C&R Fight Club: DWAYNE “THE ROCK” JOHNSON vs. MICHELLE “MUSH” MORGAN!

Welcome to Cocky & Rude Fight Club!  The rules to the game are simple.  Each week we’ll introduce our fighters.  We’ll do the leg work and help you analyze their strengths and weaknesses.  Then we’ll put the results to vote.  You’ll pick which combatant will decimate their opponent in the knock-down, drag-out brawl of Cocky & Rude Fight Club! Let’s meet this week’s fighters…


DWAYNE
“THE ROCK”
JOHNSON

AKA / Alias / Nicknames: Flex Kavana, Rocky Maivia, The Rock, The People’s Champion, The Brahma Bull, The Great One
Date of Birth: May 2, 1972 (age 39)
Place of Birth: Hayward, California
Hair Color: Black
Current Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Relationship Status: Divorced from Dany Garcia with whom he has one daughter: Simone Alexandra
Occupations (current and/or past): actor & professional wrestler
Height & Weight: 6’4″, 260lb
Hobbies: philanthropic efforts, football
Favorite Song: (Possibly) You Send Me
Awards: 2001 Teen Choice award for “Choice Sleezebag”, various WWF/WWE fight wins
Known for: Muscles & Wrestling
Catch Phrases: “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?!”
Tattoos: various
Honor: During a visit to Samoa in July 2004, he was anointed by Head of State Susuga Malietoa Tanumafili II with the chiefly title of ‘Seiuli, Son of Malietoa’
Favorite curse word: “Candy Ass”

Dwayne Douglas Johnson was born in Hayward, California on May 2nd 1972 to Rocky Johnson and Ata Johnson. While growing up, Dwayne traveled around a lot with his parents and watched his father perform in the ring. During his high school years, Dwayne began playing football and he soon received a full scholarship from the University of Miami where he had tremendous success as a football player. In 1995, Dwayne suffered a back injury which cost him a place in the NFL. He then signed a 3 year deal with the Canadian League but left after a year to pursue a career in wrestling. He made his wrestling debut in the USWA under the name Flex Kavanah where he won the tag team championship with Brett Sawyer. In 1996, Dwayne joined the WWE and became Rocky Maivia, later known as The Rock. In 2001, he began his transition into film, with The Mummy Returns. He has since starred in many films, including The Scorpion King, Be Cool, Get Smart, Tooth Fairy, and Fast Five. His secret weapons include: his hulking size and strength (not so secret…), numerous wrestling moves, a tight pair of wrestling Speedos, the ability to constantly refer to himself in the third person, and extensive experience fighting in cages and hitting people with folding chairs.


MICHELLE
“MUSH”
MORGAN

AKA / Alias / Nicknames: Mush
Date of Birth: 9/29/68
Place of Birth: Kennewick, WA
Hair Color: Brown
Current Residence: An attic
Relationship Status: Blessedly single
Occupations (current and/or past): Deli waitress; executive secretary; network engineer
Height & Weight: 5’4″, 135lbs.
Hobbies: Sleeping, reading, drinking coffee
Favorite Song: You’re Breakin’ My Heart
Awards: Hah! As if. The average don’t win awards. (C&R Note: What about BC&RL2?!)
Known for: Being a friendly drunk.
Catch Phrases: “Shut the fuck up.”
Tattoos: Three
Claim to Fame: Can eat Mexican food every day for months on end without ill effects.
Secret Weapons: He’s straight and I have tits.
Favorite curse word: FUCK

In her own words: “I want to be a veterinarian because I love children. I have no kids and no pets, and everything I own in the whole entire world would fit into the bed of a small pickup. I don’t happen to actually own a pickup, but I do have an old bicycle. It’s red. My aunt gave it to me. I dig it.”  Michelle’s secret weapons include a beautiful singing voice that will cause anyone to stop what they’re doing and listen, fiery Mexican food farts, superior IT skills that can save or destroy any computer system, spiked bicycle tires and giant arm muscles.


Who will win in the battle of  MUSH vs. ROCK?  Will Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson smash Michelle “Mush” Morgan with his giant muscles and wrestling moves?  Or will Michelle destroy his computer and run him over with her bicycle? There’s only one rational way to decide which fighter will win this battle. We’re putting this no-holds-barred fight to a vote. The poll will be open for approximately 24 hours, and you may vote as many times as you want. That’s right — we’re not blocking repeat votes, so vote now and vote often for your favorite Cocky & Rude Fight Club opponent.

Check back on Sunday for the results!

Thanks to both Michelles for your assistance with this post!

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11 thoughts on “C&R Fight Club: DWAYNE “THE ROCK” JOHNSON vs. MICHELLE “MUSH” MORGAN!”

  1. Michelle pretty much said it all. Also, yeah, easy to distract a straight man if you fight in a skirt. So I think Mush has this one pretty much wrapped up.

  2. It’s tought to vote against ‘muscles’ and ‘a tight pair of wrestling speedos’, but when Mush said, “He’s straight and I’ve got tits”, when that sealed the deal for me.

    Mush wins. teehee…silly stupid straight boys, falling for the tits distraction every time.

    HUGS…

  3. I was going to vote for Dwayne given that he is a foot taller and is an entire person larger in weight, but then Mush quoted Julie Brown and that won me over.

  4. OMG. I have such a crush on the Rock. BUT, i have a bigger crush on Mush. So she gets my vote! (and, Dwayne, if you need someone to nurse you back to health after your thrashing, call me. )

  5. If you think of MUSH as the equivalent of paper in “rock, paper, scissors….there is no question of her dominance. Also…when you factor in the awesome of Mush, she pretty much pwns all.

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