Tag Archives: craig is a loser

HAVE YOU EVER … Watched Too Much TV?

tv_graphicsI know that I watch too much TV … I’d watch it 24/7 if I could! Reality, drama, horror, gossip, comedy … I just can’t get enough! I even quit blogging so I could watch MORE TV! So let’s gauge how overboard we’re all going with the boob-tube. The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever yelled at someone for spoiling a show?
2. Have you ever not gone out with friends/family because you were going to stay in and watch an anticipated TV episode.
3. Have you ever cried because a television character died?
4. Have you ever printed out the new fall TV schedule so you could highlight what you were going to watch?
5. Have you ever had a show you absolutely needed to fall asleep to?
6. Have you ever written fan fiction that was based on a TV show?
7. Have you ever written letters to a television network demanding that they un-cancel a show?
8. Have you ever felt guilty about giving up on shows, even though they stopped being good a long time ago?
9. Have you ever watched an entire season of TV in a single weekend?
10. Have you ever watched beyond the first season of Glee?
11. Have you ever watched beyond the first season of Heroes?
12. Have you ever purchased a season or series of TV, just to keep it on the back burner in case you ever ran out of current shows to watch?
13. Have you ever loaned TV series DVDs to someone and insist they watch it immediately cause OMG it’s so good?
14. Have you ever finally caved on watching a show that everyone talks about and then get blown away by how awesome it is?
15. Was that show Mad Men?
16. …or Breaking Bad?
17. Have you ever deprived yourself of sleep so you could watch one more show?
18. Have you ever recorded entire seasons of a TV show onto DVD or VHS (or similar media)?
19. Have you ever had DVR conflicts because you want to watch more than two shows at the same time?
20. Have you ever argued with someone about which TV theme song is best?
21. Have you ever sung the Charles in Charge theme song as an opera?
22. Have you ever dreamed that a studio would actually spend money to make a Veronica Mars movie?
23. Have you ever tried to figure out who the final Cylon was?
24. Have you ever wished you lived in Stars Hollow, the fictional town where Gilmore Girls took place?
25. Have you ever gotten mad that nothing on Lost really mattered?

Tell us your total in the comments!

Thanks to Craig, for basically writing this entire post!


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Have You Ever … Gambled?!

Gambling is the wagering of money or something of material value (referred to as “the stakes”) on an event with an uncertain outcome with the primary intent of winning additional money and/or material goods. Are you a ramblin’ gamblin’ man (or woman)? Let’s find out!

You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever legally gambled?
2. Have you ever illegally gambled?
3. Have you ever purchased a lottery ticket?
4. Have you ever played bingo?
5. Have you ever participated in an office gambling pool? (lottery tickets, sports betting, etc.)
6. Have you ever bet on sports?
7. Have you ever bet on horse races?
8. Have you ever bet on dog races?
9. Have you ever bet on non-sports entertainment? (Oscars, American Idol, etc.)
10. Have you ever gambled on a tile game? (Mahjong, dominos, etc.)
11. Have you ever gambled at a casino?
12. Have you ever gambled at an Indian casino?
13. Have you ever gambled on a cruise ship or party boat?
14. Have you ever gambled online?
15. Have you ever played a table game at a casino?
16. Have you ever played an electronic gaming machine at a casino? (slot machine, video poker, etc.)
17. Have you ever played a random number ticket game a casino? (Keno, simulated racing, etc.)
18. Have you ever counted cards?
19. Have you ever used a bookie?
20. Have you ever lost more than $1000 while gambling?
21. Have you ever won more than $1000 while gambling?
22. Have you ever won more than $10,000 while gambling?
23. Have you ever gotten in trouble for gambling? (police, Mafia, etc.)
24. Have you ever had or been suspected of having a gambling addiction?
25. Have you ever stolen money to fuel your gambling habit or gambling debt?

Ante up and tell us your total in the comments!

Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER

C&R Fight Club Round 2: Michelle M. vs. Captain Kirk vs. Polt!

Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club: ROUND TWO!  The rules to the game are simple.  Each week we’ll re-introduce our fighters.  We’ll give them each a chance to speak their mind.  Then we’ll put the results to vote.  You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…


Each week of Round Two, we’ll drop three Round One winners into the ring and see who remains standing after a 24-hour Cocky & Rude Fight Club vote.  Today’s contestants are: Michelle M., Captain Kirk and Polt.

If you remember all the way back to April 14th, you’ll remember our first Cocky & Rude Fight Club battle, which pitted our beloved Michelle M. against the media mogul, Oprah Winfrey.  In the end, Michelle M. destroyed Oprah with 87% of the votes.

“After weeks of exhaustive training (imagining workout montages and putting on solid muscle fat) I feel I am ready for Round 2! I WILL avenge my darling Craig by K.O.ing the crap out of Kirk. He’s ancient and fat and his toupee and girdle will be his undoing. I think of Polt as a lover and not a fighter, so as long as I pay a few half-naked Asianswithhairthings to sit on the sidelines and distract him I am golden. Plus, I’m counting on the fact that Mama Polt taught her boy to never hit a lady. I AM TOO A LADY, SHUT UP! Anyway, if none of the above works, I will just unleash the Power of PMS. VICTORY IS MINE!!” -Michelle M.

In our shocking second Cocky & Rude Fight Club battle, Puntabulous’s Craig faced off against Star Trek’s Captain Kirk.  And in a shocking turn of events, Captain Kirk beat Craig with 52% of the vote.  Craig has the distinction of being the only real contestant in the history of C&R Fight Club to lose his battle against a fictional or celebrity contestant.

“Captain’s log, Star date 201108.18.  I’ve never trusted Polt and Michelle M., and I never will. I could never forgive them for the death of my boy.  Cocky & Rude Fight Club: the final frontier. These are the voyages of CAPTAIN MOTHERFUCK’N KIRK!!! My five-year mission: to destroy Polt & Michelle M., and win C&R Fight Club!! I  KHAAANNNN’T LOSE!!” -Captain James Tiberius Kirk

The third C&R Fight Club battle was a duel between the greatest queen that North America has ever seen and the United Kingdom’s actual Queen.  Polt easily beat Queen Elizabeth II to a bloody pulp when he earned 95% of the vote.

“Me versus Michelle M. & Kirk?  I should be worried right?  One is guy who defeated Craiggers and the other is Michelle M. (nuff said there, eh?).  But am i worried?  HELL NO!  Kirk doesnt bother me cause I know Battlestar Galactica kicks Star Trek’s ass any day of the week, so I’ll just channel some hard core Admiral Adama anger and take him right out!  And as for Michelle M., well no one wants to go up against her, do they, cause she’s so sweet and nice and Michelle M.-ey.  But I know the truth.  I know how to beat her: I’ll get a group of noisy kindergarten kids on one side of her and a tipsy VUBOQ with bottles of his homemade alcoholic creations on the other and then, while she’s distracted, I’ll just overwhelm her with the purpleness of my being!!!!  MWahahahahahaha!!!!   And if that doesn’t work, I’ll ask her very nicely, pretty please, with sugar and a cherry on top, to just lay down and pretend I beat her so that I don’t have to live with the embarrassment of being defeated by a woman smaller than the lower half of my right leg.    BRING IT ON, BIIIIIIIII-OTCHESSSSSSS!!!!!!” -Polt


Who will win in the battle of  Michelle M. vs. Captain Kirk vs. Polt?  There’s only one rational way to decide who will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.

Check back on Sunday for the results!

Thanks to Michelle M. & Polt for your assistance with this post!

C&R Fight Club: MR. SOMBRERO Defeats the REDNECK BORDER PATROLMAN!

If the results of this week’s Cocky & Rude Fight Club are any indication, the United States should just fling open its borders and never look back.  Or at least on the Mexico side … we’re not quite sure about those Canadians just yet.  In this week’s Fight Club bout, we saw Mr. Sombrero face off against a Redneck Border Patrolman.  Mr. Sombrero DESTROYED the Minuteman with no effort at all — as soon as we started the fight, the hate-spewing, Sarah Palin lover ran back home to Texas and hid under his bed.  Mr. Sombrero won with an amazing 151 votes (that’s 99% of the popular vote); the Redneck earned only 2 votes (1% of the popular vote).  C&R voters came out in force this week — it’s the most votes for a single Fight Club bout we’ve seen since our second battle, where Captain Kirk defeated the disgraced blogger, Craig.

Congratulations, Mr. Sombrero!