Who Cares If They Can Sing?!

I’ve always been told that you shouldn’t judge people on their looks.  But before these Idol moppets take the stage in actual competition … what else can we do?  Ignoring all their talents (or lack there of), Mike and I decided to judge American Idol‘s Top 24 on just their looks.  First up are the male contestants…

Topping our list at #1 is Tim Urban.  He’s a 20-year-old from Duncanville, TX.  But who cares about that?  Check out that smile and that cute haircut!  This late entry into the top 24 (he replaced Chris Golightly, who would not have been at #1) has a little bit of that Zac Efron thing going on that makes our hearts go pitter patter.

Next on our list at #2 is Casey James. His southern boy looks, long hair and peeking chest hair have gotten him high on our list, but the ultimate ingredients for landing #2?  Taking your shirt off during your audition.

At #3 is John Park.  He has a nice slim look, perfect hair, a winning smile and a cute outfit.  Plus there’s a sort of sexiness to him that we just can’t explain.

Landing his way at #4 is Todrick Hall.  He’s a good looking guy that exudes an alluring power and confidence.

At #5 and #6 are Joe Munoz and Michael “Big Mike” Lynche.  Joe is cute, but he just seems forgettable.  Big Mike (if he doesn’t get bounced from the competition) has that cute teddy bear thing going on … you just want him to give u a big hug.

At #7 and #8 are Lee Dwyze and Alex Lambert.  These two guys could be so much higher on the list, but they really need to work on their style.  New clothing for both … and Alex desperately needs to Cut The Mullet!

At #9 is Jermaine Sellers.  This may sound hypocritical, but we just can’t stand his cockiness.  I really just wanna smack that look off his face.

#10 is Andrew Garcia.  From his performances, he seems like he has a lot of talent … oops, almost forgot that this is a contest of looks.  Sorry Andrew.

At #11 is Tyler Grady.  He’s tall, lanky and kinda weird looking.  Plus he looks like a deer in the headlights in most of his photos.  At least he could straighten his necklace…

Finally at #12 is little Aaron Kelley.  I’m sure he’ll grow up to be a good looking guy in about 15 years … but right now he looks 10.  It’d be creepy of us to put him anywhere but in last place.

Stay tuned for our lineup of the hottest Idol chicks on Monday … after … the … break.

So what do you think?  Got the hots for Tim Urban?  Did we get it completely wrong?  Sound off in the comments!

[Image credits: Michael Becker/Fox by way of EW.com]

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LGBTUVWXYZ History: 101 (Part One)

As I prepared to settle into the Men’s Figure skating competition on NBC’s mediocre broadcast of the Winter Olympics, I started to think about all the young gay men prancing freely about in the open these days that know very little about their brave and truly outrageous predecessors.

Take Adam for example…

The other night we were chatting about what we should put in our blog and he told me that I should write about what happened at Stockwood as part of our LGBTUVWXYZ History Lessons.  And Nooooo Adam…the gay rights movement didn’t begin and end with Harvey Milk.  Not only had Queer people been fighting for equality against amazing nitwits since 1969 when, at the Stonewall Inn, Sylvia Rivera and other femme fatales kicked some NYPD ass by not backing down, but they had been organizing and advocating for years before that.  The Daughters of Billitus and the Mattachine Society had been pushing back in their own way a generation or so before that.

Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon were the very definition of ovaries of steel when they started reaching out to other lesbians in the 1950’s when Joe McCarthy was destroying the lives of anyone who didn’t think being Donna Reed was all that (and little boys who did.) Del Martin lived to marry Phyllis Lyon when the California Supreme Court legalized marriage for same-sex couples and only 55 years after they met.

So when you tune in to watch men in body stockings using grace, power, strength, and a lot of glitter become national heroes, I want you (and I mean you Adam) to spend a little time thinking about the women, men, and gender defiant individuals who made it possible.

Well…that’s only LGBTUVWXYZ History: 101 (Part One) Lesson 1.  Adam hopefully has learned that Stockwood is actually Stonewall and that neither is just  “whatever that gay bar is in NYC.”

In Lesson 2, I will teach Adam about what the Lavender Menace is.  No Adam…it is not that woman at the office who called you cocky and rude.

Cuz nobody cares about my opinion…

Movie reviews are boring,
so I review all the movies I’ve seen lately in 20 words.

500 Days of Summer – Joseph Gordon-Levitt is hot.  Zooey Deschanel is adorable.  Expected so much better!  Waaaa get over it. This movie sucks.

Hairspray – The original is Divine!  It’s so much fun!  Ricki Lake should stay fat forever!  Loved It!  All hail John Waters!

Fried Green TomatoesBates, Tandy, Masterson and Parker deserve millions of awards.  Love them all!  Eat candy bars and barbecue the bad guy!

Edge of SeventeenGreat coming-of-age film about gay kids in the 80’s!  Crazy 80’s hair! Tina Holmes pre-Six Feet Under!

The Answer Man – This film pleasantly surprised me!  Lauren Graham is my BFF … if only she knew.  Lou Taylor Pucci is so cute!

Hello World!

After blogging fairly regularly on another site for nearly five years, I never really thought I’d ever start over…  But that’s exactly what I’ve decided to do.  You see, a few weeks ago Blogger announced that they will no longer be supporting FTP publishing after March 26, 2010.  My blog utilized Blogger’s FTP publishing, which means that I’d have to do a major redesign, use their “site migration” tool, or just give up.  After some thought, I’ve decided to give up and start anew … welcome to Cocky & Rude.

So what do you write in your first blog post?  It’s been a long time since I wrote a ‘first post,’ so I googled that question, and here’s what I found:

1. Ask a question

2. Share an anecdote or quote

3. Invoke the Mind’s Eye

4. Use an Analogy, Metaphor or Simile

5. Cite a Shocking Statistic

That all sounds quite wonderful.  Please pretend that I did that, now let’s get on with the show.

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