Gambling is the wagering of money or something of material value (referred to as “the stakes”) on an event with an uncertain outcome with the primary intent of winning additional money and/or material goods. Are you a ramblin’ gamblin’ man (or woman)? Let’s find out!
You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever…
1. Have you ever legally gambled?
2. Have you ever illegally gambled?
3. Have you ever purchased a lottery ticket?
4. Have you ever played bingo?
5. Have you ever participated in an office gambling pool? (lottery tickets, sports betting, etc.)
6. Have you ever bet on sports?
7. Have you ever bet on horse races?
8. Have you ever bet on dog races?
9. Have you ever bet on non-sports entertainment? (Oscars, American Idol, etc.)
10. Have you ever gambled on a tile game? (Mahjong, dominos, etc.)
11. Have you ever gambled at a casino?
12. Have you ever gambled at an Indian casino?
13. Have you ever gambled on a cruise ship or party boat?
14. Have you ever gambled online?
15. Have you ever played a table game at a casino?
16. Have you ever played an electronic gaming machine at a casino? (slot machine, video poker, etc.)
17. Have you ever played a random number ticket game a casino? (Keno, simulated racing, etc.)
18. Have you ever counted cards?
19. Have you ever used a bookie?
20. Have you ever lost more than $1000 while gambling?
21. Have you ever won more than $1000 while gambling?
22. Have you ever won more than $10,000 while gambling?
23. Have you ever gotten in trouble for gambling? (police, Mafia, etc.)
24. Have you ever had or been suspected of having a gambling addiction?
25. Have you ever stolen money to fuel your gambling habit or gambling debt?
Ante up and tell us your total in the comments!
Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER
Jumping the shark is an idiom, first employed to describe a moment in the evolution of a television show when it begins a decline in quality that is beyond recovery. In its initial usage, it referred to the point where viewers feel “the writers have run out of ideas” and that “the series has [lost] what made it attractive.” The usage of “jump the shark” has subsequently broadened beyond television, indicating the moment in its evolution when a brand, design, or creative effort moves beyond the essential qualities that initially defined its success, beyond relevance or recovery. Wikipedia
He’s not the next Jennifer Hudson… but he’s still pretty damn cute. American Idol season 8 winner, Kris Allen made his acting debut recently on Teen Nick’s Gigantic. Sure he won’t be winning any Academy Awards, but if you turn down the sound and just gaze lustfully into his eyes…
The boys of Cocky & Rude love the lead up to Zombie Jesus Day a lot. Adam gets to eat all the vegan candy he can find and Mikey gets to make fun of Adam for eating vegan candy, which sounds just plain gross. We also get to talk about all the stuff that we are going to give up for Lent. We have no idea why we or anyone are supposed to give stuff up for the period between Mardi Gras and ZJD, but they do. Here is what we are giving up this year.
Adam: I’m not going to Be (Fake) Nice To My Coworkers anymore. No more polite smiles. And I will no longer bite my tongue and listen to you babble about the weather.
Mikey: I’m not going to Tell People I’m Giving Up Catholicism for Lent. I never really had it and frankly the joke has gotten tired.
Adam: I’m going to give up Weight Loss. It’s overrated, I’m happier when I’m fat, and you people already kicked me out of Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 2.
Mikey: I’m not going to Say that I’m Fat. It might be horribly true, but I’m not going to tell anyone how super sized I have become or how few of my clothes fit me.
Adam: I’m also giving up Being Nice To People. It takes too much effort and it’s easier to be rude. Plus when I’m rude to people, it’s free advertising for Cocky & Rude.
Mikey: I’m not going to Apologize to People I Bump Into on the Subway. When I do, they look at me like my apology is the offensive part.
Adam: No more Being A Courteous Driver for me! If you’re driving too slow and I’m stuck behind you, please prepare for me to honk at you. If you’re driving stupid, I will give you the finger.
Mikey: No more Whining About How Few Comments I get. It is your own damn fault that you are missing an opportunity to interact with the greatest mind of my generation. Suit yourself.
Adam: I will no longer Help Little Old Ladies Cross The Street. Not that I’ve ever helped a little old lady before, but if I see one, I will most definitely push them to the ground and step on them.
Mikey: I am finished Helping Tourists Get Around the City. They just need to shut up, buy a map and get the hell out of my way. I’m serious. German? Get Away! Italian? Mop off the grease and get off the street.
Adam: Forget Waiting My Turn At The Supermarket! I’m now just going to mow everyone down with my shopping cart. If you’re between me and my produce, I’m going to hurt you.
Mikey: I’m not going to Stop Quoting 30 Rock all the time. The show is incredibly brilliant and the humor can not be contained. I will continue to work on my night cheese.
Adam: Street runners beware! I will no longer refrain from Rolling My Window Down And Screaming At You Like A Lady. Oh wait, I’ve never refrained from doing this. Is that weird? I scream a high pitched wail at the same large-chested man in a tight t-shirt at least once a week.
Mikey: I’m not going to Stop talking about How Amazing Cheese is. It is the best substance ever. I love chocolate lots, but cheese is the best thing that ever happened to anyone including you.
Adam: That’s it for Covering My Mouth And Nose When I Cough And Sneeze! My germs are awesome, and from now on, I’m going to share them with all of you!
Mikey: I’m not going to Wash My Clothes. I hate doing laundry and I think that the fake god wants me to not do it, so I won’t. I might smell by the end of Lent, but I’ll be happy.
Adam: I’m also giving up Watching My Language Around Children. They’re going to hear some fucking curse words somewhere, so they might as well fucking hear them from me.
Mikey: I’m not going to Stop Making Goo Goo Sounds at Dogs on the Street. I don’t care if your think it makes me sound like a crazy person or immature. Dogs are cute and deserve to know it.
Adam: No more Making Fun Of You Behind Your Back for me! Now I’m just going to make fun of you to your face. And it’s gunna be brutal.
Mikey: I’m not going to Complain to Adam about his continuing to Watch American Idol. He watches a lot more shows that I will tease him about. I bet he still watches that one about those doctors who don’t really know anything about medicine other than how to sexually harass each other in the on call room.
Now that you know what good boys we plan to be, let us know what you are going to give up this Lent. We will accept all answers as a contract between you and the Lord. (For the purposes of this blog, Cocky & Rude is the Lord).
Do you know what we have not done in a really long time? Not once this year? A Friday Five. There hasn’t been a single noteworthy damn thing that has happened all year. Ok. So maybe some interesting things have happened, but we haven’t found five of them in one week in forever. This week we have a few whoppers for you. Just what has been so great lately? check it out.
Charlie Sheen enters the battle of the insane ranters (by Mikey)
Unless you live under a rock, you probably heard about Charlie Sheen’s latest trip down the road to River Phoenix’s place. This week has been a whirlwind of outbursts about tiger blood and “winning” from the serial womanizer and woman abuser, yet Oliver Noble at FilmDrunk.com took it to the super awesome hilarious level. His mash up of the rants of fellow women abusers Gibson, Sheen and Baldwin with an assist from Christian Bale is classic. Check it out.
The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger (by Mikey)
Our friend Mel posted this hilarious inventive nature video with additional narration by Randall. Apparently the Honey Badger is either the most fearless animal in the world or the stupidest thing alive. When you combine that with Randall’s lispy, effete commentary you get magic. Sit back, relax and ride the Honey Badger.
Paula Deen Rides Things (by Mikey)
I love watching Paula Deen put butter on lard to make a cheese soup. If I ate the way she cooks, I would have arteries the same hardness as granite. Her enthusiasm for food is infectious. And this website, which Tam posted on facebook, captures that pandemic and puts it right out there on top of whatever she can sit her lard replete ass on. Favorites include: Paula on Falcor from The Neverending Story, Paula on a grey cat, and Paula on Pee Wee Herman. I hope you are able to catch your breath after that.
Cats that Look like Ron Swanson (by Mikey)
If you don’t watch Parks and Recreation, this tumblr blog will make you a fan. Nick Offerman’s portrayal of Ron Swanson on that show is quite possibly my favorite thing about it and his signature scowly stare is the stuff of legend. Check out these adorable fuzzy friends who will make you tune into NBC each week to see who Ron stares down next.
AMERICAN IDOL (by Adam)
I admit it. I’m watching Idol and I can’t stop. Does it belong on the Friday Five?! Probably not! And quite frankly, I hate almost everyone on the show. The judges? They’re awful. Most of the contestants? Awful too! But for some reason I’m addicted to American Idol like it’s meth. I even missed an episode last week and feverishly seeked it out online so I could watch it. And I can gaurantee that I’ll watch it all the way until the end! I can’t stop! In the word of Charlie Sheen: “I’m on a drug. It’s called…” American Idol!!!
So there you have ’em, folks: Charlie Sheen vs Other Ranters, the infamous Honey Badger, Paula Deen on just about anything, Cats that look like Ron Swanson, and American Idol for some reason. What is on your list of amazing awesome things? Tell us in the comments so we can sleep peacefully this weekend.
Welcome back, everyone! Just like every Thursday since
what feels like the beginning of time January, it’s time for everyone’s favorite blog contest: Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 2. But before we get started this week, I need to share something with you: Craig is still relentlessly terrorizing me! Sometimes his doodles are movie-themed:
And sometimes they’re a little mean:
So after I asked each of the remaining Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 2 contestants how their diet, exercise and life has changed since the beginning of the contest, I decided to divert a bit of Craig’s violent rage towards the rest of you. I asked Craig to draw a friendly doodle for each of the remaining players. Here’s what happened:
Adam: Lately I’m finding that my diet and exercise habits have not changed enough. For some reason, I’m having trouble motivating myself! Does anyone wanna follow me around and slap my hand every time I eat something that I shouldn’t eat? Please?! Otherwise, I’m going to lose! 😦
FDot: I follow a very simple 4-step dieting method. 1. Check. I look at the labels on everything I buy to see what the calorie and saturated fat levels are. 2. Read. Next I look over the ingredient list to make sure there isn’t anything that sounds like a science-fiction poison. 3. Ambulation. I walk as much as possible and use my stationary bike at home when I don’t have episodes of Judge Judy to watch. 4. Portions. I try to eat smaller portions of everything. I don’t need my picture on a restaurant wall for finishing off their 48oz steak by myself. This method is what I’m hoping will keep me lithe. It’s modeled after what I usually say when I realize I can’t eat that Caramello Bar for dessert: “CRAP”.
Jere: Didn’t we already answer this question of some version of it like 4 times? Um… I can wear my button-fly jeans again. Hopefully that may lead to some sexing again someday soon. Also, eating less and drinking less often means Jere has become a cheap date. Hopefully, this will also lead to some sexing again someday soon.
Mush: 1. Dieting sucks. 2. ALL commercially-prepared (restaurant) food is evil, and designed to make you FAT. 3. I hate exercise. 4. I am only six pounds away from my goal for this contest. Trying to lose these final six pounds will KILL ME. All I want to do is eat. The first five weeks were a breeze; now it’s all about self-discipline… I have none. 5. I wish I knew where to find cocaine in this town. 6. This contest is less fun without a partner. I miss Ryan.
Paul: I am HUNGRY and PISSED OFF! That is how this competition has changed my life.
Ryan: I conquered the conference. I think that my stomach has gotten smaller because I now get full before finishing a restaurant plate. This made controlling how much I ate a lot easier. My diet has changed in one strange way: I think I eat more ice cream now. I get the 3.6 oz. servings and have them whenever I have a 200 calorie gap in my meal plan that could be filled with fat, sugar, and a little protein.
And now, this week’s results:
And now, like every week it’s time to eliminate a player. Here’s how it works: just like American Idol, you vote for the team that you want to save. The team with the least votes will be eliminated. Polls close around Noon (EST) on Saturday.
Don’t forget to vote, and feel free to discuss this week’s results in the comments!
Oh, and what did you think of Craig’s doodles?