Yesterday, Craig of Puntabulous fame, declared his love for my co-blogger’s man, Mr. Sombrero. It was one of the most popular and most commented on posts in all of Cocky & Rude history. The affections of one blogger pitted against another in an eternal battle. A classic romantic triangle was born and our followers rose to the challenge. Who was the better match for the whiskered, Mexican one with the sultry shadowed face: Adam or Craig? There is only one way to settle this kind of internet challenge: Internet poll.
Here are the rules. For the next 24-hours you, our humble (and in the case of some of you, arrogant) readers will have the opportunity to make your case AND vote for who Mr. Sombrero should date, marry, and serve. This vote is completely binding.* What does this mean? If Adam wins, he can gingerly skip off into the sunset with Mr. Sombrero. If Craig wins (let’s face it, this is far more likely to happen), Adam must kiss Mr. Sombrero good-bye and Mr. Sombrero must move in with Craig and be his sexual servant. Now that you know what is at stake, let’s find out who the men are who are competing for the affections of this large hatted man with the swarthy face.
Hair Color: Red (or Ginger if you are trying to compensate)
Height: 6 ft
Weight: unavailable (Spring refused to provide us with this information as she felt it would incriminate her)
Penis Size: Somewhere between a pencil and a beer can.
Career: Graphic Design (or complaining about it)
Pros: Has actually met, dated, and arguable had the intercourse with Mr. Sombrero; Spring will scratch anyone who hurts him;
Cons: Lives in Ringworm NJ; has red hair, which is the devil’s color;
Hair Color: luscious brown locks
Eyes:Dreamy green eyes that you can lost in for days
Height: a statuesque 6’4″
Weight: pleasantly plush yet firm 195
Penis Size: Can of Pledge
Career: Something that made him rich enough to buy a new co-op and furnish it with nice things.
Pros: Apparently very rich; hung like the puntabuschlong;
Cons: Polt will kill anyone who tries to take Craig off the market; Natalie Portman (Craig’s wife) will give you paper cuts.
Don’t forget to tell us why you made your choice in the comments!
*Your votes are not binding. Of course, we wish we could contractually obligate Mr. Sombrero to date whomever you choose, but our current legal system doesn’t allow this. Please contact your local congressmember to change this.