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Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 7

Our fifth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate six weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

Last week we took a look at a single meal that each of our contestants submitted. This week we’re taking a look inside each of their refrigerators. Just what are they hiding inside? We’re about to find out!


Mikey
In my fridge are a wild and crazy assortment of take out food products. With Ty away for work, I have indulged my inner bachelor with all the food ordering options Brooklyn has to offer. Please note the half eaten piece of carrot cake (gross) and the assorted condiments that I save from my meals and eventually throw out.


TwoPi
Apparently I’ve found a time machine, and managed to reverse what little progress I’d made so far in the competition. Time to reassess and regroup for next week. As for the fridge… From the top going down, reading left to right: We store cereal, dishwasher detergent, and pain medication on top of the fridge. I didn’t open up the freezer, but had I done so, you’d see ice cube trays and assorted frozen fruit, a few kinds of frozen pasta (ravioli mostly, for my kids mostly), and coffee grounds stored in the door. On the front of the freezer: a few photos of friends and their children, various coupons and papers, and fridge magnets, including our Puntabulous Memorial Magnet. Top shelf of the fridge: On the left, mostly jars, mostly condiments. On the right, beverages, primarily half-gallon glass bottles of milk, from a local dairy, and some fruit and veg juices. Next layer: cheeses (in the drawer), eggs (and dyed hard-boiled eggs in the cardboard container) Lowest shelf: Strawberries, apple sauce, juices, and some leftovers in the white bowl with blue lid. (Chicken and veg stir fry, if memory serves me correctly). Low bins: various shredded cheeses and tortillas on the left, various vegetables on the right. Door: The obligatory collection of salad dressings, steak sauce, and other random condiments, butter in the butter bin, random adult beverages on the lowest shelf.


Polt
So this week, we’re doing our fridge photo. Mine is now filled with stuff on my diet: meat (steak, sausages, ham) and salad stuff (lettuce, carrots, celery, cheese, hard boiled eggs, etc) and plenty of condiments (ketchup, A-1 Steak sauce, several different kinds of salad dressing). The yogurt’s been there a few weeks, too many carbs for me to eat too often. Diet Coke. Oh and that bottle of wine’s been there since before Christmas…have to find just the right time to drink that.


Ryan
A lot of the food here is actually my roommate’s, especially in the freezer. My single serving ice creams are just off camera in the freezer door. The other items of note are the blue containers filled with the beans that I cooked last night ready to be taken with me to work.


Tam
My fridge is usually filled with pretty healthy stuff, lots of cheese products, meats, fruits, veggies and things for lunches like juice boxes, pudding, fruit cups, etc. Also lots of random stuff like pickles, salad dressing, condiments. And usually leftovers of some kind, we always seem to have leftovers.


Mr. Sombrero
Yeah, there’s mostly veggie and dairy action goin’ on in my refridge. Some soy and hummus goodies in between. And no, that’s not dried up poop, that’s a ginger root. Also, some cat food for Mr. Mini Sombrero.


Michelle M.

This is pretty much how the fridge always looks. Missing are containers of leftovers. I cook “real meals” about twice a week. Other nights we eat leftovers. The two nights a week Harry plays hockey, I usually have soup or rice. Weekends we go out for dinner or scrounge around in the cupboards. The container in the back is ground flax seed (which I always forget to sprinkle on stuff). The beer is Harry’s, I drink the zinfandel. Other stuff you see are condiments, salad dressing, salsa (is salsa a condiment?), applesauce, fruit, veggies, salad, assorted juices and water, butter (boo!) and soda (boo!). Pretty healthy for the most part. I’m glad Adam didn’t ask for a picture of the freezer. That’s where the thin mints, tater tots and ice cream live.


Adam
I admit it: My fridge usually isn’t this empty. I usually go grocery shopping on Sunday, but since last Sunday was some random Christian holiday, my grocery store was closed. So this week I’m just going to starve! Here’s what I have… Freezer door: frozen corn, peas, broccoli and Brussels sprouts. Freezer: frozen pitas and English muffins, 2 leftover frozen black bean burgers, and ice cube tray storage. Fridge door: ketchup, jelly, a few miscellaneous condiments, iced tea, seltzer water, almond “milk”, garlic, and a giant bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale that I got for my birthday (last July). Fridge: basket containing 3 apples, water, mozzarella-style vegan cheese, leftover pizza sauce, hummus, 2 whole wheat pitas, tofu, tempeh, and a bottle of diet root beer (hiding behind the water) that I can’t drink because I stopped drinking soda. Woohoo!


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

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Have You Ever… Annoyed Tam?!

In a comment on last week’s Have You Ever?! quiz, Tam lamented, “Nothing pisses me off more than baggers who put 3 items in every bag. I put it on the conveyor belt grouped by item so is it really so hard to put them in the bag in that order. All the frozen stuff in one, cans in another? Is that difficult? Especially now that I have to pay .5 per bag. I have been known to compliment checkers on their bagging skills if they do a great job. Okay, it would appear I have issues. Deep breath.”

Never have I seen a Canadian get so enraged over something so trivial.  Perhaps they aren’t really as nice as they seem … they’re just experts at bottling up their fury?  From this idea (and from Mikey’s suggestion), a super-sneaky Have You Ever?! quiz was born.  Instead of contacting Tam and asking her to make us a list … we simply stalked her Twitter account and easily amassed a list of 25 things that annoy her.  I think you’ll get a kick out of them!  (Just don’t kick her … that might annoy her too!)  You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever?!

1. Have you ever manufactured malfunctioning oven timers?
2. Have you ever confused Tam, causing her to put the wrong date on a review post?
3. Have you ever been responsible for political ads on the TV and radio?
4. Have you ever forced Tam to attend riding lessons every Sunday?
5. Have you ever used the term “pelt” on humans?
6. Have you ever not called Tam back when she was on a deadline?
7. Have you ever been the cause of Tam’s bursitis in her should?
8. Have you ever rescheduled Canadian buses as a way to cut spending?
9. Have you ever designed a phone that only holds a charge for 6 hours or less?
10. Have you ever charged $8.50 for a litre of Evian in a hotel room?
11. Have you ever been the cause of a mess of papers on Tam’s desk?
12. Have you ever required Tam to visit the DMV?
13. Have you ever shot the messenger because you were pissed off over the fact that your supervisor is waaaaaay overstepping her bounds?
14. Have you ever been slow to deliver pizza?
15. Have you ever done anything to Tam that would cause her upper earring to hurt and her ear to burn?
16. Have you ever caused Tam’s throat to hurt when she swallows? (Polt, stop laughing.)
17. Have you ever taken Tam shopping?
18. Have you ever been the cause of disorganization?
19. Have you ever been responsible for briefing notes?
20. Have you ever been to blame for a headache directly over Tam’s left eye?
21. Have you ever hidden Tam’s business cards?
22. Have you ever been the muse behind one of Tam’s big blog promos?
23. Have you ever caused Tam’s Outlook to jam up by creating or utilizing an electronic storage system for filing?
24. Have you ever manufactured cat food that was so delicious that it caused Tam’s cat to ‘pig it down’ and then vomit it back up before even stepping away from the dish?
25. Have you ever dripped rain off the roof outside Tam’s patio doors and caused her to be annoyed by the sound and liken it to Chinese water torture?

I’m guessing that most people will score rather low on this quiz.  But be warned if you score more than a few points…  Everyone’s favorite Canadian may rain down on you with a shower of rage that’s unlike anything the world has ever seen.  Or she may just tweet about it and smile.  Share your quiz results in the comments!