Idol Soars with Snores and Bores

It’s Idol night again, and with Usher as this week’s mentor, how could anything go wrong?  Seriously, first Miley and now Usher? I’m sorry, but I’m just not feeling the mentors so far this season. Can’t we do any better? And speaking of “better” … why aren’t the top ten any better? This season has thrown a pretty mediocre bunch of performers into our faces, and lately I find myself cringing more than I’m enjoying the performances.

So how’d they do this week? Crazy Siobhan sang Chaka Khan’s Through the Fire and she was surprising terrible. So was her face when the judges told her how awful she was. Casey James sang Sam and Dave’s Hold On, I’m Coming, and he was surprisingly good.  Michael Lynch sang India.Arie’s Ready For Love and he was … alright?  I’m just not seeing (or hearing) the appeal of Big Mike, are you?  Didi Benami sang Jimmy Ruffin’s What Becomes of the Brokenhearted, which was a randomly emotional song for her, but she wouldn’t tell us why.  Don’t keep secrets from us!  Doesn’t she know that an emotional connection with the audience will win her votes?!  The only secret she didn’t keep from us was her lack of singing talent.  Blechk!  And speaking of bleckh, Tim Urban sang Anita Baker’s Sweet Love, and he was awful.  Like really, really, really awful.  Please don’t Vote For The Worst this week and send this mop-top packing!

And more … after the break.

OMG isn’t Kris Allen dreamy??  So anyway … Andrew Garcia sang abusive Chris Brown’s Forever and he wasn’t as bad as he usually is.  His mother was dressed in zebra striped and had words with Simon, which was slightly entertaining.   Katie Stevens put me to sleep when she sang Urethra’s Chain of Fools which was alright, but pretty boring. *snore*  ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *drool* … and what did I dream of?  Yes!  Kris Allen again!

I love the way he sings out of the corner of his perfect little mouth …

But suddenly I was awoken by my two favorites: Lee DeWyze and Crystal Bowersox! My tolerance for Idol was restored as I swooned for Lee DeWyze (who performed Cornelius Brothers’ Treat Her Like A Lady). That boy’s got a lot of talent!  The judges seemed to think he was the best of the night, and I agree!  Bowersox was up next with another perfect song choice: Gladys Knight and the Pips’ Midnight Train to Georgia. This is a song that I like to sing every time I’m waiting on a train platform, but (and it pains me to admit this), she sang it WAY better than I’ve ever done.

Finally, Midget Baby Aaron Kelly sang Bill Withers’ Ain’t No Sunshine.  His creepy tiny baby head made it difficult for me to even hear the performance, but when I closed my eyes and listened, it was just … ok.

So that’s it!  Another week is in the bag.  Who do you think will go home this week?  Will it be Didi, Tim, Katie or Andrew?  Or maybe someone else?  Sing your song in the comments!

Photos swiped from


5 thoughts on “Idol Soars with Snores and Bores”

  1. Siobhan sounds like a cat in heat.
    Still like Casey. He reminds me of Bob Seger.
    Big Mike reminds me of Luther Vandross.
    “Ain’t No Sunshine” is a great song – when Bill Withers sings it. Fetus (featuring Ed Grimley’s hair) didn’t do all the “I knows” in one breath. Lame.
    Goodbye Didi.

    Katie’s performance lacked a certain something…

  2. I LOVE “Alright With Me” [feat. slightly exhausted, pimped-out Ford commercialz!]. And you are soooo right about his singing out the side of his mouf. CUTE CENTRAL! That jaw line makes me DROOOOOOL!

  3. I love Kris Allen!!! I voted for him like 40 times. DELISH.

    I can’t stand Big Mike and don’t understand why everyone loves him! His nice personality is just a show! He wants votes! And he sang one of my fave songs ever and I still don’t like him.

    I hated Aaron’s “Ain’t No Sunshine.” Kris Allen did it last season and it was SO GOOD. Love that song. Hate Aaron.

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