Mikey loves to pick on me for my lack of knowledge in the LGBT History department (primarily because I told him to pick on me and I think it’s funny). But there is something that I know about marching … because I was in god damned marching band! That’s right, I survived 4 years of high school marching band, where I played trumpet for 3 years, and sousaphone for the last. I survived four years of band camp (which never featured a flute in my pussy), four years of blood, sweat and tears while dressed in wool with a dead chicken on my head, four years on a muddy uneven practice field (cuz our fancy shoes would ruin the real football field) and four years of marching in competition every weekend so we could win a silly plastic trophy. That’s right, Mikey! I can snap to attention, roll-step, prance, high-step and march forward, backwards and sideways, all while tooting my own horn with the best of them! So there!! What do you have to say for yourself now?!