Tag Archives: discuss

Advice From The Expert… ASK ADAM!

It seems that people are always pestering me for my expert advice.  Truth be told, I’m awesome at everything.  I know all of the answers.  All you have to do is ask.  That’s why I’m introducing my new advice column: Advice From The Expert… Ask Adam! 


Dear Adam: What should I make for dinner tonight?
Signed, Starving For Supper

How about a nice micro-green salad topped with a simple ginger and garlic-spiked orange glazed tempeh!  Nom!


Dear Adam: I’ve always wanted a boyfriend who was young, cute, and rich. But I only got two out of three. Should I hold out for the full package or should I settle for hot but poor?
Signed, Should I Settle?

How many young, cute and rich guys do you know that aren’t characters on Gossip Girl? Be happy that you landed 2/3 of the perfect man!


Dear Adam: I know you’re not supposed to wear white after Labor Day, but what are you proscribed from wearing after Memorial Day?
Signed, Fashion Backwards

When in doubt … just wear plaid!


Dear Adam: How can I get my husband to clean his bathroom more often?
Signed, Wedded Pissed

Two words: WITHHOLD SEX. It’s the best way to get whatever you want!  That bathroom will be sparkling in no time!


Dear Adam: A couple of vegans moved in across the street. Should I be afraid of their aggressive cult-like ways?
Signed, Confused Carnivore

Trust me, vegans are just like everyone else! … but just to be safe, make sure to lock your doors and windows after dark.


Dear Adam: My younger brother is a great guy but has no self-esteem. His lack of confidence has kept him from doing anything with his life. He’s in a dead end job, hasn’t had a relationship in years, and his circle of friends has dwindles more and more each year. I want to encourage him, but he refuses to discuss his plans or goals with anyone. I just want him to be happy, but he clearly is not. What should I do?
Signed, Sibling Misery

Don’t worry, he’ll grow up eventually. Can I have his number?


Dear Adam: What the hell should I do with my life?
Signed, Miss Direction

Become a prostitute! Prostitutes make TONS of money!  You’ll be rich in not time at all!


Have a question for Adam? Email him today!

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Oscar Contest Results-O-Rama!

Did you watch the Oscar awards on Sunday?  The whole show?  And you managed to stay awake?!  AMAZING!!  You deserve an award.  But too bad!  There’s only one award that we’re handing out today… the award for the 2nd Annual Cocky & Rude Oscar Contest!  This year’s winner correctly predicted 20 of the 24 Academy Award categories.  AND NOW … without further ado … (after all, why wait until the end of the post when the winner is someone who has never commented on C&R before?), the winner is: Bart Randall from Los Angeles, California!  Yippee!  Hurray!  Woohoo!!!  Congratulations!

Already in the mail and jetting its way to California is an assortment of seven movie theater-style candies, two packs of microwave popcorn and a brand new DVD of Lindsay Lohan in Walt Disney’s Herbie Fully Loaded!  Wow, what a great prize!

So how did I tabulate the results?  In a giant messy spreadsheet!  Check it out!

Here’s the full roundup of the results:

My favorite two category results were Best Cinematography and Best Actor in a Supporting Role.  Why, you ask?

It’s because 100% of the people that entered the 2nd Annual Cocky & Rude Oscar Contest chose the Best Cinematography winner incorrectly.  You’re all dummies!  (And so am I!)  In the Best Supporting Actor category, nearly everyone picked the correct winner (which was Christopher Plummer for Beginners) — EXCEPT Tam and Polt.  Ha!  They stink!  Lolz!

Each year we invite contest participants to predict the Best and Worst Dressed Academy Award celebrity attendee.  Since these categories are subjective, they do not count towards final scores.

This Year’s Best Dressed Predictions:

Meryl Streep, Viola Davis and Michelle Williams all tied for Best Dressed with three votes each.  Emma Stone was next with two votes, and then everyone else tied with one vote each.

This Year’s Worst Dressed Predictions:

Meryl Streep won Worst Dressed with three votes.  Glenn Close, Michelle Williams, Rooney Mara and Sacha Baron Cohen tied for second place with two votes each.  Everyone else tied with one vote each.

Congratulations to Meryl Streep and Michelle Williams for being our (predicted) Best AND Worst Dressed celebrities!  And Congratulations to Bart Randall for winning the 2nd Annual Cocky & Rude Oscar Contest! So what did you think of this year’s Oscar Awards?  Any surprises?  Who was the best & worst dressed of the night?  What did you think of Jennifer Lopez’s nip, Angelina Jolie’s emaciated leg, Billy Crystal’s break out from the old folks home, and the rest of Sunday night’s silliness?  Any thoughts for next year?  Who should host?  Do you even care about the Oscars?  Let’s discuss in the comments!!