Cyber-Stalking For Dummies

Looking for a little dirt on your potential online date?  Trying to figure out the ages and birthdays of your secretive coworkers?  Or maybe you just wanna find out how much of an online footprint you’re leaving.  Whatever your stalking desires, don’t just let your search begin and end on Facebook.  There are many other resources on the net to aid in your personal information hunt.  Here’s a few pointers:

1. Look Beyond Facebook
Just because Facebook is the hot social network right now, doesn’t mean that it’s the only one out there.  Most ‘net users still have a LinkedIn account or a MySpace page that they’ve forgotten about.  You might also want to check Twitter to see what they’ve been tweeting about.  Branch out a little.

2. Google ’em
When you search Google, you’re likely to get a lot of unwanted results, but try narrowing your search a little bit.  Adding quotes around a name, adding or removing a middle name (or initial) or using nicknames might be the key.  Also try searching Google Images.  You might be surprised by what comes up.

3. Find Their Photos
Looking for some more photos of your victim?  After all … you might not want to go on a blind date if you find out that they’re ugly.  And photos of your coworker before she had that nose job might still be floating around somewhere.  Try searching Flickr, Picasa or another photosharing wsite.

4. People Search
Search engines like WebMii, 123People and Pipl can do some of the work for you.  These free people searches will help you crawl the net and stalk to your heart’s content.

5. Are They Looking For Love?
Why not poke around a site like Match.com or PlentyOfFish to see if they have a dating profile.  Most sites don’t let you search for free, but you can always create a free dummy profile for yourself?  And if Facebook didn’t clue you in to whether or not that cute delivery boy likes boys, this probably will tell you the truth.

6. Find Their Phone Number
This can be a little hit or miss, now that the pesky National Do Not Call Registry is out there for anyone and everyone to join.  But give the online yellow and white pages a try anyway at sites like AnyWho, WhitePages, or PhoneNumber.com.  Then all you have to do is call them and breath really heavy why they threaten to call the police.  People love that!

7. Find Their Home Address
Why call them when you can know where they live?  My favorite site for this is ZabaSearch — it’s a great way to find people’s addresses.

8. Google Map It!
Once you’ve found your victim’s address … why not virtually tour their neighborhood with Google Street View?  You might even find their car in the driveway.  And if you’re really lucky, they’ll have been mowing the front lawn without a shirt on when the Google van drove by.  Grrrooowwwwlll!

9. Find Out How Much They Paid
Now that you’ve got an address, check out Zillow to see how much they paid for their home.  You’ll also find out when they bought it, how much it’s worth, and the taxes that they’ve been paying.

10. Hide In Their Bushes
By now you’ve probably seen their photos, discovered their sexual preference, and found out their phone number, address, house value, age, and a wealth of other knowledge.  Why not just hide in their bushes?  You’d be surprised how much you can learn about someone when you’re peeking in their windows*.

*I’m joking.  Please don’t do this.  Yes Polt, we’re talking to you.

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11 thoughts on “Cyber-Stalking For Dummies”

  1. Some very helpful tips. Not sure how many work in Canada. You know what annoys me? Girls I went to high school with who got married and changed their name. REALLY hard to find now. Stupid medieval convention.

  2. In the olden days, before the internet, we used to drive by the stalkee’s house or call them on the phone and hang up. Good times.

    Tam – one of the benefits to changing my name is it keeps away the stalkers : ).

    Love the #9 photo.

  3. For legal reasons, I must declare that anyone who follows Adam advice does so under his or her own volition and that the bloggers of Cocky & Rude incur no liability.

  4. @Michelle Hmmm. So I didn’t change my name and no one has tracked me down. Damn, I’m totally unpopular with the stalkerazzi. That’s rather sad, and yet I’m happy at the same time. I must be PMSing.

  5. Lol Polt :))

    Great tips in a somewhat funny way, but I’ve actually experienced cyberstalking firsthand and it’s not fun. Not when the person starts stalking you IRL and stuff. Unwanted messages on facebook at first, then somehow got my cell number and kept sending me messages and finally weird letters and gifts in the mail. I closed my Facebook account and changed my number, but I can’t freaking move out and buy a new home. I hired these guys, http://www.rexxfield.com/ and they said it was a bad move to close the facebook and change the number cause that’s what kept him both satisfied AND at a distance. By closing my facebook, i forced him to stalk me IRL, so don’t do that. These freaks evolve much like Darwin said, lol. The stalking stopped a few days ago, but it’s still to soon to say anything conclusive.

  6. hey there, my name is really Elise, but my name calling, rude ass, mentally disturbed nut case cyber stalker, who says they used be somebody, or someone, who knew me in Washington State, YEARS ago, calls me ALL sorts of NAMES, AND all sorts of names, both, too! I wonder if they ARE actually someone, or somebody, that actually knew me, in Washington State, YEARS ago?!?! pretty damn RUDE, to be calling me names, AND to be calling me NAMES, BOTH! too! pretty damn RUDE, indeed! I lived in this group care home, called the Resource. the group care home, called the Resource, was located, in Mount Lake Terrace, Washington, on some way back road, there in Mount Lake Terrace, Washington, I think the place called the Resource, was on some way back road, there in Mount Lake Terrace, Washington, anyways. why don’t YOU come offline, YOU nut ball that used to know me there, in Washington State?!?! stop being an online pussy! I think YOU should STOP being an online PUSSY, and come offline, here to Texas, and meet me in person, YOU PUSSY, who says they used to know me, in Washington State! STOP BEING SUCH AN ONLINE PUSSY!!!!! name calling, mentally disturbed nut case, rude ass, cyber stalker, of mine! have at it, PUSSY! come here to TEXAS, and have at it, you freaking NUT BALL PUSSY!!!!!!

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