Tag Archives: fight

Have You Ever … Had Bad Business Etiquette?!

OMG!  Did you know that we missed National Business Etiquette Week?  It was June 3rd – 9th.  DAMMIT!  That’s usually the only week a year that I behave myself at work.  I guess I’ll just have to wait until next year.  Do you have good business etiquette?  Let’s find out!

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever farted loudly at work?
2. Have you ever burped loudly at work?
3. Have you ever pooped your pants at work?
4. Have you ever cursed at a coworker?
5. Have you ever been cursed at by a coworker?
6. Have you ever hung up the telephone on a coworker?
7. Have you ever hung up the telephone on a client/supplier/customer?
8. Have you ever stunk up the office with your nasty smelling food?
9. Have you ever eaten someone else’s food out of the office fridge?
10. Have you ever hogged the work microwave for 5 minutes warming up frozen food?
11. Have you ever borrowed office supplies off of a coworkers desk and not returned them?
12. Have you ever finished the office coffee and not made another pot?
13. Have you ever left the copier jammed after you jammed it?
14. Have you ever stolen office supplies from the office for home use?
15. Have you ever been reprimanded for not adhereing to the dress code at work?
16. Have you ever clogged the toilet at work and not tell anyone?
17. Have you ever snuck out of the office early and not tell anyone?
18. Have you ever used your lunch hour to interview for another job?
19. Have you ever complained about your job on facebook while at your job?
20. Have you ever physically struck a coworker?
21. Have you ever been physically struck by a coworker
22. Have you ever sexually harassed a coworker?
23. Have you ever been sexually harassed by a coworker?
24. Have you ever been sexually harassed by your boss?
25. Have you ever had sex with a coworker?

Tell us your total in the comments!


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Happy Birthday Michelle M.!

Today is a very special day … it’s Michelle M.’s Birthday!
From all of your friends, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


A Limerick:

We all know her as Michelle M.
We think her to be quite the gem.
But I have been told
She’s getting quite old,
So it’s time to start calling her “ma’am.”

– Jere



Wishing you a mouth-watering birthday!
-David P.





-Tam


Happy Birthday to one of my favorite people ever, Cooper’s mom and Wonder Women fan….
Michelle M.!!!! I hope you have the most awesome Birthday ever because you deserve it!!
xoxo
– TJ and the doggies (Cooper’s Compadres)



Happy Birthday! From X-Heather and TwoPi


A Haiku About Michelle

The best in our books
Happy Birthday To Michelle
Hail Wonder Woman

– Kristen



Ode to Her Awesomeness
By Craig

What could one possibly say,
About the delectable Michelle M?
If she were a dessert,
She’d be la crème de la crème.

She lives in California,
All the way on the West Coast.
She’s the Cocky & Rude writer,
That us readers love the most.

She never met a head,
She couldn’t put on another body.
Don’t let her sweet looks fool you,
For her mouth is quite a potty.

With those flowing golden locks,
Like a superhero’s cape.
It begs that age old question,
Does the carpet match the drapes?

Her husband is a sexy beast,
Who likes pizza and canned beer.
There’s not a single gay around,
Who doesn’t wish that he was queer.

Wonder Woman is her idol,
And Cooper is her bird.
I don’t know who she loves most,
But Harry’s definitely in third.

So today is her birthday,
Hope she have lots of fun.
Happy Birthday Michelle M!
Congrats on turning twenty one!


Dear Michelle,
I heard it was your birthday so I wanted to send you a short note. I hope you have a wonderful day and that you don’t divorce your husband so you can marry a politician and then your ex marries a skinny little waif and then you can’t stop eating because you hate your life and you are fighting with your kids and your mother-in-law thinks you are useless and then you become the fattest woman in Westchester and then you can’t wear any of your clothes and then you feel so worried that you will eat up all your kids and then you will worry that Gene might be too small and gamey to be palatable and then your daughter hates you because you want to go skiing and she goes to her dad’s and get’s her period and then she comes back to you and whines and you are thinking “hurry up and have a baby so I can eat it.” Can I eat your cake?
Love, Fat Betty


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
From Mikey & Ty


Happy birthday to the most creative, talented, elfin proportioned person I know!
Happy Birthday Michelle!
Have a great day and best wishes for the coming year! -John


Ok, I know that Harry and Craiggers are gonna get real jealous here, but I got only one question for Michelle M.:

I Wonder Woman, are you my kinda woman?
Wit a back like that you fly like jets
Are you my Wonder Woman?

te quiero,
mr. sombrero


Happy Birthday Michelle M.!!! I decided to celebrate your birthday by mixing
my two favorite things: you, and my favorite albums!!! -Enrico



HAPPY BIRTHDAY

MICHELLE!!!!


My week.

Monday
Harry had hockey, so Cooper and I watched The Muppets. My favorite muppet is Floyd. He’s so cool and laid back – the opposite of me! Cooper’s favorite muppet was the little girl giving Walter the side-eye. Cooper is also a big Chris Cooper fan.

Did I have a soda, candy and popcorn while watching the movie? No. I had celery sticks, apple sauce and water.

Tuesday
I checked in on the roses. After finally getting rid of whatever was eating holes in the leaves, our five rose bushes came down with powdery mildew. And just when they were looking so healthy and lush and were starting to bloom. I had to cut them all back. Boo.

I did my ironing. I hate ironing. Here is a shirt that is supposed to be “no iron”. Grrrr.

Wednesday
Wednesday we got in the car and headed to Temecula‘s wine country (about an hour north of us). Last year Harry gave me a horseback ride and wine tasting lunch for my birthday. We finally got around to doing it. My horse’s name was Rusty and Harry’s was Quincy. It was super hot, and my horse kept fighting me to be in front of the guide, but it was fun!

After our ride we went to Wilson Creek Winery for our wine tasting. Woo hoo!

Then we had lunch. The restaurant was outdoors. They had misters which was lovely on such a hot day. The rolls had cheese on them (yuck), but the crackers were pretty good. I had a (steak) salad.

Thursday
Thursday was the last day of my painting class. Some of the students brought in snacks. One of them brought chocolate cupcakes. I took one because it would have been rude of me to refuse.

Here is the painting I’ve been working on. It’s Franz Marc‘s Red Horses. It’s a little off because the dimensions of my canvas are different from the original. And I still have a lot yet to do. I’m the queen of unfinished projects, but hopefully I’ll keep working on it.

Friday
After dinner at a Mexican restaurant with friends (I had 2 daiquiris, peach and strawberry), Harry and I decided to go to the local dive bar to drink some more. He had beer and some kind of cinnamon shot thing. I had 2 rum and cokes. They have a neat jukebox with bajillions of songs.

We killed zombies, played air hockey (Harry won) and pool (Harry won – maybe it’s because I played this way…).

Saturday
We went to our local farmer’s market. We got some fresh, organic California strawberries.

Then we took the car in to Pep Boys because the air conditioner broke. This would be their second go round trying to fix it (this isn’t our first experience having to bring the car back for a re-repair). After we got there they told us to bring it back another day (after just telling us on the phone to bring it in). After we get it fixed we shall never, ever return. Manny, Mo and Jack can suck it.

We decided to have lunch in Hillcrest. We went to Freebirds World Burrito. It’s kinda like Chipotle, but with more options. Check out my huge burrito:

We sat outside and guess what music was playing? “Black Betty”. I kid you not. Also, I totally didn’t have a brownie or cookie. Willpower!

On the way home we saw this bar. It reminded me of Adam.

Sunday
I didn’t do much. I can’t find my brand of shampoo anywhere anymore, so I used this brand for the first time. It smells like flowers and fruit salad.

I also read, played on the computer and watched tv. Then I worked on Cooper’s exciting post for Monday.
Check out Cooper’s Corner for a very important announcement: http://cooperscorner.info/

So how was your weekend? And who is your favorite muppet? Let me know in comments!

Who are you? FIND OUT!

Have You Ever… Had a Workplace Conflict?!

Did you know that April is Workplace Conflict Awareness Month? I didn’t either! This month we strive to deal with conflicts openly and directly, in order to build a high performance organization. But instead of that crap, let’s talk about all the workplace conflicts that we’ve been involved with!

You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever been involved in a workplace conflict?
2. Have you ever had to deal with a rude, aggressive or inconsiderate coworker?
3. Have you ever shouted at a coworker?
4. Have you ever been shouted at by a coworker?
5. Have you ever been angry at a coworker?
6. Have you ever had a coworker that you never got along with?
7. Have you ever been the coworker that no one got along with?
8. Have you ever complained to a coworker’s boss about coworker’s behavior?
9. Have you ever been called to Human Resources or a manager’s office because of a workplace conflict?
10. Have you ever been sent home from work because of a workplace conflict?
11. Have you ever been suspended or otherwise punished for your poor workplace behavior?
12. Have you ever regretted your poor behavior in the workplace (in regards to a conflict)?
13. Have you ever been accused of sexual harassment?
14. Have you ever accused someone else of sexual harassment?
15. Have you ever been accused of discrimination in the workplace?
16. Have you ever accused someone else of discrimination in the workplace?
17. Have you ever kept notes on a coworker’s poor behavior to later use against them?
18. Have you ever gotten someone fired?
19. Have you ever been fired because of a workplace conflict?
20. Have you ever struck a coworker?
21. Have you ever been struck by a coworker?
22. Have you ever sabotaged (or pranked) a coworker to punish them for their poor workplace behavior?
23. Have you ever been sabotaged (or pranked) because of your poor workplace behavior?
24. Have you ever been reported to authorities (security, police, court, etc.) because of a workplace conflict?
25. Have you ever been sued or arrested because of a workplace conflict?

Now punch the coworker that’s closest to you as hard as you can and then tell us your total in the comments. Do you have any good workplace conflict stories to share? Tell us all about those too!


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Have You Ever … While Holiday Shopping?!

While most of us really enjoy the holiday season, between the holiday parties, the baking, the holiday cards, drawing A Cocky & Rude Christmas Carol and finding the perfect gifts for everyone, we place pretty heavy demands on ourselves.  Do you ever let the stresses of holiday shopping get to you?  Just what have you done while holiday shopping?  We’re about to find out…

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever gone from store to store looking for a particular item while holiday shopping?
2. Have you ever paid extra for a highly sought-after item while holiday shopping?
3. Have you ever spent more money than you were intending while holiday shopping?
4. Have you ever spent more money on yourself than on others while holiday shopping?
5. Have you ever made a commitment to only shop locally or in non-chain stores while holiday shopping?
6. Have you ever used a price comparison app on your smart phone or mobile device while holiday shopping to make sure that you get the best deals?
7. Have you ever skipped traditional holiday shopping and made all of your own holiday gifts?
8. Have you ever donated to charities instead of going holiday shopping?
9. Have you ever done all of your holiday shopping online?
10. Have you ever done all of your holiday shopping at a single store?
11. Have you ever done all of your holiday shopping in a single day?
12. Have you ever done all of your holiday shopping at a convenience store or gas station?
13. Have you ever completed your holiday shopping before December?
14. Have you ever procrastinated until Christmas Eve to do your holiday shopping?
15. Have you ever outsourced your holiday shopping to a family member or significant other?
16. Have you ever holiday shopped on Black Friday?
17. Have you ever holiday shopped on Cyber Monday?
18. Have you ever been rude to a store employee while holiday shopping?
19. Have you ever demanded to speak to a manager while holiday shopping?
20. Have you ever gotten into a screaming match with another customer while holiday shopping?
21. Have you ever gotten into a physical fight with another customer while holiday shopping?
22. Have you ever swiped something from another shopper’s cart while holiday shopping?
23. Have you ever started crying while holiday shopping?
24. Have you ever shoplifted while holiday shopping?
25. Have you ever had sex (with a significant other, store worker, complete stranger, etc.) while holiday shopping?

Tell us your total in the comments!

The Twelve Days of Whatever

On the first day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the second day of Whatever, my true love gave to me –
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.



On the third day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – three more polls,
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – four Mikeys licking, three more polls,
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the sixth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses…
four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the seventh day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – seven schlongs a swingin’,
six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls,
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the eighth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Eight Tams a riding,
seven schlongs a swingin’, six poos a ploppin, five naked asses…
four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the ninth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Nine commenters commenting,
eight Tams a riding, seven schlongs a swingin’, six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses…
four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the tenth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Ten armless Adams,
nine commenters commenting, eight Tams a riding, seven schlongs a swingin’,
six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls,
two puntabupedes and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the eleventh day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Eleven pissy puddles, ten armless Adams, nine commenter commenting, eight Tams a riding, seven schlongs a swingin’, six poos a ploppin’,
five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes
and a parakeet in a pear tree.

On the twelfth day of Whatever, my true love gave to me – Twelve boxers boxing, eleven pissy puddles, ten armless Adams, nine commenters commenting, eight Tams a riding, seven schlongs a swingin’,
six poos a ploppin’, five naked asses… four Mikeys licking, three more polls, two puntabupedes
and a parakeet in a pear tree.

Happy holidays to my C&R family!