Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 2, Week 7

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s game-changer week!  This week, all contestants will leave their teams behind and start playing as individuals.  And until the end of the contest, on each elimination, we’ll only say goodbye to one player.  This week we asked each of our contestants how they’re feeling now that they’ve dropped the dead weight of their ex-teammate.  Here’s what they had to say:

(Oh, and I apologize for the lack of graphics.  Most of the contestants didn’t submit them and I am too ill to make them myself this week. Blerg!) (But Mikey wasn’t…so he took to MS Paint and created some photos for everyone)

Adam: Mr. Sombrero!  Where is my Mr. Sombrero!?  I Miss Youuuu!  While it’s sad to see all of our partners go, this is the week that will which of the teammates have been working harder.  And while I know that I’ll place a little higher than my beloved boyfriend, I also know that I haven’t been trying hard enough.  Candy, cookies, soft pretzels = they’re all still on the menu.  But not any longer!  And as soon as I get over this nasty gold (*cough* *sneeze* *uuuggghhhh*), I’m going to double down and beat you all!

FDot: Thank Goodness.  I don’t think I could have taken another week with my partner.  The phone calls asking me for my calorie count for the day.  The text messages about watching out for saturated fats.  The emails about who was the best Doctor Who villain.  It was like living in a police state.  I was scared to go outside for fear that a spy camera was waiting to snap a picture of me eating a Tootsie Roll.  I can now finally eat a Pringle without fear of reprisal.  And for the record, I need 4000 calories a day to maintain my current levels of machismo; saturated fats are what makes food taste good; and the Zygons.

Jere: “Sometimes I wonder where I’ve been / Who I am / Do I fit in. / Make believin’ is hard alone, / Out here on my own / We’re always provin’ who we are / Always reachin’ for the / risin’ star / To guide me far / And shine me home / Out here on my own / When I’m down and feelin’ blue / I close my eyes so I can be with you / Oh, baby, be strong for me / Baby, belong to me / Help me through / Help me need you / Until the morning sun appears / Making light of all my fears / I dry the tears / I’ve never shown / Out here on my own / When I’m down and feelin’ blue / I close my eyes so I can be with you / Oh, baby, be strong for me / Baby, belong to me / Help me through / Help me need you / Sometimes I wonder where I’ve been / Who I am / Do I fit in / I may not win / But I can’t be thrown / Out here on my own / On my own.”


Mr. Sombrero: Well now that Mr. Gingy and I are no longer a team, I am sure I have no chance of winning this thing. He already left me in the dust. And to get a head start, last week he gave me a ton of chocolates and candy (cleverly cloaked as a v-day gift) hoping that I would gain all the weight back. Sneaky, sneaky… However, I was saved by another lesson of Zumba and was able to actually lose weight from the last weigh-in. Just not sure if it’ll be enough to keep me in the game.  Aaaaaaand…. 1, 2, 3, 4… get your booty off the floor…


Mush: I’m proud and pleased to announce that the water weight has gone! I’m back in the game! I was super freaked when I got on the scale last week and had gained 5 pounds of water, because until it went away I didn’t know it was water, did I? No, I didn’t. I had to spend a week thinking that maybe I was just getting fat for no reason!  LOSING MY PARTNER WILL SUCK. The best part of this contest has been having an awesome teammate who was really into the competition and who has been trying really hard to reach his goal. I’m not looking forward to being split up at all and I hate it. If I don’t win I want Ryan to win!

Paul: I will miss being on a team with FDot in ways that cannot be described, he is the creator of our team name and a wonderful person.  We have never been up for elimination and even though he has been eating parts of himself he has been losing weight. Now that I’m on my own I’m going to win this contest, too bad there aren’t any prizes, I will need some new clothes.  My doctor has said that I need to lose 25% of my body weight, all you skinny bitches could only hope to do that through amputation.  Watch out, I have only just begun!

Polt: Hmm, well, since I’m the dead weight on our team, I think you should ask Jere how it feels to be rid of me. But now that we’re separate, all of Jere’s hard work carrying me will become evident. Now I’ll have to lay off the deep fried butter sticks cause Jere won’t be there to mask it.

Ryan: I’m going to miss being partnered with Mush. We somehow managed to anti-correlate our weight loss so that when I was slow she would pick up her pace and the other way around. Now that we are apart, I shall spend my days metabolically pushing my food away and wandering the cliffs at night. How will I lose weight now?


How did our contestants do this week? It’s time to find out!



And now, like every week it’s time to eliminate a player. Here’s how it works: just like American Idol, you vote for the team that you want to save. The team with the least votes will be eliminated. Polls close around Noon (EST) on Saturday.

Good luck everyone!

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17 thoughts on “Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser 2, Week 7”

  1. Oh no!! How am I going to vote? I want everyone to stay. This sucks!

    On the other hand – I love the graphics – Mush’s hair, Polt’s eye, the fury of Adam’s ginge, Paul’s swirl, etc. Great job Mikey!

    Jere – you are so talented. You don’t need to take off your top!

  2. Great graphics Mikey. You should take over that part of the blog. Keep up the great work everyone. I was appropriately eliminated because my efforts suck.

  3. Actually, that’s how FDot came about. I worked in a school where teachers went by their first names, so I always wrote my last name as F. Took about a week before students started calling me FDot. I went with it.

  4. Wow, I didn’t expect there to be such a difference between team members. I felt confident going up against average team members. I guess this is motivation to make sure I make my exercise goals.

  5. @Fdot I hope this helps:
    Mush – 7.5%
    Paul – 7.08%
    Jere – 6.22%
    Adam – 5.53%
    Ryan – 5.43%
    Polt – 3.41%
    Mr. Sombrero – 3.22%
    Fdot – 3.14%

  6. Now might be the time to mention that everyone who votes to keep me in the competition will receive a bag of my homebaked chocolate chip cookies upon the completion of the competition.

  7. If it makes anybody feel better, today I broke down and ate an entire cheese enchilada platter from El Sombrero. It’s about, oh, SIXTEEN HUNDRED CALORIES, which is a hundred over my daily goal in and of itself. Fuck. Guess who’s not eating tomorrow?

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