Guess what folks…It’s Friday, which means it is time for a Friday Five. You may be scratching your head and thinking “didn’t we already do this?” Well that was Michelle’s amazing Monday Five…and this is Mikey’s Fabulous Friday Five. It’s really not that complicated. What happened this week that was worth hitting the charts? Well just read on, dear friends.
First up is the most amazing news out of New Jersey since Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi: Snooki is having a baby! For those of you who do not know, Snooki is the chief sleazebag on Jersey Shore. She has heightened awareness of all things New Jersey and help break down all those nasty stereotypes about people from the state. And now…she’s reproducing. I’m anticipating something that looks like Godzilla.
Next we have news from the wonderful world of technology. As we become more and more reliant on our smartphones, they are going to have to get bigger and bigger. Some enterprising young minds are truly worried about this development. In fact, the boys over at Buzzfeed’s new tech site FWD created a chart to demonstrate exactly when the smartphone screen will be larger than the average male penis. Of course, those of you with a micropeen are already pushing your phones forward to make your penis look bigger (I am obviously referring to Adam here).
In more serious news, the American Foundation for Equal Rights broadcast their star studded production of Dustin Lance Black’s play 8 on youtube last week. It is an important play only because it shows the idiocy and bigotry of the anti-gay asswipes fighting to keep happy gay couples from getting married. Also, you should watch it to see how much Chris Colfer’s talents are wasted on “Glee.”
While we are discussing wasted talent, we should turn our attention to Lindsay Lohan. She hosted SNL last week and aside from the Disney Housewives sketch it was awful. Furthermore, why has a woman so young had so much work done on her perfectly beautiful face? Just because Michael Jackson is dead, doesn’t mean that anyone should try and top his plastic surgery record. Lohan is looking so ragged that Debbie Harry was mistaken for her the day after her visit to NYC. Ms. Harry looks great for her age, but she’s also forty odd years older than LiLo.
And finally, the coolest of them all. About a year ago, I wrote a blog rant about how easy it has become to solve Rubik’s Cubes due to guides on the internet. Well an artist named Pete Fecteau has found a way to make them relevant to me again, by making them into a mural of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. His Dream Big project takes hundreds of the cubes and manipulates them so that they have the right colors in the perfect space to make a mural of the Dr. King. It’s moving and mesmerizing.
There you have them folks: Snooki’s offspring, the Peenpocalypse, 8, the unusual resurgence of Debbie Harry, and Rubik’s Cube art. Close runners-up were hardcore gay pornography, this freakishly early spring weather, and 30 Rock’s amazing brilliance. What is on your five today?