…But You Can't Take The Gay Outa The Boy.

Inventing a new sport, cutting off limbs, bleeding, alien encounters, bone loving, tree fu¢king, crotch patching and leaving your friend shackled in the woods to die?  All in a day’s fun for Adam and Mikey! But what happened … (dramatic pause) … after they left the woods?

As Adam and Mikey exited the woods, they discovered caged cock near the side of a road.  After a brief birdnapping attempt, Mikey and Adam decided that neither of them were experienced enough in cock wrangling to bring their plan to completion.  Before they left, the cock spit all over their faces.

As Adam drove to his house, Mikey was amazed to find that farms still exist in the Garden State.

As the boys entered Adam’s house, they were greeted by everyone’s favorite C&R Mascot: Spring!  Adam quickly swept her up in a plastic bag and swung her around over his head.

“Prrrrr!  I’ll destroy you all in the Biggest Cock & Rudest Loser contest … if Adam doesn’t suffocate me first!”

Spring then hopped inside of a box, and attacked Adam’s (recently regenerated) arm.

Mikey then proceeded to eat Adam’s cock.  No you perv!  Not his real cock — his plastic wrapped, penis-shaped, vegan, birthday Golden Grahams (Rice Crispy-style) treat “cake” with crushed Oreo Cookie pubic hair!  DUH!

After Adam snatched his cock back from Mikey’s grasp, the boys went to dinner in Lambertville, NJ.  They had invited Joshrico to join them, but Josh was spending the weekend in the city, and Enrico had headed home to visit his family. Mikey whined the whole time about his hiking boo-boos.  Adam did not order a beverage — there were plenty of Mikey’s tears to keep him well-hydrated.After dinner, Adam and Mikey trudged across the bridge into a foreign land filled with ancient gay men that walk hand-in-hand (New Hope, PA).  Here’s a beautiful shot of the Delaware, right before Mikey tried to toss Adam over the side of the bridge.

In the center of town there is a giant metal penis and a pile of balls.  Adam and Mikey were amazed at such a sight … If only the boys knew that they were about to have three, yes THREE celebrity sightings!

C&R’s Cockarazzi Celebrity Sighting #1: Do you see that sexy piece of ass in the center of the photo?  the one with dimpled flub-o legs and a black witch’s dress?  No, that’s not just your regular Walmart trashthat’s Snooki from Jersey Shore!

Grossed out by that sweaty mess of unsexy perspiration dribbling through the back of Mikey’s shirt (featuring killer epaulettes)?  LOOK CLOSER!

C&R’s Cockarazzi Celebrity Sighting #2: That’s Jesus Christ, the cockiest & rudest lord & savior that there ever was!  Our hero!  Yay!

Flabbergasted by their celebrity sightings, the boys headed back to Adam’s car.  As they crossed the bridge back into Lambertville, NJ, the boys heard the sound of awful, eardrum shattering tween music.  C&R’s Cockarazzi Celebrity Sighting #3: It was none other than Justin Bieber and a pack of feathered Bieberians squawking under the bridge!  ♪ ♫ There’s gunna be one less lonely guuurrrlll, Honk, Honk, Honk! ♬♭

As the day drew to a close, Adam drove Mikey all the way to his parent’s house in South Jersey.  The trip took hours and the boys passed the time by gossiping about other bloggers, being mean, incorrectly (Mikey) and correctly (Adam) identifying the singers of pop music, singing along amazing well (Adam) and off-key (Mikey), and telling deep dark secretsssss.  I’m sure you’d like to hear ALL about them, but those are all blogs for another day.

They hope that you enjoyed their adventure!  Note: Please feel free to complain about Adam’s sacrilege (specifically the Justin Bieber & Snooki stuff) in the comments below.

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9 thoughts on “…But You Can't Take The Gay Outa The Boy.”

  1. I’m sure joshrico has a perfectly good explanation for ditching you. Anyway, I don’t think I could handle the awesomeness of photos of the four of you. Especially if you were all crying.

    What did you use in place of butter and marshmallows in the “rice Krispie” cake? Honey? I should make those for the kids at school…

    Spring looks perfect and doesn’t need to lose one ounce. Bitch.

  2. I think the Bieber geese might have actually been Ke$ha, but we weren’t sure. There wasn’t an auto-tuner around to make her sound the least bit interesting or unique.

  3. This? All of this?

    HILARIOUS.

    One day I’m gonna blog about the celebrity academic-type sighting I had. It was when I was shopping {read: looking at what I couldn’t afford but only when I could see into the windows through the throngs of people] in Soho during my fabulous urban vacay. Yeah. There I was, just holding down the corner of Prince and X street (can’t remember), when I saw HIM.

    To be cont., eventually.

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