Tag Archives: calorie

Biggest C&R Loser 2013

Biggest_CR_Loser_2013

Welcome to the 9th week of Biggest C&R Loser 2013! This year we’ll be keeping all of the results and placings secret until the end of the contest. We’ll also be pooling our cash to award the 2013 winner the largest prize we’ve ever awarded … a whopping $40!  This week’s theme is “THE LITTLE THINGS YOU HATE” – Everyone is annoyed by something. What’s one of the ‘little things’ that bother our contestants? Maybe it’s the blobby fat hanging over their waist bands or the way that diet food always tastes awful. Let’s find out what bothers them!


Tam

Fruit_Plate

The little things. Little tiny portions. Seriously, look on the package of some of your fave snack foods. 120 calories… for 8 chips. WTF? No one in their right mind eats 8 chips or 1 cookie. Get a grip manufacturers.


TwoPi

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Annoyances? I’m annoyed that my weight seems stuck, just fluctuating between two numbers for week after week. And I’m annoyed that I keep forgetting that there’s a blurb due on Wednesdays, so I’m always dealing with these at the 11th hour.


Adam

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Ya know what bugs me? The fact that junk food is delicious and yet it makes me feel bad about myself! I need liposuction and/or Lap-Band surgery. Too bad I spent my last $5 on this stupid contest.


Michelle M.

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I hate that I have to wear jeans and long sleeved shirts when it’s 90 degrees because I can’t fit into my shorts and tshirts. So maybe I better get going on this weight loss thing. Summer is just around the corner (especially in San Diego).


Mikey

little things

Little things that drive me crazy??? Numbers! All I do now for my diet is think about numbers: calories, grams, and amount of time moving. The only numbers that are not small that are driving me crazy are my weight and my pant size. THE HUNGER IS TO BIG TO BE A LITTLE ANNOYING THING.


Mr. Sombrero

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I hate my job! Was that the question? I’m sick of people and I don’t even have time to diet these days. Somebody pay me to nap and be happy!!


Nathan

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The little thing I hate the most is my own laziness! There is so much that I could accomplish if I were less lazy (the least of which is getting more done for this competition).


Polt

guilt

This week it’s the little things we hate about the contest. Hmm, I don’t think any of them are little. I HATE being fat in the first place. I hate having to diet. I hate having to exercise when I feel like blobbing on the couch. I hate that the food I’m suppose to eat, I don’t like, and the food I LOVE is bad for me. I hate not looking like a male fashion model. I hate Congressional Republicans and their policies. Wait….I digress….

What I hate most, I think, is the guilt. When I go to bed at night and I realize I haven’t walked, even though I had the time. Or when I order a regular Pepsi at a restaurant instead of just water. Or when I eat a whole freaking (small-sized) pizza instead of a salad. I hate the guilt the comes with it. But I’m used to guilt…I kill it by eating a Cadbury caramel egg!


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Who Needs To Diet When You Can Just Bang Instead?

This guy used to be a fat ass until he started masturbating 100 times a day!

A recent article on Shine From Yahoo! has listed the amount of calories you can burn by participating in romantic activities.

Making Out, 30 minutes: 230 calories
Foreplay20 minutes: 87 calories for women, 107 for men
Unclasping a bra with both hands: 8 calories
Unclasping a bra with one hand: 18 calories
Unclasping a bra with your mouth: 67 calories
Strip Tease: 60 calories
Oral Sex: 100 calories
Missionary Position, 10 minutes: 250 calories
Woman on Top, 10 minutes: 300 calories for women, 130 calories for men
Sex Standing Up: Up to 600 calories for both people
Masturbation: Up to 150 calories per session
Orgasm: From 60-100 calories

What does this mean?

Each time you eat three Oreo cookies (160 calories), you should perform one session of oral sex and then do a strip tease.

After eating a scoop of vanilla ice cream (2-1/2 oz. – 170 calories), you should masturbate and then unclasp a bra with on hand.

After binging on an entire jar of peanut butter (18 oz. – 3,200 calories), you should have sex standing up 5 times and then unclasp about 12 bras with one hand.

I think you get the point…

So how many calories have you burned lately? Why do we even bother exercising when we can just bang instead? And after reading this, are you going to rethink your exercise routine?


Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 10

Our ninth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate nine weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

As we begin the 10th week of BC&RL3, we check in with each of our contestants with the simple question: How are you feeling? Good?  Bad?  Indifferent?  Anything? Here’s what they had to say…


Adam
If one word could encompass how I am feeling, it’s FRUSTRATION. I eat well, I exercise (occasionally) and yet it seems to be increasingly difficult for me to lose weight. WTF! I’m so sick of this … I’m ready to just give up and become one of those blobby people in WALL•E.


Michelle M.
I would say I’m feeling optimistic. Even though I seem to have hit a plateau, I’m almost halfway to my goal. And that’s without exercising! My next step is to start moving around so I can drop the rest of the weight before summer begins.


Mikey
I’m a sad puppy because I haven’t lost nearly as much weight as I would like…and because I’m eating too much crap! I blame stress, work, and Adam. Why can’t we live in a world were foods that make you fat tasted like rotting shark flesh instead of one where they taste sooooooo good.


Polt
So this week we’re supposed to discuss how we feel. Me, kinda meh. I’m glad I’m out there walking so much, it makes me feel better physically. I’m a bit disappointed in myself that I don’t stick to the diet regime as strictly as I’d like to be. I’ve me even more disappointed that I can’t seem to overtake Michelle M. and get that purple line on the graph all for myself! I won’t know exactly how good I’ve done, blood sugar wise, until June, but I think I’m doing well. At least I really hope so. But by and large, I’m feeling now with the contest almost over the same way I did before it began: Meh.


Ryan
I’m feeling pretty good. I ended up walking 22.8 miles on Saturday and didn’t get as sore as I have in the past. I intend to try a full marathon length walk this week. With the extra exercise, I have been slacking about keeping within my calorie budget, so my weight has been flat. Hopefully, I’ll do better with that this week.


Mr. Sombrero
WTW?! I can’t believe it’s been 2 months. I’m nowhere near my goal of 10% which bums me out, but that only means that I have only few more weeks to get (half way) there. I am constantly working out and moving, so that’s a very positive thing. And if you’re wondering, this is actually a picture of me working out. Yeah, I’m that furry.


Tam
What am I feeling? Fat depressed frustrated pig. Sigh. I have been trying to be good, and nothing is happening. Arrgghh. I really need to get back in the measure and recording groove. This week. Cross my heart. It’s tempting to just say “screw it” and eat an entire cheesecake, but I haven’t gotten there yet, at least I’m not gaining. *eye roll* Ugh.


TwoPi
Classes ended last week, course grades are filed, and I’m essentially free for the next few months to recharge mentally and gear up for fall classes. And my weight is down a bit more, which is nice. So I ought to be able to say I’m feeling great, but instead… meh. Saw my physician yesterday, who looked at my weight (and other medical issues) over the long-term, and recommended I give up caffeine, and insisted I join weight-watchers. Sigh. So today I’m feeling more like disappointed-cat or discouraged-cat. However, I couldn’t find their pictures, so instead here is a photo of ennui-cat.


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 9

Our eighth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate eight weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

People say that you should never sweat the small stuff.  But sometimes it’s the little things that drive us crazy.  This week we asked each of our contestants what one (or more) ‘little things’ are that bother them.  Maybe it’s their blobby fat that hangs over their waist band, or the way that diet food always seems to taste awful.  Here’s what they said:


Tam
When you say little things, I’ll take it literally. Why are little things so fattening? It’s only a few peanuts. They’re miniature M&Ms. It’s just dried cranberries. All of them JAMMED with calories (in addition to good things). All small food should have small calories. If you eat a huge burger, big calories. Tiny cookies, tiny calories. Why are these things not logical?


Mr. Sombrero
There are few things that bother Mr Sombrero. Number one is the scale. It hasn’t moved in weeks. What the frak scale?! I thought we were in this together?! Did Adam put you up to this? [no response] Whatever. Another thing that bothers Mr Sombrero is his full length mirror. I don’t like what I’m seeing. Yes I’m talking to you mirror. Don’t give me that fat look. You know what else bothers Mr S? That kid that lost his cupcakes. Yeah that Ryan kid. Showoff. I think I’ve seen some of his cupcakes hanging around my scale. And another thing, what is up with veggie farts. I mean seriously, enough is enough. And do they have to smell like hipster’s wool hat on a hot and humid urban August afternoon? Yeah these are some of my (least) favorite things…


Ryan
I’m getting tired of tracking everything. It’s the key to my success so far, but it gets really frustrating whenever I eat something outside of my normal routine. The uncertainty of how much food something contains can make planning the rest of the day pointless. This leads me to rely mostly on whether I feel hungry, but this leads to the temptation to let myself have what I want to eat even if I shouldn’t.


Michelle M.
One of the little things I hate is being a girl and trying to lose weight. It’s hard to stay on track when you automatically put on up to 5 pounds of water weight each month. You think you’re being good and the WHAM the numbers on the scale jump up. It’s so discouraging. And craving sugar and salty snacks doesn’t help. Stupid hormones.


TwoPi
What irritates me the most is having to pay attention to the bathroom scale once a week. Bad enough having to stand on the darned thing, which naturally gives out a little creaking noise, as in “Oh my GOHD how many of you ARE there?” Then there’s a number, which is never the number I remember from when I was in high school (roughly the last time in my life I stood on a bathroom scale on a regular basis). And finally, there’s the blasted comparison of this week’s number with last week’s number. Ugh. I feel like a schoolboy who just got called in front of the class and didn’t do his homework. Bleh.


Mikey
The little things I hate are the way my shirts fit and the way that my pants fit. I feel like ALL of my shirts are too small and I float around like the pink iceberg named Fat Betty. My pants however are loose enough that I need a belt, but my belt doesn’t have a hole at the right spot….so they are constantly sagging and showing my ample rear.


Adam
A little thing that I hate?  Clothes that don’t fit.  I’ve gained some weight in the last year — and now the shirts I wore last year aren’t fitting.  Why can’t someone design clothing that grows with you?  Or maybe I should just buy every available size of shirts that I like.  That way one of ’em will always fit!  Think of all the plaid!!!


Polt
So this week we’re talking about the little things we hate. Writing these blurbs each week can be a pain, but I’ll not mention that. And I thought I’d actually have to force myself to be taking walks, but I find I enjoy them, and frankly, feel a bit guilty when I don’t take one at least every other day. No, I think what irritates me the most about this diet thing, is the lack of variety in the food I’m eating. I’m eating all the meat and veggies I want (not that I want, or even eat all that many), but after awhile, I’ve just gotten sick of steak. I’d really like to have a sub and some chips, or a big plate of steaming hot pasta and meatballs, or a huge greasy slice of pizza…but I cant. Steak and salad for me…thank you very much. Ah well, in the end it’ll be worth it, right?


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 8

Our seventh week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate seven weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

Temptation is something that plagues every dieter.  Whether it’s food, laziness, or something else — sometimes it’s all you’re thinking about when you should be eating healthy and exercising.  What tempts our contestants?  We’re about to find out!


Michelle M.
It doesn’t take much to tempt me away from exercising. But the couch/television and internet are the worst offenders. “All I wanna do is stay home and eat chips” – little Mackenzie (my favorite) from Dance Moms.


Polt
So this week’s theme is Temptation: what’s tempting me. Well, I’ve not had many chips in the last month, and I used to have them with nearly every meal, so they’re kinda tempting. And what do chips go best with but a delicious sub? Yeah, I’d like to have one of those, thick roll piled high with meat, mayo, lettuce, onions….yum. But what’s REALLY tempting me? PASTA! I’d give my left nut for a big bowl of fettuccine, covered in sauce and loaded with meatballs. YUM! For me now, pasta is the face of evil, tempting me so, yet SO wrong for me!


TwoPi
“I always avoid temptation, unless I can’t resist it.” Looking for images related to this quote, I stumbled on the cover of the sheet music for “Ev’rybody Shimmies Now”, which I can’t help but hear being sung by the Beach Boys. Apparently the Shimmy was a popular dance in the 1920s. Sorry, I got distracted. What is the theme again? Oh. I guess I’m tempted by the idea of the Beach Boys recording Mae West songs.


Tam
So, my biggest weakness is the damn computer. I’m either reading, writing something, or surfing the net. Sigh. I should be going for a walk, doing my laundry, something that actually requires burning more calories than typing. As for food weaknesses, lately it’s been ice-cream. (Not the Starbucks but the picture was close. I hate Starbuck.) It’s not a good thing when Ben & Jerry’s is on sale. I can resist when it’s $7/container, but $4 … not so much. Doesn’t help that this week is water retention week. Stupid girl problems.


Ryan
This past week they’ve been having food trucks come to our offices. This has disrupted my diet not only because I’m probably eating more than I normally would for lunch but also because the difficulty of figuring out how much I ate discourages me from making sure what I have for the rest of the day fits within my calorie ranges.


Mr. Sombrero
Dear PB, you suck! I love you. That about sums it up.


Mikey
My temptation of the moment is pizza. I have given in to it twice this past week, which explains why I am fatter today than I was last week. 😦 Anyway…I vow (again!) to resist temptation again. OH and to get off my fat butt and work out.


Adam
All I want is a cookie — ALL I WANT IS A COOKIE!! Why are vegan cookies still so bad for you? I haven’t had cookies in forevz (at least 2 days) and I still cannot seem to lose any weight. It’s pathetic! I’m just awful!!


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 5

Our fourth week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate four weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

Our dieters have accomplished nearly a month dieting. Have you wondered what they miss the most?  This week we asked each contestant what from their plumper days they miss the most? Is it food? Laziness? Or something else? Here’s what they said:


Michelle M.
Other than the metabolism of my youth, the thing I miss most is junk food (chocolate and chips, mostly). I can hardly wait until it’s time to donate blood so I can have a guilt free snack afterwards. I hope they have mini powdered donuts…


Polt
Okay, so this week it’s “What Do I Miss Most?” Well I didn’t really give up anything for the challange, but last week, my doctor put me on a low to no carb diet. So what do I miss? FREAKING CARBS!!! I miss pizza, bread, chips, pasta, donuts, potatoes, corn, peas, fries, buns, rolls, subs…oh God, I swear there was moment Monday when I would have given my left nut for a hot buttered roll! As Shakespeare said, “A cruller, a danish, my KINGDOM for an eclair!”


TwoPi
I miss not thinking about whether to buy something my mouth wants to eat. I miss not reading the nutrition labels on packaged foods. I miss giving in to my spur-of-the-moment cravings when I’m doing the grocery shopping. (I do, however, like that slightly smug feeling when I manage to walk down the junk food aisle and don’t give in, don’t put anything in the cart.) I miss not feeling like I’m at war with myself over food.


Ryan

I don’t miss beer (I still drink it) so much as I miss being able to drink without thinking about the calories. At this point, I’ve given up drinking outside of a social context. Enjoying a beer at home just isn’t worth making room for the calories. I also miss snacking. Chips or nut mixes tend to be too much of a bother when you have to measure out portions. It would also be nice to have supper be determined by what I feel like eating more than what will balance out what I ate during the rest of the day.


Tam
I miss desserts. I got in a really bad habit in early 2012 of eating dessert far too often. All kinds, cake, cookies, pie, ice-cream, it didn’t seem like a meal unless we had dessert. Since my trip I have only had the occasional Girl Guide cookie (which I faithfully recorded). I have passed on donuts, ice-cream and other baked treats. Now when I’m craving something I usually end up having a pudding cup or a jello/fruit cup. Both around 100 calories. I like both, but they’re no triple threat chocolate cake. I was super good this last week and got a crappy number. Oh well, means next week will be high right?


Mikey
I miss nothing other than ice cream at the moment. Sure it’s only early spring, but I can always eat ice cream. It’s my favorite dessert of all time. And I haven’t had any in months. Poor Mikey!


Mr. Sombrero
I try not to deprive myself of delicious foods. I keep it in moderation and decrease the intake.
I did replace unhealthy snacks with nuts and fruits. The trick is to completely banish unhealthy foods from your surroundings so one does not fall into temptation in the time of crisis. I do find myself dreaming of Twix PB bars.


Adam
Nearly a month ago, I gave up two foods that are awful for you. Those foods? Mustard and pickles. I miss them so much!  Mustard and pickles are commonly known as the most fattening foods on the planet. By avoiding only these foods, I will slim down to the size of an Olsen twin.  I miss them greatly, but it’s worth it!


And now the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!

Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 3

Our second week is complete! Today our contestants celebrate two weeks into the cockiest and rudest weight loss competition evahhhh! It’s Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3!

Diet is an important part of every weight-loss regimen. This week, the contestants were invited to tell us how they’ve changed their diet to help attain their weight-loss goals. Here’s what they said:


Michelle M.
My diet this past week has pretty much consisted of cough drops, orange juice and ginger ale. If I could keep this up, I would reach my goal weight in no time at all. When I’m feeling better, though, I’ll be cutting out the junk food and trying not to eat after 8pm.


Ryan
My diet hasn’t changed much because I never went back to my old diet after last year. My current calorie budget is around 1800 calories from a balanced mix of carbs, protein, and fat. Like last year, oatmeal with raisins is my breakfast. Lately, I have been experimenting with dishes that combine beans and pineapple.


Tam
Yes, this picture represents my “diet” for the past week. Gotta love being on a work trip. Ugh. So I’ve only been back 3 days really, back on the “wagon”, the starvation wagon. Next week be better. Swear. I bought all the stuff to make salad for my work lunch. I like salad, I’m just to lazy to prepare it. I also have banned any ice-cream in my house that I would like to eat. No temptation. Lately I’ve been craving sweet things, so I stocked up on my fave black seedless grapes and pineapple so hopefully when I get the craving for cake, those will suffice. Now that I’m home and can determine how things are cooked I think it will be easy to be careful. I think according to Spark people I eat about 1300 – 1500 calories a day. I’m usually at the low end if I pay attention and am not at the muffin/beer buffet. Hey, but at least I’m not up. Go me.


TwoPi
I love to cook. It is a central piece of who I am, one of my favorite recreational activities. Whatever dietary changes I put in place now need to be ones I can sustain for the long haul. So for the most part, I’m unwilling to change my diet, my cooking habits, although I am working toward incorporating more green vegetables and less protein, less fat, into the choices I make. The primary change in my diet isn’t what I’m eating, but how much I’m eating. I’m trying to be conscious of portion sizes, of not taking seconds, of not snacking out of boredom. (I love numbers, but I’m not counting calories.) No doubt the scale shows that I’m making modest progress at best, but in all honesty I’m not worried about losing the most weight in BC&RL3, I more concerned with being able to keep the weight off while still feeling satisfied in the kitchen and dining room.


Polt
So this week, we’re supposed to talk about how our diet’s changed. Mine…hasn’t. Although, come to think of it, I have been eating a lot of Cheetos lately. That shouldn’t be a problem, I mean they’re just cheesey-powder covered air anyway, right? And air has no calories, right? So, yeah, this is a good thing in my opinion.


Mikey
My diet has changed moderately so far. I’m working to cut back on fried foods and unnecessary sugars (like tonic….sure club soda is really boring, but so many fewer calories!). I never count calories, only cocktails, of which there have been few since I am sick with bronchitis and I shouldn’t even be writing this thing. The upside to being sick is that I’m losing weight by not doing much. That’s awesome.


Adam
This week, like many of the other BC&RL3-ers, I was plagued by illness. A splitting migraine and a 4-5 days of nausea left me without much in my belly. My diet (now that I have recovered) will consist of healthy meals and no snacking. I usually eat very healthy meals, but I’m awful at maintaining my diet once the sun goes down. Cookies, chips, pretzels and candy are the salty and sweet nightly demons that make me fat. But no more!


Mr. Sombrero
I have to admit that I haven’t given much thought to the diet factor of this challenge. Nutritionally my diet is pretty good but my biggest enemies are peanut butter and quesadillas. That will be the toughest part, scaling down on those yummy monsters. And the fact that Adam just gave me his quesadilla maker is not making it any easier to get on track… Now that I think about it, he might be trying to sabotage me… [insert gasp and dramatic telenovela music here]


And now, the week’s results:

Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our eight contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season!