I have long contested that I am the product of a torrid affair between my father and a redheaded milk lady (to be played by Julianne Moore [purple cigarette in hand] in an upcoming Spanish-language telenovela about my life). You see, the last person in my family (or so my “parents” claim) to have any red at all in their hair was my great-grandmother on my mom’s side. After her, it took two generations for that recessive ginger gene to rear it’s rosy head again … on my head. I’m not a true ginger. My hair is more of a brownish blondish red. My mom has always called my hair color “strawberry blond” … but that just sounds too fruity for my liking. When I was applying for a passport last year, I even asked my hairdresser what color I should put down. “Ummmm red? Blond? … Light brown?” It seems that she didn’t even have an answer for me.
Although I’m not a true ginger, I’ve long associated with the ginger culture. I revel in being an outcast, an outsider, someone who’s different. I’ve always felt akin to other gingers. We’re all pale (sometimes even translucent and married to ugly no-talent drug-addicted Australian cowboys) and we burn to a crisp after 60 seconds in the sun – even after applying SPF 1000 sunscreen. You see, only 1% to 2% of the human population has red hair – it’s the rarest natural hair color. So we’re freak’n special!
Yea we’re special … but are we going the way of the dodo bird? I asked Wikipedia, and paraphrased her long-winded answer: When a 2007 report in The Courier-Mail claimed that “red hair is likely to die out in the near future,” lots of blog and other news sources ran with the story. However, later evidence and research disputed the claims (which were funded by the hair-dye maker Procter & Gamble). Red hair is caused by a recessive relatively rare gene, but it is not likely to disappear at any time in the foreseeable future.
We’ve infected the gene pool and we’re not leaving. So are you with us, or are you against is?
Note: Wikipedia is clearly female because she thinks she knows EVERYTHING and is often wrong.