Up until the last 40 seconds or so…this is totally reminiscent of Adam’s most infamous post.
Sure…it’s to promote Coke, which really doesn’t need that much promotion, but it’s amazing
Hey, kids, Uncle Polt of Polt’s Palace here! Do to his obsession with Polt’s Ass, there’s no way Adam could focus long enough to do this post, even though I know he wants to. So I graciously decided to surprise him and do it FOR him! So here we go with….
Have You Ever…Been Polt’s Ass?
The rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have you ever?!
1. Have you ever been white?
2. Have you ever been hairy?
3. Have you ever been flat?
4. Have you ever been used repeatedly in C&R posts?
5. Have you ever been plastered all over a July photo in a calendar?
6. Have you ever been masturbatory material for Craiggers?
7. Have you ever been deserving of your own regular C&R feature?
8. Have you ever had a $100 bill sticking out of an orifice?
9. Have you ever had an arm, hand and dumbbell thrusting out of you?
10. Have you ever been seen to be laying in the middle of a street?
11. Have you ever been a victim of a freaky obsession by the even more freaky Adam?
12. Have you ever been responsible, consistently, for an increase in comments on C&R posts?
13. Have you ever been slapped by Kris?
14. Have you ever been a reason why Adam will never get rich?
15. Have you ever been admired by someone instead of them watching the super bowl?
16. Have you ever been assumed to be the exact and total opposite, like a big power bottom, of what you actually are, like a butch masculine top?
17. Have you ever been dancing….ahem, cheek to cheek with Paul’s insanely cute boyfriend Travis?
18. Have you ever been a blog post tag on C&R?
19. Have you ever been called “award-winning” by Adam?
20. Have you ever been told you’d be a good thing to pee on?
21. Have you ever been the recipient of The 2011 Lifetime Achievement Cocky Award?
22. Have you ever had Rebecca Black sing a song about you?
23. Have you ever been the C&R fan favorite?
24. Have you ever been part of The 12 Days Of Whatever?
25. Have you ever been a consolation prize to someone if Michelle M. doesn’t win the lottery?
Now, try to pull your eyes away so you can total up your score and tell us what you got in the comments!
(A special Polt-thanks to Michelle M. for allowing me to have one of her Mondays, and another special Polt-thanks to Mikey, for posting this for so it could be a total surprise to Adam!)
If you haven’t heard, Adam is old today. Older than old. So old that we can’t really know how old he is. He is like some sort of prehistoric, higgs boson like thing that we can’t really know until we know it. So…in honor of his defenestration of meat flaps day I give you a “Have you ever quiz” worthy of his royal redness.
The “formatting” of the photos in this post are indicative of why Mikey needs Adam. I mean, come one, this is crazy, but Mikey can not get this shit right. He sucks.
The rules are simple: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
1. Have you ever known an Adam?
2. Have you ever known a ginger Adam?
3. Have you ever blogged about Adam?
4. Have you ever commented on a post by Adam?
5. Have you ever annoyed Adam?
6. Have you ever been annoyed by Adam?
7. Have you ever tried to annoy Adam?
8. Have you ever wanted to be like Adam?
9. Have you ever sung “born on the 5th of July” in honor of Adam?
10. Have you ever tried to steal Adam’s boyfriend?
11. Have you ever dated Adam?
12. Have you ever hated Adam?
13. Have you ever told Adam to relax?
14. Have you ever realized Adam needed to relax?
15. Have you ever chatted with Adam online?
16. Have you ever talked to Adam on the phone?
17. Have you ever asked Adam for advice
18. Have you ever given Adam advice?
19. Have you ever ignored advice that Adam gave you?
20. Have you ever met Adam in person?
21. Have you ever been to Adam’s house?
22. Have you ever met Adam’s cat Spring?
23. Have you ever “known” (in the biblical sense) Adam?
24. Have you ever liked Adam?
25. Have you ever loved Adam?
Now tally up your numbers and admit how much you love Adam. I know I do. Happy Birthday, young man!
Submitted without comment.
And now a comment. I don’t remember always watching Mr. Rogers, but I do remember loving him when I did. There was something so coolly uncool about him, so grandfatherly hip. That video brought that all back. I share this with all of you because we always deserve the chance to remember what it is like to be that innocent kid who liked the old guy wearing the cardigan. Little did Mr Rogers know that he was impacting a generation of kids to embrace his style. Now I can’t walk twenty feet into Brooklyn without running into five or six hipsters dressed like him.
Hello everyone. Remember me? I’m Mikey. I used to blog here. It was a long time ago. I mean Donna Summer was still alive back then. Anyway….I’m here to tell you about five awesome things from my week. Well from my life this week…or something. YOu get it? Ok…go
A few weeks ago, I turned old. Not really old, just sorta old. To commemorate my rapid aging process, my amazing fiancé, Ty, bought me an Amazon Kindle Fire. It is incredible. Ty might regret giving it to me, since I’m so engrossed in reading more and more stuff. Yay technology!
On my awesome new Kindle is my brand new electronic copy of Flagrant Conduct: The Story of Lawrence v Texas by Dale Carpenter. I’m not a legal scholar by any means, but I am loving this book. Carpenter reconstructs the facts and personalities involved in the legal battle that lead to the legalization of same-sex sex acts across the US. It is engaging, shocking and thrilling to read. Pick it up or download it!
Speaking of gay sex, did you know that Jimmy Kimmel interviewed people on the street about whether they have had a gay experience before? Well….he did. The results are hilarious.
Also, when you haven’t had enough fun in your life, you should do what Adam does: put food on your cat and take a photo. It might be bizarre, but it’s not as rare as you think. Thanks the geniuses at Buzzfeed we have a one stop shop for all your cats in fruit hats needs.
And finally, we have a three day weekend and that is incredible. Three days of not going to work and not having to get up early. It is about freaking time. And since the Fourth of July falls on a Wednesday this year, it is the last three day weekend for until Labor Day. Celebrate!
So those are my five: Kindle Fire, a book about gay sex that is really nerdy, Jimmy Kimmel asking random people about gay sex, cats in fruit hats, and a three day weekend. What’s on your list?