Tag Archives: fall

HAVE YOU EVER … Watched Too Much TV?

tv_graphicsI know that I watch too much TV … I’d watch it 24/7 if I could! Reality, drama, horror, gossip, comedy … I just can’t get enough! I even quit blogging so I could watch MORE TV! So let’s gauge how overboard we’re all going with the boob-tube. The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever yelled at someone for spoiling a show?
2. Have you ever not gone out with friends/family because you were going to stay in and watch an anticipated TV episode.
3. Have you ever cried because a television character died?
4. Have you ever printed out the new fall TV schedule so you could highlight what you were going to watch?
5. Have you ever had a show you absolutely needed to fall asleep to?
6. Have you ever written fan fiction that was based on a TV show?
7. Have you ever written letters to a television network demanding that they un-cancel a show?
8. Have you ever felt guilty about giving up on shows, even though they stopped being good a long time ago?
9. Have you ever watched an entire season of TV in a single weekend?
10. Have you ever watched beyond the first season of Glee?
11. Have you ever watched beyond the first season of Heroes?
12. Have you ever purchased a season or series of TV, just to keep it on the back burner in case you ever ran out of current shows to watch?
13. Have you ever loaned TV series DVDs to someone and insist they watch it immediately cause OMG it’s so good?
14. Have you ever finally caved on watching a show that everyone talks about and then get blown away by how awesome it is?
15. Was that show Mad Men?
16. …or Breaking Bad?
17. Have you ever deprived yourself of sleep so you could watch one more show?
18. Have you ever recorded entire seasons of a TV show onto DVD or VHS (or similar media)?
19. Have you ever had DVR conflicts because you want to watch more than two shows at the same time?
20. Have you ever argued with someone about which TV theme song is best?
21. Have you ever sung the Charles in Charge theme song as an opera?
22. Have you ever dreamed that a studio would actually spend money to make a Veronica Mars movie?
23. Have you ever tried to figure out who the final Cylon was?
24. Have you ever wished you lived in Stars Hollow, the fictional town where Gilmore Girls took place?
25. Have you ever gotten mad that nothing on Lost really mattered?

Tell us your total in the comments!

Thanks to Craig, for basically writing this entire post!


Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 1

And so it begins! Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser begins today. Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our nine contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season! Yay!

Meet the contestants!

The whole idea for BC&RL started with me telling Adam that I was officially fat and needed to lose weight to be healthy again. Well…I’m hoping three times really is a charm. Plus…I have a lot of room to go if I’m going to fit into that size 6 wedding gown by Vera Wang this fall.

I’m so fu¢king fat that none of my clothes fit. My goal is to lose one thousand pounds. mmmm cookies.

Polt here, and looking over the rules for this thing, I see today I need discuss my reason for participating and what I hope to accomplish. Okay, both can be answered simply by looking at my most recent photo. Yes, I have put on a few pounds since the 2nd edition of this, thanks for noticing and while I ain’t much to look at, at least I’m purple. Anyway, I’m playing along this time because a) I played in the first two and I like being consistent, b) someone has to come in last, and I’ve got broads shoulders (and hips and stomach, etc) so I can take it, c) I’d hate to see Adam cry if not a lot of people played along and d) I might just end up losing a few pounds out of this. And what do I hope to accomplish? Well, some weight loss, I suppose, but I don’t have high hopes for it. No I’m not being negative, just pragmatic. Good luck to everyone!

My doctor has been hassling encouraging me to lose weight for a while. And while I know what I ought to do, having the motivation to actually do it is hard. “Eat right and exercise”; yeah, it might add ten years to my life, but (a) that’s ten years of eating right and exercising, and (b) it’s the LAST ten years it adds on. Give me ten more years as a thirty-year-old, and I might be interested! Anyways, it is something I’ve been meaning to get around to doing, and BC&RL3 seemed like it would be way more fun than going to Weight Watchers’ meetings. Here’s a photo of me with my body double, Alfred Hitchcock.

This is my inspiration for joining BC&RL3. I convinced myself I could still wear those jeans, I had just chosen not to. HAHAHAHA Oh right. Denial is a wonderful thing. My goals is to get back into those jeans and maybe even the pair a size smaller I admitted I couldn’t wear. Hopefully being accountable to the world wide web will help me stay on track, that along with the encouragement of the other contestants.

Michelle M.
I’m participating because I need to lose some damn weight!

I kept going after last season and eventually lost seventy pounds. After taking the last few months off, I’m ready to lose the last bits of fat.

Mr. Sombrero
Mr. Sombrero needs to lose weight because his sombrero doesn’t fit him any more.

Predict a winner in the comments!

Fast Five

Amidst all the elegies for Steve Jobs, there were actually a few really awesome things that happened on the net this week. I am here to remind you of those things. So what did the Steve Jobs facilitated internet have that was so cool this week? Just you wait…

First up is actually a blast from the recent past. With 30 Rock on hiatus until January, I am crazy desperate for some zany, whacky Liz Lemony fun. And Netflix has it for me. The fifth season of that show is currently available for instant streaming and I am loving it. You should too!

When I’m not getting entertained by netflix (which I am relying on due to the lackluster fall lineup), I am also watching kids do cute stuff on the internet. Take this little cutie from the UK for example. I didn’t even know what a Nikki Minaj was until I saw her singing the crap out of it. Normal Mikey would have issues with the hypersexualization of the young girl, but let’s be honest…I am drunk when I am writing this.

Did you get the memo? It is finally freaking fall! I love fall so much I want to take it behind the middle school and turn it into more episodes of 30 Rock. It is cool and crisp and clear and I don’t sweat every time I touch the outdoors. Let’s party!

Why does partying always lead to porn? I dunno, but it just does. This is a parody of a classic porn film. Sure we could probably talk for hours about what exactly makes a “classic porn film” since porn isn’t really about art or history, but we are going to avoid that. Let’s just enjoy snarky gay dudes narrating Coach.

Speaking of really low culture, let’s talk Glee. So if you didn’t notice, I have stopped watching this particular train wreck and I couldn’t be happier. I love that I don’t have to deal with the plot inconsistencies and the really random characterization. Call me a snob, but I do want my zany, musical tv show to actually believe in its own world long enough to keep it the same for the next episode.

Ok…so there you go kiddies: 30 Rock on Netflix, Cutie singing Nikki Minaj, Fall, Coach, and Goodbye Glee. What’s on your list?

Have You Ever … In The Autumn?!

Autumn began last Friday, September 23rd. With its cool, crisp weather and stunning natural beauty, autumn is the perfect time of year to enjoy the great outdoors. From weekend trips to local recreation, opportunities for fall fun abound! What have you done in the autumn? Let’s find out.

The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have you ever?!

1. Have you ever raked leaves?
2. Have you ever jumped into a pile of leaves?
3. Have you ever gone apple picking?
4. Have you ever consumed warm apple cider?
5. Have you ever made caramel apples?
6. Have you ever gone pumpkin picking?
7. Have you ever baked a pumpkin pie from scratch?
8. Have you ever planted mums in the autumn?
9. Have you ever purchased and decorated with gourds?
10. Have you ever hung Indian corn on your front door?
11. Have you ever made a scarecrow?
12. Have you ever decorated and filled a cornucopia?
13. Have you ever decorate the outside of your home with hay bales and/or corn stalks?
14. Have you ever driven more than an hour away just to see some beautiful fall foliage?
15. Have you ever gone for a hike in the autumn?
16. Have you ever gone camping in the autumn?
17. Have you ever warmed up next to a campfire in the autumn?
18. Have you ever posed for a photo in front of colorful fall foliage?
19. Have you ever gone to a haunted house?
20. Have you ever gone on a hayride?
21. Have you ever gone to a corn maze?
22. Have you ever gone to a harvest festival?
23. Have you ever dressed like a pilgrim?
24. Have you ever spent a Sunday watching football?
25. Have you ever debated whether or not “autumn” is a better word than “fall”?

Tell us your total and your exciting upcoming autumn plans in the comments.

Stink Bugs Have Invaded My Life!

I’ve had an idea for a blog post about stink bugs buzzing around in my head for a couple weeks now. Get it? Buzzing. Ha! …Right… so anyway, I’ve avoided actually writing and posting this idea because I feel like people won’t care about it.  I’m pretty sure that Stink bugs are only infesting the general area where I live — western New Jersey and eastern Pennsylvania.  But alas, the time has come for me to bore the shit out of you.  Behold! My Stink Bug Post:

The type of stink bug that is annoying the crap out of me is the Brown Marmorated Stink Bug, which was accidentally introduced into the United States from Asia sometime between 1996 and 1999 in Allentown, Pennsylvania [which is about an hour from my house]. These insects are pests of agriculture and landscapes, feeding on a wide variety fruits and seeds and berries produced by trees and ornamental plants. In recent years they have become a major pest of homes & office buildings entering buildings in the fall and appearing indoors until they exit the following summer. Their name comes from the odor emitted from scent glands when disturbed or crushed.

Here are a few of my major gripes:

1. I’m vegan, and I don’t kill bugs.  I don’t kill animals for food, and I don’t kill them when they’re crawling around my apartment.  I’m also my department’s ‘bug catcher’ — the guy that all the girls scream for when a stink bug shows up on or around their desk.  And lately there have been five stink bug invaders (or more!) each day for the last week or so.

2. They smell awful. For a long time, I never smelled their bad odor.  I had even started catching them in my hand.  But a week or so ago, a grumpy stink bug doused my hand with his noxious odor.  Not even repeated washings and Purell could ease my unhappy nose.

3. They’re freak’n everywhere.  One of my coworkers got home from work last summer and was greeted by 50-100 stink bugs swarming all around her bedroom.  Faced with no other option, her vacuum cleaner bag soon needed changing.

4. They fly like idiots. Every once and a while, these little demons take to the air in flight.  But they’re awful at flying!  They buzz and sputter in circles, and seem to have no way of landing other than crashing into a wall and falling to the floor.

5. They seem to live forever. I found a few bugs from last summer bouncing around the bottom of my window air conditioner box this year.  They must have been hibernating, because I swear that one of them was buzzing around my bedroom a few minutes later.

They’re everywhere, and they cannot be stopped!  Take cover before it’s too late!

Have You Ever… In The Snow?!

Have you ever been a little less than wonderful in the winter wonderland?  Today’s snow-themed Have You Ever?! quiz is going to find out.  For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point.  When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments section.

Have you ever…

1. Have you ever gone sledding?
2. Have you ever gone ice skating?
3. Have you ever made a snow angel?
4. Have you ever fallen on ice?
5. Have you ever been in a snowball fight?
6. Have you ever thrown a ‘yellow’ snowball at someone?
7. Have you ever had frostbite?
8. Have you ever gone snowmobiling?
9. Have you ever regretted driving in the snow?
10. Have you ever been in a car that got stuck in the snow?
11. Have you ever been in a car accident because of the snow?
12. Have you ever discovered a lot of shrinkage after you or your man spent a lot of time outside in the cold?
13. Have you ever pretended to be sick or lied so someone would shovel the snow for you?
14. Have you ever faked a heart attack so you could stop shoveling?
15. Have you ever missed work or school because of the snow?
16. Have you ever blamed the snow and played hooky from school or work when you could have made it in?
17. Have you ever been naked by yourself outside in the snow?
18. Have you ever been naked with one or more other people in the snow?
19. Have you ever urinated or defecated outside in the snow?
20. Have you ever built an anatomically correct snow-person?
21. Have you ever gone swimming outdoors during the winter (like a member of the Polar Bear Club)?
22. Have you ever had sex in an igloo or ice hotel?
23. Have you ever had sex outdoors while it was snowing?
24. Have you ever fallen through thin ice and were in danger of losing your life?
25. Have you ever murdered someone by stabbing them with an icicle? (The perfect crime!)

Did u behave yourself? Tell us the truth! Post your score in the comments.

Just Another Manic Monday

Halloween is over! That means the real holidays begin!!

Isn’t everyone really excited for pie season? Pumpkin? Apple? Pear? Peach…well not peach, but you know what I mean! I know that Adam is really excited about them.

Babies are the most adorable thing since forever! I was at a party with a baby on Saturday night and he made me get in touch with my crazy nesting instincts. If anyone wants to make a baby, please let me know.

Don’t you love the fact that it is cold again outside? I love the fall! I know I’ve mentioned it on the blog before, but fall is amazing. Leaves changing colors and falling off trees and the air is lovely, cold and brisk.

Aren’t you glad that baseball is almost over? I know we still have to put up with football, but the stupid stick and ball thing is done. I can safely say that I don’t care who wins just that they shut up about it.

Are you all watching Modern Family? It is the funniest show I’ve seen in forever. How did I not watch it last year? How can then they make me laugh at every word? I now know that I am going as a gargul next year for Halloween.

Weren’t you all really disappointed with Glee‘s attempt at Rocky Horror? Heavy Sweating, really? Ick.

Do you have your ballot figured out for Tuesday’s election? My prediction is that the Democrats lose the House but barely keep the Senate. Sooo in short, Obama will have an excuse for not getting anything done now.

My feet are cold. Literally not metaphorically. I wish they would be warmer.

Don’t you miss our “have you ever” posts? Adam is really slacking off on thinking up some pervy questions to ask you.

Well those are some of the really random thoughts that are running through my brain today. What thoughts are making your Monday manic?