Now that 2011 is drawing to a close, it’s time to make resolutions for 2012! Now, I could make my usual resolutions – lose weight, exercise, finish that novel, go back to school… but why bother. Word is it’s the end of days! So I’m going to live large and make this year count. Here are my 2012 resolutions:
January – I’m going to Disney World!
February – I’m going to eat VATS of mashed potatoes and gravy.
March – I resolve to stay in bed, read books, watch DVDs and eat tons of junk food.
April – I’ve always wanted to drive across country, and this is the year I’m going to do it.
I’ll make sure to see all my bloggy friends in between trips to see the largest ball of twine,
carhenge and big holes in the ground.
May – I’m going to hang out in the sewers with Britney and keep on dancing til the world ends.
June – On second thought, who wants to hang out in a stinky sewer? Ever since watching
The Love Boat, I’ve always wanted to go on a cruise. I plan to eat, drink, read,
lay out at the pool, and eat and drink some more.
July – I resolve to island hop, enjoy tropical drinks and work on my skin cancer.
August – La Tomatina! Buñol, Spain has a huge tomato fight every year. I am totally there.
September – I’m going to hang out in Santorini, Greece. Soaking up the sun and eating.
But now that I think about it, I have no idea how the world is going to end. Maybe it won’t
be complete devastation from a pandemic, solar flares, a black hole or asteroid collision.
Maybe it will be a robot uprising, the rapture, or even worse – Zombies!
Maybe I better rethink my resolutions in case I’m stuck on this miserable,
god forsaken, zombie-ridden planet.
October – I better get in fighting shape, so I resolve to lose weight and exercise. sigh.
November – Since I’ll be stockpiling weapons, I better learn how to use them.
December – Several trips to Costco will be in order so I can fill up my hidden
bunker by the lake in the mountains. Bring it on zombies.
So there you have it. My 2012 resolutions. What are your resolutions?
Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse? Let me know in the comments!