Do you ever just get SO infuriated by something that you yell, “There should be a law!” You don’t? Well I do. All sorts of things are constantly pissing me off. Maybe I’m just a grumpy person, or maybe, just maybe, there really should be a law.
There should be a law that people need to shut up about crinkly Sun Chips bags. It was reported on Wednesday that Frito-Lay Sun Chips would no longer be using their environmentally-friendly decomposable bags because consumers didn’t like how noisy the bag material is. WHAT?! People really couldn’t deal with a bag that was better for the planet because it made a loud crinkly sound? Customers actually stopped buying the chips because of the noise. Sales tumbled. The planet cries.
Speaking of which… There should be a law that people are required to recycle. Plastic? Glass? Paper? Cardboard? Metal? It’s all recyclable. So why are you throwing it into the trash?! It’s ridiculously lazy. All stores and restaurants should have recycling cans next to their trash cans. And all homes should rinse, sort and recycle. Recycling should not be a choice, it should a be a rule. And there’s nothing that makes me angrier than when coworkers throw their paper in my trash can. There’s a recycling bin FOUR FEET AWAY!
There should be a law that public toilets cannot flush so hard that they fling little droplets of toilet water onto the toilet seat. Seriously — it’s disgusting. No one wants to walk into a bathroom stall and be faced with little drops of water all over the seat. And you’re praying that it’s just water. You grab a wad of toilet paper to wipe off the seat while desperately holding in the reason you’re there in the first place. Flying spaghetti monster forbid that you have to go so badly that you don’t have time to clean the seat! Then you’re doomed to walk around the rest of the day knowing that your bum cheeks are unclean. It’s enough to drive you mad!
There should be a law that people actually have to turn off their phones in the movie theater. I don’t care if you’re expecting an important call. If your life is important enough to interrupt my movie, then don’t go to the movies. If your dad is in the hospital or if your surrogate is about to squirt out your baby… THEN DON’T GO TO THE MOVIES. You were reminded about ten times to turn off your phone. That doesn’t mean to turn the sound down. That doesn’t mean to put it on vibrate (because we can all hear that too!). It means that you should turn it off. If your phone rings in the theater, you go to jail. For a long time. If you answer your phone at the movies? Then you shot on sight.
So what’s bugging you? Write some of your own laws in the comments!