If you have been following any of the news coming out of NYC these days, you have heard that the producers (read: big moneybags) of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark have sacked director Julie Taymor in order to make revisions that she was resisting. All the reports coming from viewers and even reviewers the high flying show is currently a dud with significant plot issues that overshadowed the insane life-threatening choreography. So what could be next for the canned directrice of the most costly production in the history of the great White Way? I have a few suggestions.
Can’t Stop the Music
A long time ago when I was about one year old, there was a movie starring Steve Guttenberg, Bruce Jenner & the Village People called Can’t Stop the Music. It was an incredibly fun romp that tries to de-homosexualize the Village People themselves and their audience in some ways but also bring some very strong gay cultural images to your attention. In the hands of Taymor, the Village People could become puppets made from paper mache who are made to perform as heterosexuals by the other characters who represent the oppressive straight society.
Nightmare on Elm Street: A Serio-Comic Opera
Horror Movies always have strong female leads in peril and there is nothing better to base a musical around than the ultimate kiddie rapist/killer revenge story of Elm Street. Obviously this would be done best through the classical opera form with a score by John Williams. The set will be made out of razor sharp metal so that the cast must defy death in order to surrealistically perform each night. I can just see Lea Michele shredding this role.
Inception the Musical
Continuing our theme of movie adaptations AND the addition of dream sequences, Taymor brings you Inception: the Musical. Taymor will first become attracted to this project by hearing the name Ariadne and we all know how much she loves her Greek myth at all costs. We’ll leave the details up to Julie, but I can’t wait to see how she makes the sets fold on top of each other and transform the audiences eyes…not to mention the multiple stories within a story that occur. I’m guessing she will turn the entire theatre into a snow globe with each “flake” representing a dream. I can’t wait!
So those are your next big budget musical flops by the uncompromising visual artiste, Ms. Taymor. Do you think any of them stand a chance of actually happening, cuz seriously they are staging some crap lately that I just can’t handle!!! What’s your idea for a crazy, no rules, musical extravaganza? Does it include flying carpets made of teflon?