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Biggest C&R Loser 2013

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Welcome to the second week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40!  This week’s theme is “GOAL & PRIZE” – Everything is easier if there’s a goal & prize in place.  Each of the contestants will tell us what their personal goal and/or prize is and how it will motivate them to lose weight.


Adam


When I win Biggest C&R Loser, I’m going to let Mr. Sombrero buy me an entirely new wardrobe! We’re going to go shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch and buy one of these weird-shaped sports balls. That’s all I’m ever going to wear!


Michelle M.

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My goal for this round of BCRL is to lose enough weight that I can throw away my fat jeans! Or burn them. Or both!


Mikey

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I am playing to fit into all of my clothes….and to make sure that when I go shopping for clothes I don’t have to constantly buy a size up. I hate that. 😦


Mr. Sombrero

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This time around I hope to get serious about my weight loss. I’ve gained a small ton in the past six months and have almost doubled in size since I met Adam. [hmmm?] And all for good reasons: health, general well being and a bunch of clothes that no longer fit.


Nathan

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My goal in this competition is to be healthier and look better. Hopefully like the guy in this photo. It’s important to aim high, so that even if I don’t quite make it, I still get quite far.


Polt

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What’s my goal and prize for doing this? Well the weight loss will be nice, but my main reason for doing this (other than the money) is my diabetes: I want to get my A1C to 7.0 or below (which makes me a controlled diabetic. Normal people are 6.0 or below). Last March, it was above 9, my doctor yelled at me and put me on a diet. I followed it and in three months, dropped to 7.1 in June. Because I slacked off, in September, it was 7.4. Now, over the holidays, I’m sure it’s gone up again. And this coming Monday i have a doctor’s appointment, where I’m sure she’ll yell at me again. But with her yelling and this contest, hopefully, I can get it back down around or below 7.0. That’s my goal. the prize? Having better health and not dying as soon.


Tam

Tam 15

Okay, I was really not mentally prepared for this whole process to start last week. I seemed to be still in the post-holiday sugar-craving mode. Enough. I need to track my food consumption more carefully. No more chocolate. My goal is 15lbs. I know that’s kind of wimpy, but if I don’t set my sights too high I might actually make it and more would be a bonus. Better to aim low and succeed I always say. Well, mostly. Whatever. Reward? I don’t know. Maybe new shoes. I’m always up for new shoes. (And no, I don’t really want pink sequinned sneakers, but something.)


TwoPi

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My “prize” is a cruise with my immediate family, hitting various ports along the Baltic. For me, the challenging part of this trip will be its physical demands. I have arthritis in my lumbar spine, and can’t (currently) be on my feet for prolonged periods of time. This will put a serious crimp in our site seeing at the ports of call. I’m working on physical therapy to try and regain some motion and strength, but one thing that would make all of that more effective is weight loss.


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Craig Is A Creepy Freak!! What Should I Do?

This is a wooden plaque that Craig mailed to Mr. Sombrero (MY BOYFRIEND).

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Creepy, right?

So my question to you is: What should I do with it?

It’s Your Friday Five!

Once again I tossed C&R’s Friday Five out to the C&Rmy, and here’s what threw back.
It’s your Friday Five!


Booze Cruise! The fourth annual family booze cruise is tonight! And since my family actually gets along really well it’s always a lot of fun! It combines all of lifes greatest pleasures. Food! Booze! Old people dancing to Lady Gaga! Here’s a picture from last year. It was raining and we were all soaked by the end of the night, but we still had a great time! Craig


Ummm my new blog post feat. Michelle M., Adam and Polt is great. Enrico


Christian Bale Is At Your Party Kristen


What made my week? Being mentioned TWICE in one C&R post: My name was uttered by a cute twinkie and my ass had a $100 bill sticking out of it. What could make ANY week better than that? Polt


Scary Smash: The first episode of Written by a Kid. A kid’s monster story is brought to life by some people you might recognize. Ryan


Watering my lawn. We came home from vacation and our front lawn is absolutely dead. We are in a drought situation here and the lawns are brown, brown, brown. Weirdly my fanatical neighbour (we share a tiny front lawn) has not been watering it. We have no water shortage so the city has actually started asking people to water their lawns so if there is fire there is less dry grass to go up. So last night I bought a new hose and today my landlord replaced my spigot in the garage and I watered my grass so if I keep it up every day I’ll have new green grass soon. I hope.

Honest to god, it looks like the grass on the left but with a smattering of green weeds. Tam


Now that I’m all caught up with Breaking Bad (sadness), I need something new to fill the empty hours of my existence. Harry and I just started watching Dexter. We’re almost done with Season 1. So far it’s been entertaining. Here’s a quiz to find out which Dexter character you are. My results were Vince (which I don’t agree with – but, whatever). -Michelle


Have You Ever… Been Macho!?

The rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have you ever?!

1. Have you ever barbecued a big slab of meat?
2. Have you ever camped in the woods?
3. Have you ever climbed to the top of a mountain?
4. Have you ever bench pressed 200 pounds?
5. Have you ever ordered a scotch on the rocks?
6. Have you ever smoked a cigar?
7. Have you ever played rugby?
8. Have you ever repaired a car?
9. Have you ever used tools for home repairs?
10. Have you ever engaged in fisticuffs?
11. Have you ever eaten an entire habanero pepper?
12. Have you ever gone all in at a game of poker?
13. Have you ever grown a full beard?
14. Have you ever served in the military?
15. Have you ever practiced martial arts?
16. Have you ever driven a motorcycle?
17. Have you ever gone deep sea fishing?
18. Have you ever built a fire?
19. Have you ever rung the bell with a hammer at the fair’s strong man contest?
20. Have you ever had a hairy chest?
21. Have you ever gone skydiving?
22. Have you ever opened a bottle with your teeth?
23. Have you ever fired a gun?
24. Have you ever chopped wood?
25. Have you ever wrassled a bear?

Tell us your total in comments and lets find out… ¿quien es mas macho?


Have You Ever … Gone Camping?!

National Camping Month was first observed in June of 2009, and helps to inspire Americans of all ages to go camping.  June is also the Obama Administration’s Great Outdoors Month, and on the 23rd of this month, families all over the United States will celebrate the Great American Backyard Campout.  Have you ever gone camping?  What have you done while camping?  Let’s find out!

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever gone camping?
2. Have you ever gone camping at a campground?
3. Have you ever gone camping in a backyard?
4. Have you ever gone camping in the wilderness?
5. Have you ever slept in a tent inside your home?
6. Have you ever slept outside under the stars?
7. Have you ever started a campfire?
8. Have you ever told scary stories around a campfire?
9. Have you ever sung camp songs around a campfire?
10. Have you ever cooked food over a campfire?
11. Have you ever made s’mores around a campfire?
12. Have you ever eaten beans right out of the can while camping?
13. Have you ever eaten fish you caught while camping?
14. Have you ever been awoken by wild animals outside your tent while camping?
15. Have you ever had to run away from wild animals while camping?
16. Have you ever pooped outside?
17. Have you ever had to use something other than toilet paper after pooping outside?
18. Have you ever camped outside during a thunderstorm?
19. Have you ever ended a camping trip early because you couldn’t handle it?
20. Have you ever been bitten by a snake while camping?
21. Have you ever drank alcohol while underage, while camping?
22. Have you ever smoked pot while camping?
23. Have you ever secretly masturbated while others were sleeping in your tent?
24. Have you ever participated in a circle jerk while camping?
25. Have you ever had sex in a tent?

Tell us your total in the comments!

Thanks to Craig for his help with this post!


Where Should Nathan Go On Vacation?

Late last week, Nathan contacted me with a post idea. It seems that he has a week off in July and has no clue what to do and where to go on vacation. Here are my ten suggestions:

Stay in Canada! Canada is a beautiful wasteland of ice and snow. Who wouldn’t want to spend some free time exploring an iceberg, making snowmen, adding unnecessary u’s to words, and napping inside of an igloo! The temperature never goes above freezing in Canada!  Slap on your formal wear and have a ball!

Why not spend a week in wonderful Baghdad, Iraq! The largest city in Iraq is home to political unrest, massive troop withdrawals and startling civil rights violations. Who wouldn’t want to visit Baghdad? I hear that they have the best gay clubs in all of the Middle East!

How about a week in North Korea? Spend your time with the new supreme leader, Kim Jong-un! Try your hand at designing weapons of mass destruction, try on a huge selection of Kim Jong-il‘s high heeled shoes, and threaten to start World War III! And that’s all just in the first day!

How about a tour of Chernobyl, Ukraine? Tour the disintegrating nuclear sarcophagus, sample the local radioactive cuisine, and dance the night away with all the local mutants! You’ll leave Chernobyl with a “healthy” green glow that all your friends will be jealous of!

How about a lovely hike near Moab, Utah? While you’re there, make sure to get your arm stuck under a rock … and spend the next 127 hours practicing your survival skills!

Why not spend a week in sunny Afghanistan? Tour the expansive deserts (but watch out for IEDs!) or spend a few days hiding in a cave. For an extra few hundred bucks you can attend a actual terrorist training camp!

Spend a week exploring Antarctica! Antarctica, on average, is the coldest, driest, and windiest continent, and has the highest average elevation of all the continents. I can’t think of a better place to slap on some eyeliner and PAR-TAY!

What, you haven’t heard of Centralia, Pennsylvania? All properties in the borough were claimed under eminent domain by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania in 1992 (and all buildings therein were condemned), and Centralia’s ZIP code was revoked by the Post Office in 2002. Why? Because the mines below the surface are expected to be on fire for the next 250 years! Get yer tan on in Centralia!

None of those vacations are ticking your fancy? Then how about fabulous Somalia? Since the outbreak of the Somali Civil War in 1991 there has been no central government control over most of the country’s territory. But that can’t stop the bustling tourism business! Spend a day working as an actual Somali slumlord or reenact scenes Black Hawk Down!

If all else fails, you can always spend a week in the pink! Fat Betty’s anus is a warm and inviting … but be warned, when it’s poo-time, you’ll feel like you’re standing in the middle of the busiest highway in North America. She eats a lot, and yes, she poops a lot.

Those are my 10 best suggestions! Do you have a favorite, or maybe you have some ideas of your own? Help Nathan in the comments!

True Confessions