Ladies and gentleman, please allow me to welcome you to the first annual Cocky Awards! Throughout the month of December, Mikey and I will be awarding these glorious trophies to all of our (and your) favorites of 2010. So sit back, relax and enjoy the show!
You probably remember back in September when our 8-week weight-loss extravaganza, Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser drew to a close. Some people gained a lot, and some lost a lot (and have since gained most of it back). While Enrico may have walked away with the big prize (Enrico, before you yell at me: I mailed it yesterday, I swear!!), there are a couple more people that deserve awards. Let’s get to it!
BC&RL FAN FAVORITE: Michelle #2
Michelle may gained seven pounds during our weight-loss competition. She may have had ankles that resembled water balloons. She may have finished last. But we loved Mush, who decided to quit smoking during the contest. We embraced her decision and rooted her on. That’s why Michelle won the coveted Fan Favorite Cocky!
BC&RL FAVORITE NON-CONTESTANT: Mel
Even thought he didn’t want to participate in the contest, Mel made a point of updating us on his weight-loss and exercise accomplishments every week. Instead of congratulating the winners in our final BC&RL post, he simply said: “I can still outrun all of y’all now.” You might be better than all of us, but we all love you Mel!
BC&RL LEAST EFFORT: Spring
Was she even aware that she was in a contest? Of course not! It was all kibble, all the time for our favorite fuzzy little lady. She spends about 99% of her day napping. The other 1% of her day is spent biting, scratching and mauling any human or inanimate object that comes in her way. Congratulations to Spring!
BC&RL CURVIEST: Mikey
First he gained weight, then he lost weight, then he gained weight, then he lost weight, then he gained weight, then he lost weight, then he gained weight, then he lost weight, or something like that. His weigh-loss and gain chart was all over the place! Mikey was an impressive flip flopper, and for that he wins the Curviest Cocky!
And this concludes today’s Cocky Awards. Leave your kind words of congratulation and your acceptance speeches in the comments!
It’s not over yet! Look for Cocky Award posts throughout the month of December, culminating in our Reader’s Choice Cocky Awards results on December 30th and 31st! The third in a series of Reader’s Choice ballots posts today at noon.