With immediate apologies to John, who always dresses like a bunny.
On Friday of last week, two friends and I took a drive to Newport, Rhode Island. Or if anyone that I work with asks, just tell them that I had a stomach bug (cuz I called in sick). Here’s what we did…
aAfter a loooooong drive through New York and Connecticut, we arrived in Rhode Island after nearly five hours. Rhode Island is a tiny, backwards state, where license plates have as few as two characters. Pictured above is one of the two giant bridges into Newport, RI.
One of the beaches in Newport is Easton Beach. As someone who is used to the clean, giant beaches of New Jersey, Easton Beach appeared tiny, dirty and gross. The sand was dirt-colored, and the water was teaming with red algae (or sea weed?) that made it look muddy. Eww!
Next to the gross beach is the Newport Cliff Walk. It boasts amazing views (like the one above) of cliffs and water. So beautiful!
Here I am along the Cliff Walk with my best friend, Jennifer Aniston (aka my friend didn’t want her photo on Cocky & Rude). Normally I would just not post this photo, but I was look’n really sexy that day. Try not to drool (too much).
Because we went to a Jamie Cullum concert! Our seats were not all that close … so my super-zoomed photos are quite blurry. In this one, it looks like Jamie is turning into The Hulk.
Jamie was in Newport to open this year’s Newport Jazz Fest. The concert was at the fancy shmancy International Tennis Hall of Fame. Cullum is one of my favorite artists, and the concert did not disappoint. Here’s a photo of him dangling from some stage crap while singing sweet love songs to the audience only me.
Newport is also known for its fancy shops, overpriced restaurants, and walking stereotypes. The required uniform for all poser male Newport visitors (aged 18-25) are khaki pants/shorts and a polo shirt with a popped collar. Hair gel, public drunkenness and a low IQ are preferred.
Pictured above is the Seamen’s Church Institute of Newport. Hehehehe “Seamen”
The next day we woke up early, and fled that creepy state. As punishment for enjoying the concert, we were forced to sit in Connecticut traffic for an extra hour (at least there was extra time to play Would You Do Them?). But even though our vacation lasted only 2 days and we spent over 11 hours in the car, it was still a great trip! The concert was fantastic, and laughing at the dirty phonies laying on a filthy beach was fun! Yay, Newport, RI!