Have you noticed that Adam is the Most Awesomest? Well today he got even awesomer! I KNOW! I didn’t think it was possible either! But it is true! Today is Adam’s birthday, which is a huge cause for celebration round these parts, because I know the world would not be the same if he weren’t in it. Also this is a big birthday for Adam because he is no longer in his twenties! Being 30 is a big deal! Adam can’t get away with some of the crazy things he pulled when he was younger.
Take this video that Adam sent me a while back. Clearly he and Spring were up all night drinking whatever they drink and chewing on catnip when this was produced. Just look at the two of them! Adam would never be able to pull this off now that he is 30.
Getting that from Adam obviously made me realize how truly awesome he was! There are some things we do need to take into account when evaluating Adam’s awesome quotient. For example, did you know that Adam has never seen Dirty Dancing! Not once! This makes him highly unique, which is a plus 5 on the awesome scale, but slightly out of touch with our generation, which is a negative 1 on that same scale. In the end, he gets plus 4 awesome points for not knowing that Iron Man did not play Baby in the movie. I know this for a fact as when I sent him the clip below, he exclaimed “Oh my, I had no idea Iron Man was into guys and could dance so well! *swoon*”
After I spent an hour explaining that Jennifer Grey was in the movie rather than Iron Man, I just gave up. He refused to see the movie and he refused to accept the truth. If you ever here Adam say something about wanting to dance with Iron Man it’s best to just go with the flow.
Adam may not know the work of Patrick Swayze inside and out, but the man is still the awesomest Adam there ever was. But what do you get a man like this? How can any gift compete with the already amazingness that already exists? Well it took me a while, but I finally came up with it. I made Adam his very own superhero. Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare your eyes for the crudely drawn yet always debonair GAY GINGER CRUSADER!
The Gay Ginger Crusader fights homophobia and gingerphobia all over the world! His glasses give him super-eyesight and alert him to atrocities facing gay gingers everywhere! During battle, GGC shoots rainbow colored Chinese throwing stars at homophobes. Since the GGC is a vegan, the stars don’t kill the homophobes but rather turn them gay. If a non-homophobe is struck by the stars, they have amazing orgasms. In the end everyone is happy!
I can honestly say that no one else I know deserves their own superhero more than Adam! I hope you have an amazing 30th birthday, Adam!!!