What's Freckled & Red & Pale All Over?

I have long contested that I am the product of a torrid affair between my father and a redheaded milk lady (to be played by Julianne Moore [purple cigarette in hand] in an upcoming Spanish-language telenovela about my life).  You see, the last person in my family (or so my “parents” claim) to have any red at all in their hair was my great-grandmother on my mom’s side.  After her, it took two generations for that recessive ginger gene to rear it’s rosy head again … on my head.  I’m not a true ginger.  My hair is more of a brownish blondish red.  My mom has always called my hair color “strawberry blond” … but that just sounds too fruity for my liking.  When I was applying for a passport last year, I even asked my hairdresser what color I should put down.  “Ummmm red? Blond? … Light brown?”  It seems that she didn’t even have an answer for me.

Although I’m not a true ginger, I’ve long associated with the ginger culture.  I revel in being an outcast, an outsider, someone who’s different.  I’ve always felt akin to other gingers.  We’re all pale (sometimes even translucent and married to ugly no-talent drug-addicted Australian cowboys) and we burn to a crisp after 60 seconds in the sun – even after applying SPF 1000 sunscreen.  You see, only 1% to 2% of the human population has red hair – it’s the rarest natural hair color.  So we’re freak’n special!

Yea we’re special … but are we going the way of the dodo bird?  I asked Wikipedia, and paraphrased her long-winded answer: When a 2007 report in The Courier-Mail claimed that “red hair is likely to die out in the near future,” lots of blog and other news sources ran with the story.  However, later evidence and research disputed the claims (which were funded by the hair-dye maker Procter & Gamble).  Red hair is caused by a recessive relatively rare gene, but it is not likely to disappear at any time in the foreseeable future.

We’ve infected the gene pool and we’re not leaving.  So are you with us, or are you against is?

Note: Wikipedia is clearly female because she thinks she knows EVERYTHING and is often wrong.

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8 thoughts on “What's Freckled & Red & Pale All Over?”

  1. I’m not a fan of red hair. I think I was tramatized in my childhood by a passel of cousins with red hair that had the texture of straw. It was AWFUL, so I tend to associate red hair with an unpleasant texture. However this looks kind of touchable no?

    I was blessed with the early graying gene. I think my first gray hair was when I was 18. I blame my Scottish Grandmother who was nearly white at 50 and my Grandmother and my Mother after her. My daughter is also likely doomed as she seems to have my hair. I’ve given up on coloring it. Easier just to let nature take it’s course.

  2. While not a ginger myself, I am the product of one and therefore a carrier! My Dad had red hair when he was young, but it started to go white when he was in grade school. I have three siblings (two brothers and a sister) who are red heads, two auburn and the last is more of a carrot top on one side of his head and strawberry blond on the other side (yes, you read that correctly, his eyebrows are two different colors as is the hair on his arms and legs).

    Being a carrier, I have some symptoms: I burn in the sun, I’m fairly pale and my hair, like Tam’s started to gray very early (I found my first one at 17). We didn’t skip any generations though, one of my other brother’s who is also a carrier has two ginger kids.

    1. John, are his eyes the same color? That would be really spooky if they were different. Like some kind of super hero or evil villain I suppose.

      1. I am the product of ginger genes too! My hair was red as a child, but it changed to a brownish/black over time. I know I still have that ginger gene because I found my first gray hair at 16…oh and because I too burn easily.

        Stop infecting us with your diseased genes, gingers…

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