Exposed: The Truth about Craig

When the upcoming Puntabulous gathering was announced a few months ago, I noted to Adam that I was rather familiar with its super-secret location.  Until I was 8 years old, my family lived in a little town on Long Island known as East Islip, NY.  This also happens to be where Craig grew up and currently resides.  I made a note of this coincidence, as it is not often that I get the opportunity to discuss the Islips at social gatherings.

When I was home visiting my parents, who now reside in a less exotic town known as Washington Township, New Jersey (or as it is more affectionately called, “Township”), my mother decided that I should use my relaxing vacation time to clean out her attic, which she did by convincing my niece would be fun and then saying “see your niece wants to do it. it’ll be fun!!!” The attic was humid, dark and stuffed with crap.  One of the piles of crap that we unearthed contained some mementos my mother had hoarded away for me.  Mixed in with every standardized test score and report card I had ever received and abutting my completely useless and inconceivably saved retainer were some yearbooks and papers from my days at Timber Point Elementary School.  In the fourth grade, I had been named Student of Month for December 1988.  Also named student of the month for December 1988 was Craig’s sister.   This got me thinking “what if I can find photos of Craig from his elementary school days?!?! I can expose some hard cold truthiness about Craig!”

After some sleuthing, flipping through photographs and laughing at the wonderfully terrible ’80s hair and clothing, I found Craig’s 2nd grade class photo.  This was not easy to do since the geniuses who put together this little yearbook didn’t bother to put captions with the class members’ names under the photos.  I spent a good part of my research convinced that a 1st grader who looked like a troll was Craig.  I blame it on my lack of face-to-face interaction with Craig and the fact that I’m visually stupid.

But after Adam finally just flat-out asked Craig who his 2nd grade teacher was, I found him (I think?)!  Standing in the second row, looking a bit befuddled, he jumped right off the page.  I scanned the photo below so that you all know that I am telling the truth.

Assuming that we’re right, and this is Craig, please take note of: 1) the oversized, super-cool glasses (years later, this exact pair would be worn by Kanye West), 2) the layering.  It must have been so cold on picture day that Craig didn’t even bother to take his coat off, and 3) the smug pose that’s saying: “don’t fuck’n mess with me.”  This kid is one of the family — he’s as cocky and rude as the rest of us.

You should also know that his second grade teacher, Miss McNorris, was incredibly tall.  To the kids in the school it felt like she was a giant.  It didn’t help that she had a reputation for being mean and also drove an impossibly small car for a woman of her stature.  The very top of her hairdo didn’t even fit in frame of the photo!


Now I don’t have any personal recollections of having met Craig back then, because I was a cool fourth grader who didn’t hang out with any younger kids.  But I did have the opportunity to ask a few people for their earliest and favorite Craig memories.

“Craig was the first real blogger I ever read and certainly that I followed. I didn’t really have a clue what this blogging thing was all about, but I found a link on a site of someone I knew only peripherally and didn’t even care for to be honest, but I thought he was just so funny that I stuck around. Now? Hooked.

The fact that through Puntabulous I’ve been able to get to know and actually meet in person so many fantastic people amazes me. Who would have thought that one little click on a link, because of an intriguing name, would get me to this point? I’ll forever be grateful to Craig for being the catalyst for a lot of amazing people to enter my life, including him of course. :-)” Tam

“My fist recollection of Craig was that he was hilarious. And cute. I followed some link to one of his Natalie Portman posts. I’ve been hooked ever since.” -Michelle M.

“I LOVE YELLING AT HIM!!” Enrico

“..when I friended him on FB I thought his last name was a joke. For, like, a really long time. Hee! ” Michelle

“My first in-person speaking to Craiggers, and he was drunk…er, juss a lil bit TIPsy. He was just so aDORable on the phone. I’m still smiling now.” Polt

So what are your first memories of Craig?  Or tell me us what Craig has meant to you! Or just laugh at his school photo!  Leave it in the comments!

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13 thoughts on “Exposed: The Truth about Craig”

  1. HOLY CRAP THAT IS AMAZING!

    How awful do I look in that picture? Why didn’t I take my jacket off? So many unanswered questions!

    Love this post. Thanks for posting it, I love it!

  2. My first memory of Craig was when I violently barged into the Puntabulous world and demanded respect from an unassuming bunch of interweb hooliganz who till dis day are polite enough to not only pretend to understand me, but claim that I am entertaining on top of it all. Circus leader Craig has trained [read as: zombiefied] us all quite well. Thanks for chiseling out dis little corner of cyber-insanity for us! <34567

  3. My first memory of Craig was when I found one of his Natalie Portman posts early in my coming out journey. I sensed that I had a crush on him. I resolved that he would have been an unobtainable distraction, so I forgot about his blog.

    A few years latter I found his blog again through another link. I was in a different place in my life, and this time I didn’t run away. 😉

    Craig has been an inspiration to me on many levels. I am grateful for the community he has fostered, and every interaction we have had. He has enriched my life.

    Craig is like a vast river, full of interesting eddies and currents. It has been a grand journey. 🙂

  4. Hahaha hilarious and awesome post, Adam!!!!

    Obviously The Dork was Strong with This One from an early age!!!! Those glasses!! Those ears!!!

    I think I first stumbled across puntabulous.com via Josh’s blog. I found Josh’s through someone who tweeted with him last fall (a tweeter of the same first name).

    I still can’t believe what an incredibly, amazingly creative group of people this is. Craig’s blog itself is a fountainhead of creativity that is stunning. Super Viagra, Vagina Girl, videos, Natalie Portman, “everything’s gayer in a scarf”, the puntabuschlong. It’s simply amazing.

    And once I discovered the comment sections in these blogs and the awesome community, which welcomed me so warmly, I knew I had stumbled on the best corner of the internet! ❤

  5. I didn’t find Puntabulous so much as I was directed there by VUBOQ. Looked like a fun time, so I stuck around. Plus Craig’s the youngest child and about the same age as my baby sister, so he reminds me of the baby brother I never had (as opposed to my shiftless real baby brother).

    I have yet to be drunk-dialed by him, though. All my unwholesome little brother fantasies gone to waste. *sigh*

  6. ALl I can say is I’m SO damn glad no one’s found MY 2nd grade school photo! And Mikey, 4th grade in 1988? *SIGH* I was a Sophomore in college. 🙂

    My actual first impression of Craig, in person, is how freakishly tall he is. I mean, I knew he was tall, as he’s said so many times, but he’s someone I literally HAVE to look up to. And that’s a rare person indeed, what with me being 6’1 and all.

    I do love the look on his lil 2nd grader face, though! 🙂

    HUGS…

  7. Awwww. He was adorable. How cool you found the pic. Fun to hear everyone’s stories about how they came to find Craig on the internet.

  8. I found Puntabuous through OMG Blog when both were nominated for the gay bloggies (I think that is what it was). I had followed OMG for a while, but wanted to check out the competition before I voted. I thought Craig’s blog was pretty damn original and funny as hell. I lurked for a while, started to slowly comment and get to know the regulars and the rest is history. I’m totally glad I’ve gotten to know this crazy bunch misfits.

  9. Can I add the rest of Tam’s comment to mine?

    And what a little adorkable boy Craig was! Good job on the sleuthing Mikey :).

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