Five & Dive

Can we all just do a little dance of joy that Friday has arrived? I will film you all doing so and post them on youtube to entertain the rest of the world. NO? Well to celebrate the end of week I have five of my favorite things this week. So what if most of them are videos! I love videos.

First up this week is a blast from the past with what almost everyone in the world hopes that this Lance Bass produced boy band and music video is a gigantic joke. If it is not, we will all be be laughing at him anyway.

Next we get a look at what Dora the Explorer will look like if she grows up to be a mercenary or at least some sort of super kickass Hunger Games-esque chick. No body messes with Military Dora.

Speaking of whacky takes on childhood, my third favorite thing this week is a website dedicated to what everyone pays attention to when watching pornography: the background. Over at the surprisingly SFW Blackboards in Porn the blogger takes the time to transcribe the text of blackboards in porn and then rates it according to factual accuracy. Geeky glee! They just need to get their gay on.

Had enough fun trying to wrap your head around the math while all the porn is happening? Well get ready to wrap your head around the rap this teen made about his first car. I’m sure his mom and dad meant well, but who want’s a White Minivan.

And finally as we take our trip back to high school (see what I did there? Dora, school porn, first car! Genius!) we can’t forget the all important rite of passage that is a gay man playing the prince in Cinderella. He just needs to work on his upper body strength.

Ouch! There you have them: Lance Bass’s “Let’s hope this is fake” band, Dora with guns, Blackboard Porn, White Minivan, and Cinderella takes a tumble. What made your list this week?


10 thoughts on “Five & Dive”

  1. I can’t decide which of the boys in the Heart2Heart video I want to beat up more. The hair, the clothes, the winking. YUCK.
    Dora is badass. Every backpack should come with a shotgun and Jack Daniels.

  2. that Heart2Heart thing…it’s a promo for gay orgy porn right? I swear I’ve seen at least two of those guys on xtube before.

    That sniper was pretty damn cute, even with the mask and gun.

    I think Craiggers should do a video in a green speedo. About a min-van, or a Hershey’s miniature, or mini-me, or whatever. Just so long as he’s in a green Speedo.

    Prince Charming should leave the glass slipper wearing to Cinderalle. Just sayin.


  3. I have one thing to say about that Heart to Heart video: Worst. Hair. Ever. Oh, and the blonde chick was the worst actress ever. OK, that was two things.

    I was kind of laughing at the Monkey Guy in the Dora video until his head got taken off. Dora redeemed herself with the shot gun though.

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