favorites to everyone’s favorite Cocky & Rude Friday feature: It’s The Friday Five!

1) American Horror Story. (Michelle) Why are there flies on those apples…? My favorite show of the new season!  The storyline keeps moving along with neat little twists. Last night’s was fantastic – too bad I had already read about it on the internet :(. Jessica Lange plays my favorite character. She does a wonderful job playing someone you love to hate and hate to love. Tate and Moira are other characters that tread the line between sympathetic and despicable. Guest spots by Mena Suvari, Zachary Quinto and Eric Stonestreet keep the show fresh. And there’s just the right amount of gruesome to satisfy this horror fan. If you’re not watching, you should be.

2) Hot chocolate. (Michelle) Hurray! It’s hot chocolate season. I like to throw a couple Hershey’s kisses in mine to make it extra chocolatey. And a splash of peppermint schnapps doesn’t hurt either.

3) This. (Michelle)

3.5) This. (Adam) (Even though everyone has already seen it because I shared it on Facebook.) (And even though it’s missing an apostrophe.)  It’s so funny!

4) The Hunger Games trilogy. (Adam) Mikey raved about it … so I decided to give it a chance.  Ever since I graduated from college (with a bachelor’s degree in English) I’ve strayed away from that whole ‘reading’ thing.  I few books here and there, but overall I’m a book burnout.  I started reading the first book in Montreal and (according to my Kindle) I’m now 61% of the way through the third.  It’s a lot of fun (even though it’s a young adult series) and I can’t wait for the movie!  Have you seen the trailer yet?  It looks sooooo good!

5) Chinese Food. (Adam) I recently discovered that my local Chinese Restaurant’s recipes for vegetable lo mein and  spring rolls are vegan (or so they claim), and now I can’t get enough!  Noodles, broccoli, weird looking mushrooms that they probably found growing in the sludge next to the dumpster, assorted other mystery vegetables … omg!  Spring rolls stuffed with random nondescript and often colorless vegetables all coated in a crispy deep-fried shell?  PLUS they claim that it’s all “healthy” Chinese food!  Who cares if they’re lying?  Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!!

Runners Up This Week: staying in bed until 5 minutes before you’re supposed to leave for work (because the bed is warm and the apartment is cold) and then running around like a maniac to get ready, snuggling with Spring until she attacks, getting surprise gifts in the mail from Michelle M., getting calendars in the mail from Polt, Beavis & Butt-Head, and of course: hardcore gay pornography.

Happy Birthday Polt!


Friday is Polt’s birthday – so what better song to celebrate our favorite man who loves purple
than Kiss by Prince

You don’t have to be hetero

to turn me on

I just need your comments baby

From dusk ’til dawn

You don’t need experience

To turn me out

You just leave it all up to me

I’m gonna show you what it’s all about


You don’t have to be rich

To be my man

You don’t have to be cool

I’ll be your fan


Ain’t no particular sign I’m more compatible with

I just want your extra HUGS, cause you’re

Chris


You got to not talk dirty, baby

If you wanna impress me

You can’t be too flirty

mama


I know how to undress me (Yeah)

I want to be your fantasy

Maybe you could be mine

You just leave it all up to me

We could have a good time


You don’t have to be rich

To be my boy

You don’t have to be cool

or suave or coy


Ain’t no particular sign I’m more compatible with

I just want your extra HUGS, cause you’re


Chris


Yes
Oh, I think I wanna dance
Gotta, Gotta


Little girl Michelle’s parade

Gotta, gotta, gotta


Men and not girls rule your world

I said they rule your world


Act your age

mama


Not your shoe size


Maybe we could do the twirl

You don’t have to watch Dynasty

To have an attitude


You just leave it all up to me

My love will be your food

Yeah


You don’t have to be rich

To be my guy

You don’t have to be cool

I think you’re fly


Ain’t no particular sign I’m more compatible with

I just want your extra HUGS, cause you’re

Chris

Happy Birthday Polt!

A friend for john?


In case you didn’t know, everyone’s favorite bunny has decided to get a pet.
Which of these animals will make the cut?

has had rabbits before. He wants a pet that will be a little more interactive.

Allergies.
Too big.

Too lame.

Too Richard Parker.

A disaster in the making.
Salmonella!

Boring.

Probably none of these – john seems to be leaning towards a dog. Instead of a parakeet.

Which is silly, because, as everyone knows, parakeets are as good as or even better than dogs.

Why parakeets are better than dogs:

Their poops are smaller and easier to clean up
You’ll never see them pulling a “Toby”

They are cheaper (food, toys, care) than a dog
You don’t need to walk them
They bathe themselves
They will vote for you in important C&R elections
They don’t slobber all over you when you kiss them
They won’t hump your leg
They don’t have bad breath
They sing along to the radio with you
They love youtube

They can fly
They can talk (even though it’s creepy)
They get along well with rabbits

If john does get a dog,
he needs to decide on a breed.

He recently asked for input on his facebook question of the day.
The kid suggested a greyhound – but are greyhounds and rabbits a good mix?


A lab probably isn’t a good idea either…

Tam suggested a Cavalier King Charles spaniel…

Or a pug – which is a breed john likes.

Justin didn’t weigh in, but I’m sure he would suggest a Siberian Husky.

David P. suggested a large dog,

while Polt would go for a lap dog. Maybe a poodle, like Mama Polt’s Angel.

I am partial to Shiba Inus.

Or collies. You never know when you might fall down a well.

josh said to get a nice dog.

In one of my favorite Kids In the Hall bits, Bruce McCulloch sings the praises of a terrier:

So many choices!

So, john, if you do end up with a dog, I’m sure the lucky pooch you choose will be a great addition to your life and will provide you with lots of love, joy and companionship. Just don’t put a bandanna on it.

Have You Ever … On An Airplane?!

How are you celebrating National Aviation Week (August 15th – August 21st)? How about you buy me a plane ticket to somewhere exotic? You could include some spending money, plus a nice hotel room and all sorts of delicious gourmet vegan meals. Thanks!

But before I get too ahead of myself … let’s find out what you’ve done on an airplane. The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your

points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever ridden on an airplane?
2. Have you ever flown first class on an airplane?
3. Have you ever sneaked into first class on an airplane?
4. Have you ever been inside the cockpit on an airplane?
5. Have you ever piloted an airplane?
6. Have you ever flown over an ocean on an airplane?
7. Have you ever watched a movie on an airplane?
8. Have you ever consumed a meal on an airplane?
9. Have you ever gotten drunk on an airplane?
10. Have you ever thrown up on an airplane?
11. Have you ever fallen asleep on an airplane?
12. Have you ever had another passenger fall asleep on your shoulder?
13. Have you ever gone to the bathroom on an airplane?
14. Have you ever farted loudly on an airplane?
15. Have you ever been uncomfortable when an overweight passenger ‘overflowed’ into your seat?
16. Have you ever been driven crazy by a crying baby on an airplane?
17. Have you ever made a commotion on an airplane because you were afraid of flying?
18. Have you ever yelled at another passenger on an airplane?
19. Have you ever yelled at a flight attendant on an airplane?
20. Have you ever gotten in trouble on an airplane?
21. Have you ever flirted with a stranger on an airplane?
22. Have you ever had sex with someone you know on an airplane?
23. Have you ever had sex with a stranger on an airplane?
24. Have you ever been on an airplane that was overrun with snakes?
25. Have you ever been on an airplane that crashed?

In the comments, tell us your point total and (approximately) how many times that you’ve flown in your lifetime.