I hate my wardrobe. Every day I wake up and look in my closet and look at my clothes, but I find absolutely nothing to wear. When challenged with “nothing to wear,” I often get the itch to shop. But where can a stylish, handsome, sexy man like me shop for everything he ever needed? The internet. Thankfully, my friend Craig sent my co-blogger Adam the link to one of his favorite shops. This line is well known for its diverse assortment of attractive designs for males. It isn’t often you find a store that caters only to men, but this shop does. Because this shop sells clothing for penises.
When you read clothing for penises you probably thought of some sexy men’s underwear that clings the genitals and leaves very little to the imagination. Or maybe even a simple g-string that covers the gonads and uses loose string to hold on to the body. You would be wrong. This site sells the outfits that will make your man or woman sit up and say “damn…he knows how to get ready for a date.” Here are a few of their signature looks.
For the funny guy, we have the Krusty the Penis look. He entertains the court with his off-color jokes, his biting wit and he is known for spewing hilarious wisdom. Dress your little man in this outfit and you are guaranteed to get a laugh.
If your angle is truth (or you are just plain ugly looking), you might go for the Honest Abe. His top hat look makes any man or woman trust he knows what he is doing even when he has a raging case of herpes. No civil war here…just hot lovin’.
Are you a player? Do you spread your venom as much a possible? You just might need the King Cobra. What sexual partner wouldn’t want to see super sharp poisonous teeth approaching their genitals? Try it on and knock the competition out.
In the mood for some raping and pillaging? Want to conquer the world and possibly discover America? Then you should wear the Hagar the Penis. He might slaughter your family, but you will enjoy it!
And our final entry is perhaps my favorite. He jumps through space and time changing lives. He might be the greatest sorta pacifist superhero of all time. He’s the Doctor Penis complete with Fez, cuz fezzes are cool.
Now that you know what Craig wears on his many hot dates, aren’t you excited? He has all the right outfits for all the right occasions and he can even spurt out the right answers. Gotta love our Craig.