Some people say that Zombies don’t exist, but they are wrong. Dead wrong. Every year we celebrate the existence of one of most famousest zombies of all time. He was killed one day and rose three days later. Nowadays zombies only take one day to change from human form to a dead weirdly fixated and moaning zombie, but in the olden times things moved more slowly. We are thankful for that slowness as it enabled us to have the most perfect zombie of all: the Zombie Jesus.
The story goes like this. A long time ago in a place that is somewhere in what is now the Middle East a bunch of people followed this guy around who said he was the son of this thing called a God. If someone did that today, he would end up in a mental hospital, but I digress. So this dude was all worshiped by some apostles or something and they followed him around and they praised him. But the people who didn’t worship him feared his power so they captured him and decided to execute him. It is said that Zombie Jesus was put to death by crucifixion and that he lasted an unusual amount of time on the cross, which can’t really be proven because all the people who were present have different stories to tell. So after he died they took him down and put him in a tomb. The followers were sad, but three days later he rose again and said “brains.” He ate the brains of his followers and turned them into zombies too. They have been blindly spreading his words all over the globe. People have died in his name. It is sad.
That is why we eat this thing called Chocolate Bunnies once a year. They are yummy, but they do not fully represent the story of Zombie Jesus. But there is an alternative, which is depicted on the top of this post. I found it on Think Geek and you too can remember the zombie that changed the world. Enjoy!