Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser: Week 5

The time has come for our biggest adventure yet: Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser. Only four weeks remain in the competition and Enrico has had a commanding lead over the rest of the pack. It does seem like it might be a wee bit easier to gain weight than to lose it, but I’m not splitting hairs or anything! Let’s see what the skinny is!

Mikey is sooo cute now.

Mikey: I lost weight this week!  …but I am still recording a gain over my starting weight. What did I do differently this week? I got more exercise and ate healthier. I think I might have found an undiscovered relationship between weight, exercise, and the kind of food you consume.

Adam: This week I continued to starve myself and have been exercising regularly.  As the pounds continue to melt off of me, I’m enjoying the fact that I now fit into all my “skinny clothes!”  Yay for a larger wardrobe!

Spring: Hiss!  Growl!  Meooooooow!!  *scratch!*

Polt: Last week I was so happy, I finally lost a pound. Well this week, I found it once again, I’m back up to where I started. Personally, I blame the heat. it’s so hot and humid outside it feel like you’re under Satan’s balls, nestled right up against his taint. And when it’s that hot, I have to stay inside, in the a/c, not exercising. Lest I melt.

the waiter brought 4 straws, but Michelle #1 only needed one
Michelle #1: Due to this attitude on my vacation, I refuse to step on the scale this week.

Matt: This week I’ve been violently ill. So much so that I haven’t the energy to even stand on a scale to weigh myself. So I’m sticking with my same weight from last week. I’ll let you know if I survive for next week… BLERG!

Enrico:This week I accidentally ran into a HUGE problem…. Exercise. I was in NYC for two days and ended up

I didn't know that Jesus was playing
doing a lot of walking! I tried my best to lay still for the next few days, but I still had disappointing results at the end of the week. Next week, I’m not getting out of bed! Unless it involves getting more cake!!

Michelle #2: This week, I gained a pound. Yeah. True story. It’s probably water, and not even respectable fat. I have never in  my life sucked so much as I am sucking at this diet contest! And I’m out.

And without further ado, here are the results
for the 5th week of Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser:

Contestant % Lost Place
Enrico -7.27% Biggest Cock!
Adam 5.22% 2nd Place
Matt 2.00% 3rd Place
Polt, Spring & Michelle #2 0.00% 4th Place
Mikey -0.47% Rudest Loser!

So we are cruising into the second half of the contest and things are really starting to heat up.  Mikey has managed to lose some of the weight he gained through revolutionary means.  Can his ridiculous plan work?  Adam has lost sooooo much already and looks sooo skinny.  Can he keep it up?  Polt, Spring and Michelle #2 have not lost any weight yet … will they ever?  And Enrico finally got with the program and lost some of the weight he originally gained! Check back next week to see who is too sexy for their fat!

My weight loss is still 0.00%.

This is due to the fact that I am basically not trying to lose weight in any organized way at all; since this contest began I have been eating Mexican food, goat’s milk brie, and potato chips with sour cream dip. I have exercised, like, three times. My caloric intake of alcohol alone the first week was… let’s just say it was a lot.

The good news, though, is that being in this contest has kept me aware enough to maintain. Without the contest, I’d probably be gaining right now. So thank you boys for that.

Of course, it ain’t over ’til it’s over. I could mummify myself at the last minute and totally win this thing, bitchez! Whoo hoo!

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10 thoughts on “Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser: Week 5”

  1. My weight’s been up and down, but ended down a bit for the week. And yesterday’s run felt oh so good. Which is a good thing, since I’m supposed to go up to 6 miles this weekend.

  2. Ya know, I think if somebody doesn’t send in a result, they should, by default, be the Rudest Loser that week. Not that I’m advocating changing the rules in the middle of the game…just throwing it out there for BC&RL part Deux!

    HUGS….

  3. @Polt oooh…that would mean I am not rudest loser two weeks in a row!

    I would also like to point out that my brownie breakfast did not adversely effect my dieting! woo hoo

  4. Ryan, no, your cookies, nor the Mexican dinners I had two nights in a row, nor a visit to Red Lobster, not several visits to Mama Polt’s for meals, not damn near a whole bottle of Asti, nor the Cadbury caramel bar, nor the Pringles, nor the Swedish fish.

    Nope, it’s just the heat.

    HUGS>..

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