How To Get Super Ripped So Everyone Wants To Have Sex With You!

I was paging through the latest issue of Details magazine and I don’t know why, but this article caught my eye.

exercise

It’s all about The Six Fastest Ways To Get Ripped; which are (1) pull-ups, (2) bench presses, (3) squats, (4) farmers walks*, (5) military presses* and (6) deadlifts*. BUT I DISAGREE! That list is complete bullshit.

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Here’s my list of The Fastest 6 Ways to Get Ripped:

1. Have good genes.
2. Exercise 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

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3. Take lots of steroids.
4. Never eat anything that tastes good.

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5. When the photographer comes, make sure you’re super tan, dehydrated, and covered in oil.
6. Make sure that they Photoshop the crap out of you so you look perfect!

CONGRATULATIONS! Now you are super ripped and everyone wants to have sex with you!

*You may be wondering WTF farmers walks, military presses and deadlifts are. I have no idea. If I had actually read the article, I could probably tell you.


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8 thoughts on “How To Get Super Ripped So Everyone Wants To Have Sex With You!”

  1. The last picture is brilliant. He’s actually a bit too ripped for me. I find it kind of icky. I prefer more smoothness and less lumpy. He needs to relax in front of the TV for a couple of weeks and let the muscles calm down.

  2. Of course I love how all exercise articles, videos, infomercials, and even the box covers of any sort of exercise eqiupment, no matter how lame and unrelated to muslce-building, always exhibit men who are ALREADY in a state of maximum rippèd-ness. And you know they got that way probably doing something / using something very different from whatever it is they’re selling/showing.

    Of course every once in a while you get a before/after pic; which always looks totally photoshopped.

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