Have You Ever… Been A Douche?!

I have a theory: douche-bags don’t read Cocky & Rude.  It’s just a theory — but I want to be sure.  Here at Cocky & Rude, we accept all readers and if you’re a douche-bag, we’ll still love you!  You know the rules: For each question that you answer ‘yes’ to, give yourself a single point. When you reach the end of the quiz, add up your points and post your total in the comments.

Have You Ever…

1. Have you ever had a fake tan?
2. Have you ever sported highly stylized facial hair?
3. Have you ever put way too much gel in your hair?
4. Have you ever had frosted tips?
5. Have you ever worn bling?
6. Have you ever worn ridiculous looking sunglasses?
7. Have you ever worn your sunglasses indoors?
8. Have you ever popped your collar?
9. Have you ever worn a baseball hat with the brim to the side?
10. Have you ever worn a wife-beater as a shirt?
11. Have you ever kept a bluetooth headset on your ear for most of the day?
12. Have you ever spent all your time at the gym?
13. Have you ever had giant, ridiculous muscles?
14. Have you ever driven a ridiculous, tricked-out car?
15. Have you ever been a fratboy?
16. Have you ever littered?
17. Have you ever called a waitress or hostess a “sweetheart”?
18. Have you ever behaved obnoxiously in public?
19. Have you ever been called an egomaniac?
20. Have you ever thought that you were God’s gift to the human race?
21. Have you ever abused your girlfriend or boyfriend?
22. Have you ever considered “GTL” a way of life?
23. Have you ever appeared in an episode of Jersey Shore?
24. Have you ever seen your own photo on hotchickswithdouchebags.com?
25. Have you ever been filled with liquid and used to cleanse a horribly dirty vagina or rectum?

Now tell us the truth!  We’ll still love you!  Are you a douche?

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15 thoughts on “Have You Ever… Been A Douche?!”

  1. 5. In my defence, I live in Australia and wifebeaters are not so much ‘douchey’ as ‘all you can wear in the summer without turning into a hot mess’. So really I’m just on 4.

  2. Three. And FWIW, douching damages the natural protective mechanisms of the vaginal wall and increases the risk of yeast infection and STD transmission.

  3. 9. But 4 of those occurred in the context of performing in a show. And what’s wrong with my giant, ridiculous muscle?

  4. 2. I’ve worn bling for Halloween. And I grew up in the seventies, so I’m pretty sure I’ve worn some pretty ridiculous looking sunglasses.

  5. Douche sunglasses have to be a subset of ridiculous looking sunglasses. Blinging out your sunglasses is different that wearing goofy sunglasses.

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