We’ve long considered Michelle M. to be one of the nicest and most beloved inhabitants of the blogosphere. But as we’ve recently found out, Michelle is a mighty force to be reckoned with. You cross her, and you she might just beat the ever-loving shit out of you. And it is for that reason (we want to protect you from her rage!) that we asked Michelle to come up with her own Have You Ever?! list of annoyances. You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.
Have You Ever…
1. Have you ever been Kristen Stewart, Ashton Kutcher or Jennifer Love Hewitt?
2. Have you ever failed to return a shopping cart?
3. Have you ever sent Michelle a chain email?
4. Have you ever eaten a tub of garlicky hummus before getting into bed?
5. Have you ever left your dog out in the yard to bark all damn day?
6. Have you ever had a spoiled brat who is out of control/doesn’t listen to you?
7. Have you ever mispronounced jalapeño?
8. Unless you’re Craig, have you ever said “me and him” or “her and me”, etc.?
9. Have you ever been a die hard, crazy ass Republican?
10. Have you ever made noise at a movie theater?
11. Have you ever spit in public?
12. Have you ever loaded the dishwasher improperly?
13. Have you ever used too many asterisks in your comments?
14. Have you ever designed a stupid Wonder Woman costume?
15. Have you ever been a salesperson/customer service rep. who ignores Michelle FOREVER and doesn’t know how to say, “I’ll be with you in a moment.”?
16. Have you ever made Michelle do math?
17. Have you ever walked on the wrong side of the lake path?
18. Have you ever had bad breath while sitting next to Michelle on an airplane?
19. Have you ever left a mess in the staff break room?
20. Have you ever written a song that Michelle can’t get out of her head for days?
21. Have you ever changed the chicken noodle soup recipe at Panera?
22. Have you ever posted a duckface photo?
23. Have you ever given your kid a weird/pretentious name or a name with a ridiculous spelling?
24. Have you ever used a lawnmower or leaf-blower before 10am on a weekend?
25. Have you ever called Michelle Ma’am?
Add your name and score to Michelle’s hit list in the comments!