A Brief Study In Unibrowology

Perhaps even more discriminated upon than gingers, those with unibrows are a brave sort.  The bearer of a single brow is almost always strong in constitution and self esteem.  With so many brow separation techniques available in today’s society (waxing, tweezing, shaving, electrolysis, etc.), to wear a unibrow is a choice, or even a statement.  Today we will look at sixteen who wear the unibrows proudly.

Clockwise from the upper left is Bert from Sesame Street, Sam “Samuel” the Eagle from The Muppet Show, Groundskeeper Willie McDougal from The Simpsons and Baby Gerald (Maggie Simpson’s arch rival) from The Simpsons.  In this first group, we find two creatures of puppet persuasion and two animated characters.  Notice that an upward turned unibrow makes the character appear happy and jovial.  The downward turned unibrow makes the character appear stern or angry.

Clockwise from the upper left is television and radio personality Adam Carolla, movie star Josh Hartnett, the standard ‘Red Bird‘ from the popular mobile video game Angry Birds, and William John Paul “Liam” Gallagher, lead singer of the band, Oasis.  Each of these pop culture icons proudly displays their unibrow to countless adoring fans.  But unlike Gallagher and Red Bird, Carolla and Hartnett have been knowm to prune their brows for film and television projects.

Clockwise from the upper left is famous Mexican painter, Frida Kahlo de Rivera, Top Chef: Masters season 3 contestant Hugh Acheson, Massachusetts Senator John Forbes Kerry and Former United States embarrassment President, George Walker Bush.  Each of these unibrowed individuals have achieved great success in their chosen careers.  Frida Kahlo was a famous self portrait painter.  John Kerry may have failed at his bid for presidency, but he is the senior Senator of Massachusetts.  Even Acheson, who was the first contestant eliminated from Top Chef: Masters season 3, can thank the power of his unibrow, because he was reinstated into the contest when another chef left the game for personal reasons.  None is more successful than George W. Bush, who ran companies into the ground and did poorly in school — but went on to hold the highest office in the United States.

Clockwise from the upper left is Willow Shields, who was recently cast as Primrose Everdeen in the movie adaptation of The Hunger Games, Madonna’s daughter Lourdes LeonIt’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia character Maggie McPoyle, and Unibrau, who starred as Frau Farbissina’s girlfriend in the Austin Powers movies.  Perhaps the bravest of the sixteen, these four unibrowed lovelies stand tall and strong.  Shields will be laughing at all of these comments when she banks her first Hunger Games paycheck.  Lourdes bravely stands beside her mother’s arms and knows that with those things around, no one will ever have time to make fun of her unibrow.  Maggie McPoyle is an inbred, deaf mute, who is not afraid to make out with anyone in sight (even if it’s her own brother.  And Unibrau is a evil argyle-wearing lesbian.  No one dares fuck with her (except maybe Frau Farbissina).

They’re angry, stern, famous, unapologetic, powerful, proud and they just might be inbred.  They’re the unibrowed among us.

Have you been known to sport the single brow?  Do you have a favorite unibrowed icon that we’ve failed to mention?  Tell us all about it in the comments!


11 thoughts on “A Brief Study In Unibrowology”

  1. Umm. Wow. No. Not me. I mean who doesn’t need a little pruning, but no unibrow. Can’t think of anyone else right now. I’m surprised you found so many as it is.

  2. I have the remnants of a unibrow, just some strays in the center. I don’t tweeze them as there isn’t enough there to warrant the effort. Interestingly, I have a brother with a unibrow and another brother who has two differently colored eyebrows.

  3. @Mel – Quit bragging!
    @John – With approx. 87 siblings, a few weird ones were bound to pop up.
    @Craig – I though you’d like that 🙂

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