Welcome to the Friday Five, where I examine my five favorites of the week!
Wait, what?! Is it finally Friday? This week has been a rough one, but it’s finally over! Together now, let’s all scream TBIF (Thank Buddha it’s Friday)!!! But before we all renounce our Buddhism for the weekend, raise a glass of stolen bacon booze and brag about all the lies we’ve told this week, check out my Friday Five!
Topping the list this week is The Demise of Siobhan Magnus! Her giant mouth has been screaming in our faces and threatening to eat us for [what seems like] years during this season of American Idol. Way back on February 10th we named Siobhan the 4th ugliest female contestant of the season, and despite a bazillion costume changes and hairdos, she never really improved her look. Sure she sang well a few times and I admit that I was a fan from time to time. But most the time her screeching dinosaur noises left the judges swooning and the audience bursting with blood from the ears. This week America finally told Siobhan to get the eff off of the stage! Now let’s hope she drowns in obscurity and we never hear from her again!
Next up on our list of five is Mike O’Malley. I know what you’re thinking: why is this bald, baby-headed doofus on your list? It’s because this guy is a STUD! Not only did he fall in love with Fynn’s sexy middle-aged mom on this week’s episode of Glee, but he’s been pursuing Lauren Graham’s character on Parenthood for weeks! This unlikely guy is chase’n puss on Fox and NBC! Way to go, O’Malley!
Although Cocky & Rude has a history of throwing buckets of hate at Sandra Bullock, this week she’s on my five! On Monday I watched The Blind Side, which was actually pretty damn good! It pains me to admit this, but Sandra did a great job be’n all dramatic and shit. Then on Wednesday she went and announced [via People Magazine] that she had adopted a pretty, rainbow beaded gay pride necklace with a an adorable baby attached to it! Way to go, Sandra! Here at C&R, we hate you a little less this week!
I always take any chance I can get to support my fellow Gingers! This week, my ethnic group is get’n rounded up and killed in M.I.A.’s ultra-violent new video for Born Free. Run Gingers, run! Mean military dudes: If you must, please take our weak (Lindsay Lohan) and leave me alone! Oh, and by the way, Josh kindly explained to me the true meaning of the video: “think about gays/blacks/women/Jews … they were oppressed and i feel like m.i.a. is making a point to be like ‘yeah…it’s so goofy to do this to red-headed peepz…and look back on our history and how we did it to other groups and isn’t it just as silly and disgusting.'” That’s so deep.
When the news readers on the Today Show switch from stories about genocide to kittens, they always say “On a much lighter note…” so I’m going to do the same:
Finally, on a much lighter note, our final five of the week is the Geocities-izer! While it’s not as much of a timesuck as The Most Awesomest Thing Ever, it’s still a buttload of fun! As all you old people remember, Geocities was where many of us plopped our first website! It was free, fun, and more often than not, reallllllly ugly. In our early days of web design, we favored loads of animated .gifs, bright colors, .midi music and super-fun fonts! Now you can see what the web would look like if Geocities still ruled the school with the Geocities-izer! Plug in your favorite website (www.COCKYANDRUDE.com) and flash back in time about 15 years! Oh great, now I have Blues Traveler stuck in my head…
Well that’s all, folks! My five favorites of the week were: Siobhan getting the ax, Mike “The Stud” O’Malley, Sandra’s gay pride necklace, the Ginger-cide and the Geocities-izer! Now it’s your turn: What are your Friday Five? And which of mine shouldn’t have made the list?