Last week I listed 20 television characters I love. That means this week it’s time to list 20 characters I hate. And not “love to hate” like Pete Campbell from Mad Men or Ben from Lost. These are characters that I find annoying, lame, whiny, stupid or all of the above. It may be the way the actors are portraying them, or just the way the characters are written. Or maybe it’s the actor himself/herself. Whatever it is, they’re obnoxious and unwatchable.
Annie Romano from One Day At A Time. Overact much? YES!
Phil from Modern Family. He’s way too clownish and dopey.
Debra Messing as Grace and Molly and Julia and any other character she’s played. She is truly awful. She just seems so self aware. Another overactor.
Ivy from 90210. She’s so flat, mopey and morose. ALL the time.
Ross from Friends. What a drip.
Elmo. It’s the voice. It’s like nails on a chalkboard.
Angela Chase from My So Called Life. The angst, the awkwardness, the hair tucking behind the ear, the flannel shirts, the always hugging herself and saying “like” every other word. And how many Jordans are in your school anyway? Can’t you refer to Jordan by his first name only?
Clare Edwards from Degrassi. I’m not sure why I can’t stand Clare. Maybe it’s because she’s a drama queen. Or that she looks like a middle-aged woman in those awful school uniforms. I just know she bugs me.
Kramer from Seinfeld (sorry, Tam). Too weird, too slapsticky. Not my cup of tea.
Jennifer Love Hewitt as anyone in anything. It all started with her character on Party of Five. All that “cutesy” acting and the going around with her sleeves pulled over her hands drove me nuts. Cleavage + acting cutesy = bad actress!
Will Schuester on Glee. He’s so smarmy. And waaaay too into the Glee kids. I might hate him more than Sue Sylvester does.
Hope on Thirtysomething. Never happy. What a wet blanket.
Annie Camden from 7th Heaven. She always seemed so annoyed and kind of bitchy- with a little bit of Church lady thrown in for good measure.
Ally McBeal. Ugh. I couldn’t even make it through one episode.
Susan from Desperate Housewives. I detest her “adorable klutzy” schtick.
Dawn Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Whiny, petulant and useless.
Smurfette. That voice. I can’t smurfing stand it.
Ellis from Smash. He’s such a sneaky little weasel. And not in a fun way.
Declan Porter from Reven8e. His hair is way too big for his body. I call him the human Q-tip. He’s useless as far as I’m concerned. Every time he appears I want to shake my fist at the television (you called it, Craig).
Lori from The Walking Dead. She thinks all the women should be cookin’ and doing laundry – not kicking zombie butt. And she can’t even keep track of her own kid. Or drive!
So which characters make you want to throw something at the screen? Let me know in comments!
Just like Ross on Friends, I have a free pass list* (a celebrity free pass is an agreement between you and your significant other** that should you meet one of the five people on your list, you have free reign to get it on). Here are the lucky celebrities who may or may not have their world rocked should they happen to cross my path (or someone invents a time machine):
1. Barry Gibb (in his glory days). Who can resist gold medallions, a hairy chest and a falsetto?
2. Joe Manganiello. Joe is a classically trained American film and theatre actor. He is most known for his role as a werewolf on the series True Blood. He is active with several charities and looks good with his shirt off.
3. Cary Grant (in his heyday). So dashing and debonair. And that transatlantic accent – swoon!
4. Boris Frederic Cecil Tay-Natey Ofuatey-Kodjoe. Boris is an actor and former model. He was named one of People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People in the World and that’s good enough for me.
5. Christopher Reeve (in his alive, walking around days). When I was 10 I joined the Christoper Reeve fan club. Who wouldn’t want to fly with Superman? And Somewhere in Time is one of the most romantic movies ever.
*Unlike Ross, my list is not laminated and is subject to change without notice.
*Harry is allowed to have a free pass list, too. I better not find it, though, or there will be 5 fewer celebrities in the world.
So who is on your 5 list? Let me know in comments!
So when Adam and Michelle put out their whiny request saying they were “tired” and “too exhausted” to post this week (wah wah wah) and DESPERATELY wanted guest posts, I thought … what could I, the classy sophisticated woman that I am, write about for a guest post? Of course, the obvious answer was Mikey’s favorite: hardcore gay porn.
Now everyone knows that straight girls only like porn with romantic music and floaty curtains, and soft gentle non-threatening male actors, right? Heh. Yeah. Well, I can’t speak on behalf of all straight girls, only the ones in my little pervy corner of the universe, and that description? Not so much. I decided I would do a survey of a few of my friends who I know enjoy a little man-on-man action, or at least a picture of a nekkid bottom now and then. Well, they told two friends, and they told two friends and so on, and so on. You know the drill. I ended up with 110 responses. Ack! I needed to buy a Survey Monkey pay subscription to access them all.
So what is the story with these women? They’re just looking at artsy pictures right? Well, we’re looking at pictures, I’m not sure how many are “artsy”. Have you been to Tumblr lately? Ahem. 97.3% have a gander at the boys, many on a daily basis, or several times daily, or hourly. Do you know how fast a dashboard moves on that site? Ya gotta keep up or you’ll miss a good one.
Now surely they’re not WATCHING videos. I must be alone in that jungle of testosterone, right? Oh no, I’m not alone. Basically 83% of us girls surveyed like to watch some hot video action, although we are basically cheap and don’t want to pay for it.
Okay, but they’re all single and sad and desperate like me I’m sure. Hmmm. Maybe? 37.6% of us are footloose and fancy free and can watch whatever the hell we want on the internet. But 35.6% have husbands who don’t really care.
I got some interesting comments:
So there you have it. But you’re asking “why?” right? Most people do, even other straight girls. And no, none of us imagine one of the ‘stars’ coming to their senses and sweeping us off our feet. Some of us like to watch straight porn or girl-on-girl as well, but there are a lot of common reasons women don’t like watching porn with other women in it. We are not the target audience. It’s aimed at men and as a rule shows women that men (supposedly) find attractive. The men involved don’t really matter, because straight guys are staring at the women. Straight girls? We’re looking at Ron Jeremy. Ack. If that’s not a freaking turn-off what is? I like to look at attractive men and seriously, you aren’t going to find many in straight porn. So I’ll go where my eye can enjoy the view, doubly, or more.
Here are some of the comments from my survey respondents:
So there you have it folks. In general the reasons why some of us girls like gay porn are: we like men and the way men look; straight porn makes us feel icky or self-conscious; and … it’s just hot. *shrug*
I received so many interesting answers to my questions about porn stars on twitter, live sex shows, strippers and how “out” you are with your habit, that I will definitely be using much of this info for some posts on my own site. Too much great data not to mine for other posts. I admit my survey sample was skewed to those who already have an interest in the subject matter, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as fun otherwise.
I know porn is not for everyone, but if it’s your thing, happy watching.
Did you watch the Oscar awards on Sunday? The whole show? And you managed to stay awake?! AMAZING!! You deserve an award. But too bad! There’s only one award that we’re handing out today… the award for the 2nd Annual Cocky & Rude Oscar Contest! This year’s winner correctly predicted 20 of the 24 Academy Award categories. AND NOW … without further ado … (after all, why wait until the end of the post when the winner is someone who has never commented on C&R before?), the winner is: Bart Randall from Los Angeles, California! Yippee! Hurray! Woohoo!!! Congratulations!
Already in the mail and jetting its way to California is an assortment of seven movie theater-style candies, two packs of microwave popcorn and a brand new DVD of Lindsay Lohan in Walt Disney’s Herbie Fully Loaded! Wow, what a great prize!
So how did I tabulate the results? In a giant messy spreadsheet! Check it out!
Here’s the full roundup of the results:
My favorite two category results were Best Cinematography and Best Actor in a Supporting Role. Why, you ask?
It’s because 100% of the people that entered the 2nd Annual Cocky & Rude Oscar Contest chose the Best Cinematography winner incorrectly. You’re all dummies! (And so am I!) In the Best Supporting Actor category, nearly everyone picked the correct winner (which was Christopher Plummer for Beginners) — EXCEPT Tam and Polt. Ha! They stink! Lolz!
Each year we invite contest participants to predict the Best and Worst Dressed Academy Award celebrity attendee. Since these categories are subjective, they do not count towards final scores.
This Year’s Best Dressed Predictions:
This Year’s Worst Dressed Predictions:
Meryl Streep won Worst Dressed with three votes. Glenn Close, Michelle Williams, Rooney Mara and Sacha Baron Cohen tied for second place with two votes each. Everyone else tied with one vote each.
Congratulations to Meryl Streep and Michelle Williams for being our (predicted) Best AND Worst Dressed celebrities! And Congratulations to Bart Randall for winning the 2nd Annual Cocky & Rude Oscar Contest! So what did you think of this year’s Oscar Awards? Any surprises? Who was the best & worst dressed of the night? What did you think of Jennifer Lopez’s nip, Angelina Jolie’s emaciated leg, Billy Crystal’s break out from the old folks home, and the rest of Sunday night’s silliness? Any thoughts for next year? Who should host? Do you even care about the Oscars? Let’s discuss in the comments!!
The Oscar Awards are right around the corner … and we’re excited! That’s why C&R is bringing you the 2nd Annual Cocky & Rude Oscar Contest. Simply cast your ballot and you’ll be entered to win this year’s prize: A Movie Watcher’s Prize Pack (valued at approx. $15!). The prize includes an assortment of seven movie theater-style candies, two packs of microwave popcorn and a brand new DVD of Lindsay Lohan in Walt Disney’s Herbie Fully Loaded! Tune in to watch the 84th Annual Academy Awards on February 26th, 2012.
THIS CONTEST CLOSED Thursday, February 23rd, 2012 at 11:59:59PM EST, LATE ENTRIES WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED.
COCKY & RUDE OSCAR CONTEST BALLOT
Limit one entry per person and per IP address. If multiple entries are submitted, only your first will be counted. Contest entries must be submitted on or before Thursday, February 23rd, 2012 at 11:59:59PM EST. No late entries will be accepted. In the case of a tie, a single winner will be randomly selected by Adam. “Best Dressed” and “Worst Dressed” categories do not count towards or against your final score. Contest winners and all rankings will be announced at 12:01AM EST on Tuesday, February 28th, 2012. If there are any conflicts, Adam has the final determining say. Prize will be mailed to the winner within one week of announcement.
In the comments, tell us your favorite movie, actor, actress or director of the year, whether or not they were nominated. Good luck & thanks for playing!
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Or in my case, laziness. So here are some ideas that were
stolen inspired by some of my favorite bloggers.
- set an equine high jump record that stood for more than 25 years
- originally wanted to be a math (yuck) professor.
- had an aversion to any kind of profanity, noting that it was a waste of time. No off color stories were allowed to be told in his presence.
- suffered intense migraine headaches which were sometimes reported as bouts of drunkenness.
- was tone deaf and could not recognize any of the light airs of the time; military music was especially annoying to him.
- abhorred red meat of any kind, and the sight of blood made him ill. Consequently, he insisted on his meat being cooked on the verge of being charred. He would not eat any kind of fowl, but was fond of pork and beans, fruit, and buckwheat cakes.
Tam’s Reads has book reviews galore (interspersed with photos of hot guys!). Here is my book report of Tina Fey’s Bossypants:
This book is filled with sarcastic, self-deprecating humor – from the picture on the front to the blurbs on the back. It’s a fast read that touches on Tina Fey’s work and personal life. I wish she had gone into a little more depth regarding Mean Girls (and her other movies), her years at SNL, and her experiences at 30 Rock. And there was no dish about the celebrities she has worked with. I demand gossip! But bonus points for including unflattering photos of herself. I would recommend this book – but not enough to buy it. Borrow it from a friend or from the library.
Enrico at Hotel Tuesday posts the most adorable journal entries from his childhood. I don’t have any schoolwork saved from my childhood, but I did find this “ghost in the attic” tucked in a book. I think I was in 2nd or 3rd grade at the time:
Social butterfly VUBOQ blogs about his wonderful pottery, yummy cocktails, ironing, blobbing and hanging out with letters of the alphabet. I can’t stand clay under my nails, so here I am ironing and enjoying a martini. Later I blobbed on the couch with H.
Xi_Heather and TwoPi have a math blog, 360. Like Barbie, I am allergic to math. I do have a nifty calculator with sparkly buttons, though.
Marry, F*ck or Kill on Jere’s blog, Blind Prophecy is a fun and thought provoking game. You must pick one person you would marry, one you would make sweet love to and one you would meet in the conservatory with a lead pipe. Here is the “all grown up” edition.
Choice One: Brian Austin Green (Beverly Hills 90210, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles)
Choice Two: Jason Bateman (Silver Spoons, Arrested Development)
Choice Three: Mark Paul Gosselaar (Saved By the Bell, Bangers and Mash)
Perspectologist often contains thoughtful explorations of Chris D.’s life/feelings (with bonus nudie pics). But I don’t have feelings. And you do not want to see me without clothes. TRUST. So we’ll just move along.
Cocky & Rude‘s Mikey and YouTube videos go hand in hand. Here is a video that made me cry kawaii tears. Forget puppies, I want Asian twins for Christmas!
Craig’s debates at Puntabulous are both controversial and hysterical. Here, Harry and I debate dark chocolate (yuck!) vs. milk chocolate (delicious!). Who do you think makes the most convincing argument? (Don’t forget who can paste your head on something unfortunate).
David P. at Someone in a Tree has a weekly tent pitch. So I found a tent pitch of my own to share.
And here are David’s answers to the C&R Studio (better late than never).
Fave word: vacation
Least fave word: sorry
Turn on: muscles
Turn off: slovenliness
Sound likes: harmony
Sound dislikes: car alarms
Vocation like to try: actor
Vocation least like to try: sanitation worker
If heaven exists, what would he like God to say: “Thank you for all your hard work.”
Paul at Where The Parkway Ends (is he ever going to start blogging again?) posts catchy little tunes for your drive to and from work. Here is my boppy little “Friday Morning Commute Sing-a-long Song.” What Do All the People Know is a one-hit wonder from the San Diego band, The Monroes:
John doesn’t have a blog, but he does have a Question of the Day he poses on Facebook. The trend these days seems to be for marines to ask celebrities to the Marine Corp Ball. Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake have already accepted. Betty “Heartbreaker” White declined (luckily, Linda Hamilton came to the rescue). Anywayzle, here is my QOTD: If you were a marine, which celebrity would you invite to the ball?
Mush at Goblinbox is a bento magician. She really makes the most mouthwatering bento boxes. This is my first foray into bento-ing. Those little tortilla people are Mikey and Adam.
Adam likes to live on the edge. Here is a gross/dangerous game he likes to play on Cocky & Rude. But why should he have all the fun? How many goldfish crackers (Xplosive Pizza!)* do you think Harry can cram into his mouth?
*I will never eat goldfish crackers again.
I’ll give the grave and mouth cram answers in the comment section at the end of the day. Thanks for all the entertainment/humor you have provided through your blogs – you guys are the best!