Frantically Five

Did you know that today is Friday? Well, it is. Some people think this Friday is good because of the imminent arrival of Zombie Jesus. I think it is special, because I am off from work. In other amazing news, a lot of incredible things happened this week. That’s why we do the thing we do that we call Friday Five. Enjoy!

Do you watch Mad Men? If not, you should. This week’s episode featured January Jones’s character Betty struggling with her weight. Why is this relevant to you? Because it is insanely hilarious. Someone even started a twitter account @fatbettyfrancis to immortalize the things that she would say. Let’s hope they don’t rush to make her skinny anytime soon.

After gorging yourself on Fat Betty, you might want to share it on Facebook. Facebook has become an integral part of our world, but can you imagine what it would look like with 1990s web design and graphics? Well if you can’t, someone already did. Ladies and gentlemen, please watch “If Facebook were invented in the ’90s.”

If you are like me, you think a lot about what photo to use on Facebook. Some British chick named Samantha Brick doesn’t have that problem. You see….she is so beautiful that she gets whatever she wants and all kinds of attention she doesn’t want. Poor Samantha!

Now, on to someone who actually deserves your attention: Ryan Gosling. Apparently this gorgeous movie star also has a penchant for saving lives. A British woman looked the wrong way in Manhattan this week and the helpful Gosling warned her about oncoming traffic. I don’t know about you, but I am going to start looking the wrong way before I cross the street. Sure I could end up dead, but I could also get saved by Ryan Gosling.

And finally, you might have heard that moronic director James Cameron has decided to re-release his epically bad movie Titanic in theatres in 3D. I hated the movie when it first came out and I still do. One intrepid, amazing blogger over at Jezebel wrote an accurate and hilarious recap of the movie. It is long, but entirely worth it. Enjoy it here!

Oh Yay! Friday has arrived and you have my five: Fat Betty, 90s Facebook, the arrogance of Samantha Brick, my hero Ryan Gosling, and the best movie review of all time. What’s on your list this week?


6 thoughts on “Frantically Five”

  1. 1. I don’t watch Mad Men.
    2. Wow, blast from the past
    3. She’s not all that,she’s not even a bag of chips
    4. He didn’t even pull her from the path of a run away truck, then give her mouth to mouth to revive her? Lame.
    5. That was hilarious. I’m not a fan of the movie either. We’re going to see Wrath of the Titans in 3-D. Are we sure it was an iceberg? Could it have been the Kracken that did in the Titanic?

  2. three of my favorite quotes
    “It’s She’s All That on a Boat, only with Kate Winslet as Freddie Prinze Jr., Leonardo DiCaprio as that girl who isn’t famous anymore, and also everyone freezes to death in the north Atlantic at the end.”

    “Again with the slave thing. YOU GUYS ARE HELLA NOT SLAVES. PLEASE READ A BOOK.”

    “Then Theoden, King of Rohan, drives the boat into this big iceberg (‘Are you calling me fat, James Cameron?’ – the iceberg) and the ocean starts coming inside the boat (‘Heyyyy, ocean!’ – poor people).”

  3. You should also read the comments on that post….some morons got all confused about the length of the voyage and don’t get that the whole piece is sarcastic.

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