Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 1

And so it begins! Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser begins today. Stay tuned each Thursday for the stunning weight-loss success stories of our nine contestants. Who will win this year’s competition? Find out on May 31st … just in time for bikini season! Yay!

Meet the contestants!


Mikey
The whole idea for BC&RL started with me telling Adam that I was officially fat and needed to lose weight to be healthy again. Well…I’m hoping three times really is a charm. Plus…I have a lot of room to go if I’m going to fit into that size 6 wedding gown by Vera Wang this fall.


Adam
I’m so fu¢king fat that none of my clothes fit. My goal is to lose one thousand pounds. mmmm cookies.


Polt
Polt here, and looking over the rules for this thing, I see today I need discuss my reason for participating and what I hope to accomplish. Okay, both can be answered simply by looking at my most recent photo. Yes, I have put on a few pounds since the 2nd edition of this, thanks for noticing and while I ain’t much to look at, at least I’m purple. Anyway, I’m playing along this time because a) I played in the first two and I like being consistent, b) someone has to come in last, and I’ve got broads shoulders (and hips and stomach, etc) so I can take it, c) I’d hate to see Adam cry if not a lot of people played along and d) I might just end up losing a few pounds out of this. And what do I hope to accomplish? Well, some weight loss, I suppose, but I don’t have high hopes for it. No I’m not being negative, just pragmatic. Good luck to everyone!


TwoPi
My doctor has been hassling encouraging me to lose weight for a while. And while I know what I ought to do, having the motivation to actually do it is hard. “Eat right and exercise”; yeah, it might add ten years to my life, but (a) that’s ten years of eating right and exercising, and (b) it’s the LAST ten years it adds on. Give me ten more years as a thirty-year-old, and I might be interested! Anyways, it is something I’ve been meaning to get around to doing, and BC&RL3 seemed like it would be way more fun than going to Weight Watchers’ meetings. Here’s a photo of me with my body double, Alfred Hitchcock.


Tam
This is my inspiration for joining BC&RL3. I convinced myself I could still wear those jeans, I had just chosen not to. HAHAHAHA Oh right. Denial is a wonderful thing. My goals is to get back into those jeans and maybe even the pair a size smaller I admitted I couldn’t wear. Hopefully being accountable to the world wide web will help me stay on track, that along with the encouragement of the other contestants.


Michelle M.
I’m participating because I need to lose some damn weight!


Ryan
I kept going after last season and eventually lost seventy pounds. After taking the last few months off, I’m ready to lose the last bits of fat.


Mr. Sombrero
Mr. Sombrero needs to lose weight because his sombrero doesn’t fit him any more.


Predict a winner in the comments!

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18 thoughts on “Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 3: Week 1”

  1. And I totally think Mikey should go for Panina Torne (yes, I watch far too much Say Yes to the Dress). Panina dresses have the “I’m a cheap slutty whore” vibe going for them, but cost $15K.

  2. I strongly recommend that people try SparkPeople. I found their calorie budgets to be tolerable, which makes it easier to avoid swinging back from eating too little to eating too much. It helped me a lot to have an objective way to tell whether I could afford to have a treat like a tiny cup of ice cream or if I should pass.

    Good luck to everyone.

  3. Oh my god. When this is over, there will be nothing left of Ryan. Love the tiny sombrero and the Hitchcock profile.
    Tam – jeans are my inspiration, too! I have only one pair that fits (and they’re a little tight).
    Adam, you’ve never looked better.

      1. Tam, I used to think I love you, now I know I do. Of course, I now want a cookie, but that is my problem, not yours.

        1. One of my work friends ordered me a giant box of vegan cookies from a fancy bakery … I think I may gain more weight before i lose it…

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