How often do you wash your clothes?

If only I had some bitch to wash my clothes for me!

In continuing with my theme of blog posts to gross out Michelle M. (please see this week’s offerings on nose picking and farting), today we will be talking about how often you wash your clothing.   If you’re like me, laundry day is a real chore.  I live in an apartment that offers no on-site laundry facilities.  Luckily, my parents live pretty close by and are always willing to let me “borrow” their washer and dryer for a few hours.  Hey I’m poor and I gotta save money where I can!

Laundry day is a huge process that usually requires me to roll out of bed at least 3 minutes earlier than normal.  On days that I do laundry, I have to collect my dirty laundry from all over the house, stuff it into my laundry basket (which more often than not is still half-full of clean clothing from the previous wash), then load it all into the car, drive to one of my parent’s houses, lug it into their basement, steal laundry detergent & fabric softener sheets, press buttons, turn knobs, and then visit with them (a.k.a. play with my cell phone and ignore them) for a few hours.  Ugh!

Clearly not my laundry. (Not enough plaid!)

My solution?  Try to wash my clothing as infrequently as possible while continuing to be obsessively clean!  Here are my rules:

Underpants must be washed daily (see yesterday’s post).  I’m vegan, and my underpants can fill up with perfumy glitter pretty quickly — especially when Brussels sprouts are on sale at the grocery store.  Same thing goes for socks … I never want to chance smelling like feet!

Pajamas are never worn.  Why waste the space in the washer?  And going commando at bedtime is just so freeing!

Sheets are washed once a week, especially during the summer.  The idea of sleeping on dirty sheets grosses me out.

Towels are washed once every 3-4 days, and air-dried after each use in between.  I do the same thing with kitchen towels (because they don’t take up much space in the washer and are better for the environment (and wallet) than paper towels).

Is this what I'm missing at the laundromat?

Shirts are washed on a sliding scale.  I’m paranoid that someone at work will notice me wearing the same shirt as the day before — but (especially during the winter months) I’m always trying to come up with ways that I can stretch a shirt into 2 or 3 days of wear.  Maybe a t-shirt from Sunday can double as an undershirt on Monday?  Or one day’s t-shirt can be the next day’s gym shirt?

Sweatshirts, especially my favorite variety: the zipper hoodie are washed AS INFREQUENTLY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.  I never wear just a sweatshirt, so when I wear a one, it’s basically a jacket.  Plus when you wash them, they get all pilly and uncomfortable and start to shrink and UGH!  I only wash them when I absolutely have to (when they start to STINK).  Sometimes I’d rather just buy a new one.

Pants I’m blessed (thank you, FSM!) to have a job without a dress code, so I wear jeans every day of the week.  Although you can actually go for over a year without washing jeans, I tend to wear mine for about 4 days between washes.  My mother thinks this is gross and washes hers after a single day of wear.

Laundry, like cooking and cleaning, is best done by women.

Everything Else gets the sniff test.  Gym clothes are washed pretty often (for obvious reasons).  I never wash my jackets or shoes (out of fear that they’ll fall apart).  I try to wash blankets whenever I can, but they only find their way into a washer every few months if they’re lucky.

So how often do you wash your clothes?  Am I gross or overly clean?  Next time that you see me in person, will you cross the street or give me a big hug?  Lemme know in the comments!

By the way, if anyone would like to buy any of my dirty clothes (for sniffing, burning, voodoo dolls, bizzare sexual fetishes, or any other reasons), please email me.


15 thoughts on “How often do you wash your clothes?”

  1. Should we assume you remove the remaining clean clothing from your laundry basket before adding the dirty clothes? While this would seem obvious I ask because: a friend told me he had friend who kept all his dishes and silverware in his dishwasher. That way everything got washed all at once.

    Underwear seems to my primary laundry constraint. I know I need to wash a load of laundry when I start having to wear my sexy underwear on days I have no need to be wearing sexy underwear. I used to wash my jeans after a single use. Now, I wear them a few days before I wash them, unless I sweat a lot, or go into NYC.

    I have my own laundry equipment, so I can do it whenever I choose. The most annoying part of doing the laundry is putting the clothes away, mostly folding, and mating socks. My “black” socks are mostly varying now shades of dark grey. A poor mating choice will annoy me.

    I also try to avoid ironing everything I can. I’m not good at it, and it is boring.

  2. Underwear daily, bras every 3 days or so. They get rotated by color.
    PJs about every 3 days
    Sheets every 3-4 weeks. Would love fresh sheets daily but I do have a life.
    Towels, every 3-4 uses (I have a three theme)
    Shirts I only wear once.
    Sweatshirts (hoodies worn as jackets) periodically, especially after the cats have used it for a bed and it looks like it’s got enough hair to support an entire ecosystem.
    Pants, usually I wear dress pants twice, jeans/cargos 2 or 3 times, depending how wrinkly they are.
    Everything else? Umm. Not sure what else. Coats and shoes? Coats every couple of months, shoes, only if they get particularly muddy or dirty (sneakers, not dress shoes obvs), dishtowels, every 3-4 uses. Blankets, a couple of times a year if that.

    I do have a washer and dryer in my basement so I have no excuse except that it’s a pain to do laundry and those white clothes have been in the dryer now for close to a week. Hmmm. Should get on that.

  3. I wash on Mondays, since I have off work. I have a three compartment laundry cart in my bedroom: 1 for colors, 1 for whites, 1 for towels. Each Monday, I wash the colors, cause those are my jeans and shirts I wear to work. (wear one pair of jeans generally 4-5 days before moving on to next pair. Shirts are worn once before washing). The whites, which are basically socks, a few pairs of underwear and a couple shirts, are washed whenever I need to, every other week or so. Towels…well I have a HUGE number of towels. I bascially use one towel a week, except in the summer when I may shower more. But I wash towels maybe every three months or so. Bedsheets, I have four sets, and they’re kept on the bed for a month at a time (unless I have a particularly….vigorious bedtimesexxyfun encounter). They’re washed right before I put them on the bed.


  4. I do laundry every other week. That’s about the time I run out of socks and underwear. I was unaware that shirts and pants get dirty. I may need to start washing mine.

  5. Laundry gets done about once a week. Underwear and socks are never worn more than once, shirts can be worn a few times in winter, but not in summer….jeans get washed once a week. I don’t like to wash them very often since they will start to wear quicker if you do!

  6. I do laundry once a week. I wash all of my shirts, t-shirts, pants, socks and underwear. I don’t dry an of the pants or shirts. I try to get two days of wear out of a pair of jeans, three if they aren’t too dirty.

    I wash my bath robe, towel and bath mats once a week. I also wash sheets and pillow cases each week in hot water (helps cut down on my biggest allergen. I wash blankets and the comforter every other week.

  7. I grew up living in apartments so I always had to round up a bunch of quarters, carry my laundry down a flight of stairs and drive it to the laundromat, then babysit it so no one would steal my clothes, then cart it back home and up the stairs. I think one of the reasons I was so eager to marry Harry is because he had a washer and dryer.

  8. I only do laundry after it rains, for when the stream runs full, and the sun dapples on the water’s surface, I can take out my washboard and enjoy nature whilst laundering.

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