Tag Archives: exist

Have You Ever … On Your Birthday?!

I’ve written so many of these damn Have You Ever quizzes that I actually searched C&R and Googled to make sure that I haven’t already written an ‘On Your Birthday’ one. If it does exist, I can’t find it. So here it is! In honor of my upcoming birthday: Have You Ever … On Your Birthday?!

You know the rules but I’ll tell you anyway: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever had a birthday?
2. Have you ever received a crappy gift on your birthday?
3. Have you ever bought yourself a present on your birthday?
4. Have you ever worked on your birthday?
5. Have you ever thrown yourself a party on your birthday?
6. Have you ever been surprised by a birthday party at work on your birthday?
7. Have you ever been surprised by a surprise party on your birthday?
8. Have you ever baked yourself a cake on your birthday?
9. Have you ever received a free meal at a restaurant on your birthday?
10. Have you ever received a free drink at a bar on your birthday?
11. Have you ever turned into a gluttonous cake monster on your birthday?
12. Have you ever thrown up on your birthday?
13. Have you ever been disappointed (for any reason) on your birthday?
14. Have you ever lied about your age on your birthday?
15. Have you ever forgotten your own birthday?
16. Have you ever ignored your birthday and hoped it would just go away?
17. Have you ever cried on your birthday?
18. Have you ever gotten really drunk on your birthday?
19. Have you ever used illegal drugs on your birthday?
20. Have you ever had to spend your birthday alone?
21. Have you ever broken up with someone on your birthday?
22. Have you ever deleted your birthday on Facebook just to see who really remembers your birthday?
23. Have you ever had sex on your birthday?
24. Have you ever received any type of sex act as a birthday gift?
25. Have you ever slept with a prostitute on your birthday?

Tell us your total in the comments!


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It’s a C&R Dance Party!

Forget the CD Exchange (if I don’t participate, it doesn’t exist) let’s have a music exchange right here at Cocky & Rude!  Each time we have a C&R Dance Party, I’ll name a theme for the day and you’ll post your responses in the form of a YouTube video in the comments.  And don’t forget to dance!

Today’s Theme Is: A Song That You’re Embarrassed To Admit You Love
Link us to a YouTube video in the comments and tell us why you picked it.
Feel free to answer more than once!


Mikey, Ty and Mr. Sombrero already know this (because I may or may not have performed it at a recent karaoke party) … but I’m a sucker for the late ’80s to mid ’90s Disney movies!  I know all the words to the songs from The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and a bunch of the other great animated films from that era.  By far, my favorite is A Whole New World from Aladdin.  Here it is, for your viewing pleasure:

Now it’s your turn!

(And by the way, if your video doesn’t post in the comments correctly, FEAR NOT! 
I’ll fix it as soon as I get a chance)


Finding The Perfect Fry

Once upon a time my favorite food was the french fry. When I was a kid, if we went to a fast food restaurant, my go-to meal would be two large fries and a chocolate shake (yikes). Back then, fries were delicious, greasy and salty. Nothing like the “healthier” fries of today (which are hard, dry and tasteless). Why they are trying to make fries “healthier” is a mystery to me. If I wanted to eat something nutritious, it wouldn’t be french fries in the first place.

After eating a few too many dud spuds, I decided to see if there were any good fries out there.
What follows is my quest for the perfect fry.

McDonald’s – Not bad. Not great. They’re best if they’re fresh from the fryer. And you have to eat them before they become cold and hard.

Jack in the Box – They taste almost exactly like McDonald’s.

Burger King – Too crisp, too dry.

Wendy’s – “Natural cut” fries. Too crispy and dry. The sea salt didn’t adhere.

Islands – They’re cut fresh daily and supposedly “cooked to perfection.”  If “perfection” means so dry the salt bounces off them, then I guess they are. I wouldn’t order them again.

T.G.I. Friday’s used to have some pretty good fries – with a yummy seasoning. But not anymore.
Pass.

Chili’s – meh.

Carl’s Junior – I need some more adjectives for “dry” and “tasteless”.

Callahan’s – We usually just go here for the beer. If I have enough to drink, I usually want some french fries. Theirs are okay. But only if they’re fresh from the fryer. The cajun spice helps.

Applebee’s – Maybe the best of the bunch. Not fantastic, but not disappointing.

Arby’s – they only have the curly fries in my location (which are almost an entirely different animal, due to the seasoning), but I tried them anyway. They were greasy (which is good) but had been in the fryer a little too long (which made them too hard). I couldn’t taste the seasoning on my batch at all.

Brazen BBQ in Hillcrest – Man, were these bad. They were like the potato sticks you buy in a can from the grocery store. Sadness.

Brewski’s is a little hamburger place in my neighborhood. The burgers are good, but the fries aren’t.

Fatburger – The fat fries are pretty good. But only fresh from the fryer. You can see in the picture the shine of grease on the fry. That is always a good sign.

Five Guys – I went here with Ryan. They give you a TON of fries, which is great. And from the picture, they look nice and greasy. I was too busy yapping to remember how they tasted. I know I didn’t finish them all, but that was due to trying not too look like a pig in front of the svelte Ryan, and not because of the taste.

Red Robin – Pretty good when fresh. But not outstanding. They say the baskets of fries are “endless”, but they only put in about 5 at a time.

Sammy’s Woodfired Pizza – Dry, tasteless and disappointing. Boo.

SeaWorld – Surprisingly good. You have to eat them quickly, before the sea gulls try to swipe them.

Smashburger – These fries were horrible. So bland and dry. I didn’t even want to finish them. I threw about half of them away.

In-N-Out – Their fries are cut right in front of you, so you’d think they’d be fresh and delicious. But they’re just hard little bits of tasteless potato.

Fuddruckers fries are pretty darn good. They’re nice and soft and have a tasty seasoning on them.

Sonic – They were good. There were a few really good soggy, greasy ones in there.

As you can see, this Sonic fry passes the flaccid test.

Now that I’ve sampled so many of the fries in my area, I’ve come to the conclusion that the perfect fry no longer exists. And that french fries are no longer my favorite food. And that I need to start eating salad.

This post is dedicated to Fat Betty.

Blam!

So what french fries are good in your neck of the woods? Do you think I’ll ever eat a french fry again? Did you read this whole post? It was really long. What is your favorite food? Let me know in comments!


It’s a C&R Dance Party!

Forget the CD Exchange (if I don’t participate, it doesn’t exist) let’s have a music exchange right here at Cocky & Rude!  Each time we have a C&R Dance Party, I’ll name a theme for the day and you’ll post your responses in the form of a YouTube video in the comments.  And don’t forget to dance!

Today’s Theme Is: Your Favorite Music Video! 
Link us to a YouTube video in the comments and tell us why it’s your favorite.
Feel free to answer more than once!


I don’t think I’ve ever seen a music video that was better than R.E.M.’s Everybody Hurts.  The sadness, the subtitle thoughts, the suicidal traffic jam … what could be better?  Plus it’s a fantastic song!  Check it out:

Now it’s your turn!

(And by the way, if your video doesn’t post in the comments correctly, FEAR NOT! 
I’ll fix it as soon as I get a chance)

It’s a C&R Dance Party!

Forget the CD Exchange (if I don’t participate, it doesn’t exist) let’s have a music exchange right here at Cocky & Rude!  Each time we have a C&R Dance Party, I’ll name a theme for the day and you’ll post your responses in the form of a YouTube video in the comments.  And don’t forget to dance!

Today’s Theme Is: A Song That Evokes A Memory? 
Link us to a YouTube video in the comments and tell us your memory.
Feel free to answer more than once!


My second job was at a small neighborhood pet shop.  At any given moment there were probably only 2 to 3 employees working, so we were responsible for a whole host of duties (everything from customer service and running the register to cleaning animal cages).  My boss always made us listen to an oldies music radio station, because she felt that the songs were inoffensive and were preferred by our average customer base.  The volume was always pretty low, but when you were cleaning tanks in our fish room, you could always hear it pretty well.  Even though it’s been about 12 years since I worked there, certain oldies hits like this one always remind me of cleaning fish tanks.

Now it’s your turn!

A Ginger Secret EXPOSED!

All young gingers are given the “don’t mate with other gingers!” speech.

But ginger females,

and ginger males never listen.

They are drawn to each other.

Soon they lay together in sexual union.

And before long, the female ginger is impregnated.

From her loins will spring a Super Ginger.

The Super Ginger will grow rapidly.

The Super Ginger will mature.

But it shall never go outdoors to enjoy the sunshine.

For Super Gingers do not tan.

Super Gingers do not even experience sunburn (as non-Super Gingers are often do).

When a Super Ginger ventures into the sunlight, it will burst into flames.

And as the Super Ginger burns,

The normal children laugh,

and laugh,

and laugh.

When the flames die down, all that remains is a gingerbread cookie.

These gingerbread cookies are delicious.

And are quickly gobbled up.

Wiping from the Earth all evidence that such a foul beast had ever existed.